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Re: BPD apologies

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That seems like a real BPD trait, doesn't it?  My mother NEVER apologized.. 

Well, wait...she used to apologize for " loving you too much " .  @!$#@$#

BPD apologies

Has anyone ever had a sincere apology from a BPD? I never have - in fact she

uses times when she should apologize as a way to make things much much worse

and to twist the knife. For instance, I was angry with her for always being

at least 2 hours late for an appointment and she says " I know why you are

angry with me. It's because I loved your brothers more than I ever loved

you. " I mean being 2 hours late for everything for 26 years was bad but not

as bad as that.

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if you say something that is

> truthful, a lot of the times it is interpreted by them as something

> that is HURTFUL. where did this idea that truth=hurt come from?

Maybe they are all dyslexic?! ha ha

I think the reality is that when you do crappy, hurtful things to

other people, that IS indeed the truth. It's just a truth they don't

want to hear.

On the KO end, the truth does hurt, even before we realize it's the

truth. Growing up we hide from it, pretend it isn't the way it is,

and even begin to take responsibility for their truth, their

craziness. It all become a self-fulfilling prophecy, twisted between

one generation and the next.

> > >

> > > Has anyone ever had a sincere apology from a BPD? I never have -

in

> > fact she

> > > uses times when she should apologize as a way to make things

much

> > much worse

> > > and to twist the knife. For instance, I was angry with her for

> > always being

> > > at least 2 hours late for an appointment and she says " I know

why

> > you are

> > > angry with me. It's because I loved your brothers more than I

ever

> loved

> > > you. " I mean being 2 hours late for everything for 26 years was

bad

> > but not

> > > as bad as that.

> > >

> > >

> > >

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i only got apologies when mom flips out. it's really depressing. she

gets all depressed and suicidal and cries cries cries about how she

screwed up as a mom. i don't know if these are real apologies, but

i'm sure what she's feeling is real. eh...it's weird. it's like i'm

all bad or she's all bad. there's no gray area for just being human.

binkh

>

> Has anyone ever had a sincere apology from a BPD? I never have - in

fact she

> uses times when she should apologize as a way to make things much

much worse

> and to twist the knife. For instance, I was angry with her for

always being

> at least 2 hours late for an appointment and she says " I know why

you are

> angry with me. It's because I loved your brothers more than I ever loved

> you. " I mean being 2 hours late for everything for 26 years was bad

but not

> as bad as that.

>

>

>

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