Help In So Much Pain

[Guest guest]

Hi, I contracted breast cancer May of 1999 had a mastectomy with

reconstruction surgery they used my back muscle (the latisimus dorsi

muscle) ever since I have been in chronic pain. I have tried so many

different pain pills, and have had numerous types of injections. I

also had a trial spine stimulator that was horrible.

I am now on Avinza 24 hour release morphine and oxycodone 30 mg the

last procedure I had was a trigger point injection ever since that

injection the pain has gotten worse. I also am so tired all the time.

Is any one else tired all the time? Does any one know of this

happening to anyone else after having breast reconstruction? I don't

know how much longer I can live like this I just want my old life

back. I use to be very active worked out at the gym my entire life,

was the type of person that couldn't sit still.

I had to quit working 2.5 yrs ago between the pain and falling asleep

at work I couldn't do it any more. I was 36 when this happened I feel

like my life is over nobody understands the pain I feel and

tiredness. My son was six when this happened. He does not know the

old me just this me that's always in pain, sleeping, crying. Any

suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks,

[Guest guest]

My heart goes out to you I have never had breast cancer but I can identify with

chronic pain in my back which the pills don't help anymore I hope you can find

someone to help you

[Guest guest]

> wrote: " Is any one else tired all the time? Does any one know of >this

>happening to anyone else after having breast reconstruction? I don't

>know how much longer I can live like this I just want my old life

>back. I use to be very active worked out at the gym my entire life,

>was the type of person that couldn't sit still. "

### ,

I can " hear " the frustration in your voice, and I fully understand how you

feel. I'm exhausted all the time too. I'm tired of being tired; I'm sure you

know what I mean.

Like you, I've tried anything and everything to try to regain some semblance of

my former life, with more failures than successes. But the point is, you CAN

continue to live like this, even though, sadly, you most likely will never get

your old life back.

The key is to try to develop a new life that is mindful of the pain but isn't

consumed by it.

For example, you can't work out at the gym anymore. That's understandable. But

is there anything that you used to wish you had time for when your life was more

active that you could take up now?

Maybe knitting, scrapbooking, pencil drawings, journaling, or something along

those lines. Did you always wish you could learn how to make sushi?

This might be a good time to take an adult-ed cooking class. Or an online class

in a subject you wish you could have studied back in the old days but couldn't

fit into your schedule. In other words, create a " new " you within the

limitations the pain causes.

You're younger than I am (I'm 49), but when I was your age, I had two young

children to look after in between orthopedic surgeries and fibro flare-ups. I

was never the kind of Mom who could throw a ball around with my kids (I have one

boy, one girl), or go kayaking with them, or take them to the zoo (couldn't walk

that far).

But I could, and did, engage with my children all the time. I took a

mommy-and-me art class with each of them. I baked cookies with them (kids just

LOVE playing with real cookie dough!).

I was a Brownie co-leader; the other leader knew that I wasn't able to lead the

girls in the more active badge pursuits, so she did the rough-and-tumble stuff

while I led the lower-key activities.

I always volunteered in their classrooms, which was great in that my kids could

see me getting involved in their schooling, but if I couldn't make it in one day

because of my pain, I didn't have to go in. (On the other hand, I was NEVER one

of the moms to go on a field trip! LOL)

I can't even remember everything that I did with my kids, but I know it was a

lot. And I know that they appreciate all the time I put in, in spite of my pain

level being through the roof, now that they're older. My daughter, who just

turned 20, often tells me how great it was to have me around all the time and

being a part of her daily life when she was younger. Had I not been in so much

pain all the time, I probably would have gone back to work, so there was

actually a benefit from having to stay home.

" I had to quit working 2.5 yrs ago between the pain and falling asleep

at work I couldn't do it any more. I was 36 when this happened I feel

like my life is over nobody understands the pain I feel and

tiredness. My son was six when this happened. He does not know the

old me just this me that's always in pain, sleeping, crying. Any

suggestions would be appreciated. "

### As I said, I was around your age when I was in and out of the hospital for

broken bones and neuropathies and all sorts of fun stuff like that. Followed by

lengthy recoveries, of course.

What I learned from my kids was that even at a young age, they wanted to help

Mommy get better. My son was the official ice-pack-getter. It was incredible to

see the pride on his 3-year-old face when he'd hand me an ice pack and I'd tell

him that he was helping me get better. My daughter, the artist, was told that

looking at her special drawings for Mommy would make me heal faster.

Which is not to say that my children weren't frightened to see their mother

crying in pain and laid up. But letting them see that it was still Mommy

underneath all those bandages was important, and letting them get " involved " in

my recovery was more important still. It may sound silly, and perhaps it was.

But I believe to this day that an ice pack applied by a 3-year-old is better

than any other kind.

I also think that doing stuff with your son will help you get your mind off the

pain. And it doesn't have to be active stuff.

Read a book together. Watch a video. Look out the window at the birds, the

stars, the airplanes. Do an arts-and-crafts project.

Take turns choosing songs to listen to on the stereo--you can introduce him to

one of your favorite bands and he can return the favor.

Kids just want to be with their parents. So while you're cooking dinner (or even

while you're ordering pizza), ask him to set the table. I'm guessing your son is

around 8 or 9 now; that's plenty old enough to learn how to make spaghetti for

the family dinner while you surreptitiously supervise and engage him in

conversation.

Sorry, didn't mean for this to be so long. But reading your post sure brought

back memories.

Trust me, you'll get through this, and so will your son. And he'll be stronger

for it. He'll learn compassion and empathy and be more inclined to help others.

And that's a life lesson well-earned.

Hugs,

a

[Guest guest]

Hi Rylalisa,

I'm 37 now with a 6 yr. old daughter and I cannot imagine going through the

pain and suffering you have. I am so sorry that something that was suppose to

help, actually made things worse (taking that back muscle). I'm sorry that I

don't have many suggestion. Are you on anti-depressants? Sometimes they say

those help with the pain and help you deal with the symptoms better (not so sad

and mourning your loss).

I wish there was something I could do to help you. I will pray for you and

hope that things start looking up and they can find a procedure that actually

helps you instead of making things worse.

Good luck and take care,

Caitlin

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