Suggestions for Siblings

[Guest guest]

My mother is a high functioning BP. I'm the oldeset, only girl, with

the only grandchildren. Both of my brothers cannot understand how I

can no longer have a relationship with our mother and most

importantly how I can keep her from seeing her only grandchildren who

are now old enough to make their own decision as to whether they want

to pursue that relationship. They are extremely emotionally

intelligent children and had witnessed for years and seen more

clearly these past few years in letters from her, how " sick " she

really is. They are not willing to invest in her. Sadly, my brothers

feel I'm teaching my children that if they don't agree with someone

and their behaviors that they are learning to just cast them

aside...that nobody is perfect, we all have some flaws. I'm so

exhausted feeling I have to " explain " myself to them and trying to

convince them that the boys know exactly what they're doing. My

brothers seem to think that because they have learned to just shut

our mother up when she starts going down a certain path, that I

should be able to do the same. That her behavior is " not that bad " .

Thankfully, neither brother ever experienced the wrath that I did. My

youngest brother refuses to read SWOE saying he doesn't believe in

Self-Help books. My other brother is living with someone with strong

BP characteristics. I love them both dearly. They each are making an

effort to keep OUR relationship functional but there's a white

elephant in the room all the time especially since I live in the same

city as our mother and they both live in Chicago. They spend

Christmas with her as well as Thanksgiving. They both made it clear

she will always come first. It's hurtful to me because I believe they

feel I have brought this on myself so I should't expect them to ever

want to spend those holiday with me and my family. The holidays sure

can be tough. Any suggestions? Thank you for your time!! Happy

Holidays to All!