Re: I couldn't believe my ears-

[Guest guest]

Can I throw in my own 2 cents here? My 16 year old daughter had a

major problem with my disability, my limitations and my medications.

About a year ago, she said some very hurtful things and do you know

what I did? I ignored her. I didn't speak to her unless it was

absolutely necessary. I didn't give her rides, except to school and

sports' practices.

Finally, after the 3rd day, she could take it no longer. She apologized and I

explained to her, for the millionth time, how the RSD affects my life and my

ability, or lack thereof, to do things, and why I need the medications that I

take.

Since then, I haven't had a problem. Some people think that was a very harsh

thing to do, but I just couldn't deal with a 15 year old know-it-all. She is now

much more sympathetic, not that I was looking for sympathy, and even asks if

there are things that she can do for me.

[Guest guest]

I too would like to throw in my own two cents. Could it be because your

daughter is angry because her mother isn't " normal " ?

WHen there is chronic illness the family, especially when it effects the

recognized caregiver (mom) kids get a feeling of confusion and

anxiety. " who is going it take care of me? "

Also, they may be dealing with fears of their own that " will this happen to me

one day? " Until children reach the age of 18 (or somewhere in that area) there

is a part of their brain that messes up the understanding of consequences and

sometimes they do not acknowledge the long term consequences of their actions.

People who don't have chronic pain, don't understand what those that do go

through each and every day. We all understand the way it wears you down-like a

clock being winding down. And maybe, as someone who really does care about you,

she is worried about you and doesn't know how to express that feeling.

Instead of taking it out on your daughter, maybe you need to talk to your neice

(with a " neutral " family member along to help manage the confrontation). She

sounds like she doesn't understand the situation (or chooses not to) and needs

to be educated.

Good luck with your daughter-it will be worth it in the long run.

L

[Guest guest]

I think your response to your daughter was VERY appropriate. Mental health

diagnosis aside, rudeness. Being demanding is just not acceptable behavior. They

need to know that, especially when they hurt and insult the very people who bend

over backwards for them. I've done the same at times.