My holiday after going NC

[Guest guest]

For those of you who don't know, I had a blowout with my nada in

April, during which time I hung up on her and blocked her number. She

was in an abandonment cycle, one which I felt coming for about 6

months before she finally called me, crying, saying " I feel neglected "

over and over and over and over.

I was supposed to come over to my parents' house for Thanksgiving,

where my bro and his fam would be, but when the time came I just was

not up to it. I needed to be in much stronger emotional shape to

handle it, so I didn't go.

About a week later, I received Christmas presents from my mother, one

of which was a book on happiness (because I must be unhappy if I'm

not talking to her, right?). Two days later, my SIL calls and says

she got gifts from my mother out of the blue. For 15 years, my

parents have been driving 2.5 hours to my brother's house on Christmas

morning. Now she sends them gifts 4 weeks ahead with no explanation.

So my SIL calls my nada and says, " what's up? " My nada says she is

going to spend Christmas with her sisters and her father won't live

forever, you know. My SIL, who is gifted at dealing with people,

responds, " That's great! That sounds like fun! You SHOULD see your

sisters more! "

My SIL calls me to tell me this and she says, " You know, your mother

is very manipulative. I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner. She wanted

me to freak out and I didn't. "

She continued to say that she is so happy to not see my mother this

year at Christmas that she is dancing a jig, and to thank me for

making all of this possible....

Hmmm. Funny.

[Guest guest]

Great story! I love how your sister didn't take the bait!

That reminds me of what my parents are setting up to happen: They

want to make sure they'll look as lonely as possible this Christmas,

so they can highlight how " horrible " I am.

What they don't volunteer -- and what your sister-in-law handled so

well -- is that they darn well can make plans with anyone they

want. They're just such hermits, you know THAT'S never going to

happen. It's more fun to look like a victim of your horrible

daughter -- so let's make ourselves look as pitiful as possible.

They haven't called, either -- to try and make plans with us. It's

ALL on me -- and I'd better perform or they'll get righteously

pissed off. I think they're getting addicted to the feeling of

being wronged!

Christmas is a week away, and they've done absolutely NOTHING to try

and make plans. My dad's last e-mail was so vicious, I have no

illusions about them wanting to see me. I'm taking Dad at his word -

- we won't even be in town this Christmas. We're leaving Saturday.

So, the point I'm belaboring is: They're trying to set me up for a

fall, much like your nada did with your sister-in-law with that

phone call.

Oh well -- stay tuned......

Deanna and everyone here -- have a wonderful, peaceful Christmas!

Love,

Kyla