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Moderator's note:

Welcome to the group . The Fentanyl patch, or Duragesic Patch only contains

the narcotic Fentanyl. http://www.duragesic.com/

Kaylene

Hello, I am new to the group, just joined today.

I am dealing with a lot of back pain and at times it gets to be more

than I can handle. I have 6 discs in my lower back that are

herniated/bulging and I have 4 facet joints that are messed up and

they have bony overgrowth in the center of them that is pressing on

the nerves to my legs.

I am under the care of a pain management specialist and right now I am

on the Fentanyl pain patch; it contains Fentanyl, Morphine and

Methadone. I am on the next to the lowest level and I am going to

have to ask him to increase the dosage, this level is not handling the

pain. Also every other month I get an epidural block to my lower back.

I have had back pain off and on for several years and was diagnosed

with degenerative disc disease. One morning I was leaned over

scooping out the cat's litter box and I felt some pressure in my lower

back and when I straightened up, I felt like someone had shot me in

the back. I couldn't sit down, couldn't lay down, all I could do was

hang on to the wall and scream. My husband took me to the ER and the

doctor said he was sure I had had some discs to turn loose but I

needed an MRI which I had done a week later.

I had cervical spine surgery 3 years ago; a disc ruptured and it had

to be removed and I have hardware, bone graft, and all that good stuff

in my neck.

I am on the pain patch I mentioned, Neurontin, Soma muscle relaxer,

and a few other things such as med for high blood pressure and a

hormone patch.

All of this interferes so much with my life, I am so sick of hurting

all the time. I can't work anymore, I rarely drive anymore because of

all the pain med I am on. I have a small online business that helps

to fund the ferret rescues we do. We have ferrets and we take in the

old ones that no one wants. I get tremendous pleasure out of my

ferrets, I try to draw on their energy and sunny disposition but it is

hard to battle this every day and keep the depression beaten back from

the door.

When I had the cervical spine surgery, it was HORRIBLE and I guess my

body saw it as such an assault, I immediately went into fibromyalgia

and my life has pretty much been hell ever since.

I really need some help trying to figure out how to live with all

this. I feel the quality of my life is slipping away.

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Hi ,

Welcome to the group. Sorry that you have to be here, but glad you ound

support. You will, I am sure, benefit from our group, as I have. Try readig

through some of the old posts, and ask lots of questions, if theyare not

answered right away, ask another. There are many people with lots of different

experiences to share here.

Good luck, and try not to let your pain dictate who you are. I did that for

far too long.

Angie

---------------------------------

Don't pick lemons.

See all the new 2007 cars at Yahoo! Autos.

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  • 10 months later...

Hi Tressa,

Welcome to our group. My mother is also undiagnosed (except by

me!). She is not high functioning, though - more medium

functioning, if there is such a thing.

This is a great place for the kind of support you need.

Take care,

Sylvia

>

> Hello,

>

> Today I found and joined this group - I am grateful it exists! I

am

> writing to introduce myself to other group members and to open up

> future lines of communication.

>

> I joined this group because I recently came home from a

disturbing,

> miserable but typical Christmas with my family. Regrettably, this

> may have to be the last Christmas I spend at my Mother's home. I

> just can't stomach my Mother's irrational rages and mood swings,

her

> constant devaluation of my stepfather in front of everyone and the

> overall feeling of being trapped in a chaotic/abusive/toxic

> environment.

>

> My mother presents with the characteristics of a high functioning

> borderline. While she has not been officially diagnosed as such,

the

> signs are there. Regardless of whether or not it is the case,

those

> around her bear the brunt of the associated behaviors.

>

> Anyway, I'm joining this group in order to connect with others who

> are dealing with high functioning borderline mothers in order to

> share coping strategies and to both recieve and give support.

Please

> feel free to respond if you are dealing with a similar situation..

>

> Thank you, I look forward to connecting with you!

>

> -tressa717 :)

>

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Tressa,

This is another one of those eerily familiar posts--often, when other people

on here describe their BPD parent's symptoms, it's as though we were two doctors

comparing x-rays of smiliarly fractured collarbones or something. It's

incredible that a mental injury can cause such consistent and predictable

behavior! My mother is also extremely high functioning, sits on several

committees, owns her own business, has a gorgeous house that has been in two

decorating magazines, walks around the world looking like Princess Di yet exists

within a chaotic world of rage, fear, paranoia, depression and cruelty. She,

too, devalues step-dad to anyone and everyone (the woman at the nail salon, the

check out guy at the grocery store) and treats him like an insubordinate child

in front of his friends, coworkers and family. Your description of your

'typical' family Christmas was funny--I sent several e-mails to my boyfriend

this week, the titles of most were 'miserable' and 'disturbing

tales'. And I too feel that, at 27, I have the power to decide that this is

the last Christmas I'm spending w/ nada. I haven't felt adult or empowered

enough to make that decision in the past but this particular trip was so messy

and stressful, it was the utter opposite of a vacation, whatever that word would

be, and I'm returning home exhausted with big bags under my eyes and cloudy

thoughts.

It's frustrating to know, more certainly than you know almost anything, that

your mom has BPD but won't/ can't be diagnosed because she's too cunning and in

denial to be arrested, committed or treated. My inability to help or change her

is of the heart breaks I've tried to release back into the universe but it

doesn't make it any easier to coexist with her. We succumb, voluntarily to that

'trapped' feeling when we return home because there's only one way to exist in

Oz and that's under the Queen's thumb. I've had very little autonomy since I've

been home--I'm told we're running to out to see family friends at 11 am and find

myself still trapped in the car at 5 pm after having been dragged on eleven

errands to the bank, dry cleaners, book store etc. If she's not hungry I'm not

hungry, if she can't sleep I find her lurking in the door at 4 am whispering

'Jo? Jo? You awake?' She so quickly emmeshes my identity into hers that I

forget I have needs of my own.

I'ts such a strange world we suffer but it feels great to share stories on

here and to find a little humor in all of this. We only have one life and have

to reclaim it for ourselves! Nadas have a whirling vacuum of emptiness inside

them them and they will suck away the life force of everyone around them to no

end--my mom reminds me of a dementor in Harry Potter sometimes:)

Glad you found this site, it's a great resource when things are particularly

bad-

tressa717 wrote:

Hello,

Today I found and joined this group - I am grateful it exists! I am

writing to introduce myself to other group members and to open up

future lines of communication.

I joined this group because I recently came home from a disturbing,

miserable but typical Christmas with my family. Regrettably, this

may have to be the last Christmas I spend at my Mother's home. I

just can't stomach my Mother's irrational rages and mood swings, her

constant devaluation of my stepfather in front of everyone and the

overall feeling of being trapped in a chaotic/abusive/toxic

environment.

My mother presents with the characteristics of a high functioning

borderline. While she has not been officially diagnosed as such, the

signs are there. Regardless of whether or not it is the case, those

around her bear the brunt of the associated behaviors.

Anyway, I'm joining this group in order to connect with others who

are dealing with high functioning borderline mothers in order to

share coping strategies and to both recieve and give support. Please

feel free to respond if you are dealing with a similar situation..

Thank you, I look forward to connecting with you!

-tressa717 :)

---------------------------------

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

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