Guest guest Posted December 18, 2007 Report Share Posted December 18, 2007 Just something I've realized from reading " Leaving Home. " I thought I would bring it up, to see if anyone else has a light bulb moment. When I would complain about my mother as an adult, I would sometimes explain to people that I saw my mother from my childhood as one woman, and my mother from today as another. I obviously couldn't be " friends " with the woman who laughed at my pain, screamed at me, invaded my privacy (diary, trash digging, phone call listening, throwing my things away), and just plain looked at me with hate all the time. SO, as an adult, I dealt with her by repressing the feelings I had about that woman who crushed my spirit, the one I hated so much. Also, as an adult, she was different. She could not force me to sit at her kitchen table until I told her why I was in a bad mood. She could not burn my scalp with the curling iron on purpose. She could not keep me from going to the doctor anymore. No, this " new " mother controls me with guilt mostly, with an occasional rage thrown in. I realized with the help of " Leaving Home " that I had split my mother, in an effort to not feel totally hated and abandoned by my own parent. The bad mom was gone. This new mom was different. Yet in reality, she was not different at all. Does this make any sense? Anyone else do this? -Deanna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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