Where is the Light at the End of the Tunnel??

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone,

Though I don't post often I do read everyone's posts and am learning a great deal from them. And today have decided to share some of what has happened to me lately.

I had been doing well at my current dosage of .25 xanax twice a day (original dose for 14 years prior 3 mg.pid) I have felt stable and anticipate another reduction of 10 per cent as soon as I receive my prescription for valium. My prescription coverage is mail order and I will receive the valium later this week.

However, last Tuesday I contracted a bronchial virus which put in bed for two days, and still is wreaking physical havoc due to violent coughing fits,lack of energy, headache. I certainly noticed that during the time of this viral infection, my emotional status changed tremendously. Once again I began having panic attacks, racing thoughts, and increased anxiety (the reasons for my originally taking xanax).

By Sunday morning, when I was due to host a birthday dinner, decorate the cake, and entertain 30 guests I was in quite an emotional stew. I became so upset that morning that I had to leave home and drive around in order to calm down. Add to this suicidal thoughts and a rampant fatalistic attitude to complete the picture. I did manage to pull it all off though it was not the pleasant experience it might have been.

Thus my question is this: Is my increased anxiety level due to the viral infection??? or on the other hand without being medicated, am I eternally going to overreact to stressfull situations (both physical and emotional)?? It would seem to be that with resistance lowered one might be more likely to be in emotional overload as the body seeks to regain homeostasis.

I say this because nothing has changed in my life, the same stress exists as before the medications began; my overreaction remains intact as well. I have not learned new coping skills. Do I need to be in therapy??? What else can I do to become a whole, healthy, happy person?

Is there really a light at the end of this tunnel for me??

Seeking assistance, advice, or just a pat on the back.. I remain

Respecfully,

Rose