Re: update-Angie

[Guest guest]

Angie,

I'm so very sorry to hear that your mother's cancer has progressed so

fast. I know how hard this must be for you.

No one is ever truly ready to say goodbye to someone they love so

dearly, but cancer is a cruel disease in it's advanced stages, and

although this may sound bad, it's better for them if they don't have

to linger long in the final stages. It doesn't give us much time to

prepare, but they don't have to suffer as much.

You are a very strong woman Angie, and it sounds like you were raised

by a very strong woman. Look back on all of the times you have had

together, and treasure them like gold. Happy, loving memories are

worth more than all the money in the world, as are the people we have

shared them with. Don't let this shake your faith, but rather,

embrace it now for all that it's worth. Your faith and your

spiritual strength are the things that are going to guide you through

right now.

I'm glad that hospice is keeping her as comfortable as possible. You

can take peace in knowing that they will keep her from suffering as

little as they possibly can. I wish I could help you carry this

burden though. I think we all do, but I'm thankful that you have

your sister there with you. Please know that I, and everyone else,

are here for you whenever you need us. I will be keeping you and

your family in my thoughts. I only wish that there was more that I

could do.

Love,

Jen Z.

[Guest guest]

Thank you all so much for the kind words of comfort. I am taking this pretty

hard, probably like most when they lose their mom to cancer at age 52. I am only

31. My step mon died about 6 years ago, and i am still grieving for her. I

remember how hard it was at first with her. Just when you think you have put

that grief to rest, something comes up and makes me hurt all over again.

I almost feel guilty mourning her now, since she is still alive. But I am

mourning her former life I guess. This has changed her in many ways, good and

bad. She used to be kind of pessimistic, now I dont see any trace of that in her

personality. She is not feeling sorry for herself,

But her independance and physical strength is gone. Her looks have changed

dramatically. I have been looking through pictures of even a month ago, it is

hard to see her in that small, fragile body. No hair etc.

I wish i could go back in time, of course I think most would. I am trying to

accept this that I cannot change. I am just not ready to yet.

Thanks again for all your support, I really need it, now more than ever. To

make things a 'little' harder. My boyfriends son has to move back in with him or

go to a boys prison. Because he is not safe to be around other children. He gets

out of jail on an assault charge on Monday, and my boyfriend has to move out,

because I cant have that kid in my home any more. I cant put my children at

risk.

He has lived with his mother for the last year, since I kicked him out of my

house for being violent with me and our animals.Thare is a long list of horrible

things he has done, and his father doesnt believe most of them. He is blind to

his son's issues. He needs anger management, and he is already in counseling,

see's a psychologist and has a probation officer, He is on several medications,

and we have tried everything we can think of to straighten the boy around.

Hopefully his father will turn him around, but that leaves me here, without

his emotional or financial support. I can financially do this on my own, things

will just be a little tighter, but we will manage. I just hope i dont have

another nervous breakdown in all this mess. Been there, done that, dont want to

do it again.

I am thankful for the support of my family and friends, They are all being so

great helping my mom my sis and I, I am also thankful for the support you all

give me. I will write more later, Angie