mom's playin the game

[Guest guest]

Man, my mom is good. Here is the latest:

SO, my sister was going to stay with me for the holidays while my mom

went down to SC to spend it with her brothers and sister. Susie

(sister) was going to go with her, but changed her mind to stay here

with me. Mom has been really acting up lately. not answering my

sisters calls because she " didn't feel like it " , saying how the

family thinks badly of her because she can't " control her children " .

Well, mom calls susie today and tell her how torn up she is about the

situation and blah blah blah. my sister has decided to make the trip

down with mom instead of staying here. I completely respect her

decision, and of course did not make her feel bad about it, but i did

try and caution her.

I told her that mom is acting semi-nice and sorry out of pure

desperation, because she IS losing control, that she is acting this

way out of manipulation. My sister has told me many times that she

doesn't want to go, so I'm sure she is only going now because mom

played the " guilt and manipulation game " with her during that phone

conversation.

I know my sister has the right to do what she wants, but i know she's

going to get hurt.

Don't get me wrong, im human, a small part of me wanted susie to stay

so I could be with her for Christmas, but more of me doesn't want

this vicious cycle to continue.

It's just amazing how clearly i can see the games NADA plays.

Also, NADA asked susie a lot of questions about me...including what

can she do to change the way things are. Susie said she just told

NADA if she wants to know anything about me she should just call me.

Which, I thought was a smart move on susie's part. Mom always talks

bad about one of us to the other. IT was for this reason my sister

and I didn't get along for a long time, i think.

I'm feeling really down about all this because yes, i was looking

forward to starting a new christmas tradition with my sister (and

best friend) and because i can't get mom out of my head. I keep

imagining what a phone conversation would be like with her. First

off, I'm pretty sure she won't DARE call me, because im the child,

and i need to be the one to show respect and call her first. And I

have no desire to initiate a conversation with her at all, because as

someone else put it, it's never a two way conversation, it is a

Monologue from my NADA. It would probably end up one of two ways:

1) she will patronize me and agree with everything i say just to

patronize me, to try and get me back under her control

2) she will blow up again and one of us will hang up on the other.

What do you guys think?

Gosh Im so angry at her. Now that im " outside the box " and not

enmeshed anymore, it is really strange to watch her do the

manipulating to my sister and not be able to do anything about it. It

is weird being so aware. (keep in mind, im not a veteran like some of

you other KO's are!).