Re: Newbie

[Guest guest]

Edited by moderator.

HI I never saw any of your post so I cannot say if you did something

wrong or not. If you did somehow reply to their personal email, they might

wonder why. It can happen.

Yes this (Yahoo's )email format is not the be you can change your membership

to have your mail to go to another Email account that is easier to navigate.

And have it go to the yahoo email also . If you use Yahoo a lot you can copy

and past from something like Word . I am using a Via Voice as I have a very

difficult time with fine motor skills. Yes part of an old accident then my

chainsaw accident

..

I did notice you are having trouble sleeping. Have you talked to your md.

about this I take Lunesta 3mg pil up to 3 of them on nights I cannot sleep

along with 2 mg of Ativan that seems to work. I know of people who believe

it or not use a barbiturate usually phenobarbital or phenobarbital

Phenobarbital is faster acting than any of the current sleep meds or

benzodiapines it might work well with a combo of Ambien CR or Clonopin or

Daizepam

..

If you can exercise as best you can I am not sure of your condition so I

cannot suggest much. though it you have neck pain avoid and thing the has

you

holding your neck in one position for a long time more than 15 minutes or so,

Another thing is to avoid exercising right before sleep it will actual make it

harder to sleep. A good book a o is great. tv is ok A book will help

activate more neurons as you have to use more to imagine the things you are

reading about. avoid alcohol at least 4 hours before sleep if not more

Best of luck

and please feel free to respond to others Rick

[Guest guest]

Hey, Sara -- welcome! I can recommend another great book --

" Understanding the Borderline Mother " ....It's eerie how on target

that book is!

You're fortunate that you're waking up to your mother's condition at

such a young age. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache by

learning all you can about it now, because I waited years and years,

ruined many a holiday and Christmas capitulating to the endless

emotional needs of my mother and my " dishrag dad " .

Don't feel bad for " lurking " -- speak up when you feel moved to.

I'm glad to know that this board is helping more than just those who

post.

I wish you well on this BPD roller coaster ride -- take good care of

yourself.

[hugs]

Kyla

>

> Hey all.

>

> My name is Sara, I'm 21 and I believe my mother has BPD. She was

> diagnosed with it when her and my father were going to marriage

> counseling about 5 years ago (?) but she doesn't accept the

diagnosis.

>

> I'm new at this. I'm not sure what to write. I don't really

> communicate with my mom much anymore. I've read SWOE but I think

I'll

> have to read it another 2 or 3 times to actually get all of the

> information in the book. My mom was the type of BP that didn't

have

> rages towards her children. I think I can remember one significant

> one where she threw a huge bag full of clothes at me (while she

was

> pregnant) because I wouldn't apologize to my brother. Other than

> that, I just chalked them all up to me talking back and her losing

> her temper. I don't know, do " normal " mothers get in yelling

fights

> with their daughters? And then ground them for three months at a

time?

>

> Well, I just thought I'd introduce myself. I was feeling bad for

> reading about everyone else's lives when no one knew who I was or

> that I was even reading. \

>

> Sara

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the welcome Kyla and I'll definately keep that book in

mind. I'm currently reading " Women Who Love Too Much " because of my

co-dependancy.

I'm actually feeling a bit guilty posting on a board like this about

my mother since I didn't really experience the full force of BPD like

I've read from other posters. Like, maybe my mother just has some of

the tendancies but isn't really BPD? However, I've always been the

type to feel guilty for, really, no reason at all and to be very

indecisive. I undermine my OWN thoughts. So, I'm not sure.

All I know is that BPD definately explains the questions I had as to

why my mom was so adamant on accusing my dad of molesting and

sodomizing my six year old sister. She made several police reports,

had social services interview all of us kids, and misinterpreted many

drawings that my little sister made. She said my sister was telling

her that daddy was doing bad things to her and now it makes sense. My

sister only wants to please my mom, so, of course she would tell her

what she wants to hear. It became so bad that my dad won full

physical custody and my mom was only allowed supervised visitation,

one day a week. If I wouldn't or couldn't be there to supervise, then

I didn't love her or Sydney. Only recently has my dad allowed Sydney

to go over to my mom's house, unsupervised, every other weekend.

My mom is on Lithium, which, I think, has helped out tremendously

with the guilt trips she used to make on me. She's started to

apologize for the things she's done when I was younger and says that

she knows she was a horrible mother. I disagree...I think my mom did

the best with what she had. She was high functioning...made dinner

almost every night kept the house clean, always had a job, etc. But

my parents were always fighting..I eventually tuned it all out and

don't remember what the majority of the fights were about. I was glad

when I discovered they were actually getting a divorce. They had

gotten seperated several times before then. I remember one night,

when I was sleeping on the couch (I had a room in the attic where it

was EXTREMELY hot in the summer, so I would sleep on the couch on the

really hot nights) my mom came out to sleep with me. Her and my dad

had just been fighting and all she said was " your father and I are

getting a divorce " . I didn't sleep very well that night. Of course,

they didn't actually decide on getting a divorce...my mom had decided

it for herself and decided to share it with her 13 year old daughter.

My dad was always the push-over. If we asked dad a question...his

answer would be " ask your mom " . He couldn't give an answer because if

he did, it would just be torn to shreds. I think my dad was the one

that receieved the brunt of the BPD and we didn't really see it all

that much.

I think I've rambled enough. I've just never been able to talk about

any of this with anyone else who has experienced these types of

things.

Thanks for anyone who read it all.

Sara

> >

> > Hey all.

> >

> > My name is Sara, I'm 21 and I believe my mother has BPD. She was

> > diagnosed with it when her and my father were going to marriage

> > counseling about 5 years ago (?) but she doesn't accept the

> diagnosis.

> >

> > I'm new at this. I'm not sure what to write. I don't really

> > communicate with my mom much anymore. I've read SWOE but I think

> I'll

> > have to read it another 2 or 3 times to actually get all of the

> > information in the book. My mom was the type of BP that didn't

> have

> > rages towards her children. I think I can remember one

significant

> > one where she threw a huge bag full of clothes at me (while she

> was

> > pregnant) because I wouldn't apologize to my brother. Other than

> > that, I just chalked them all up to me talking back and her

losing

> > her temper. I don't know, do " normal " mothers get in yelling

> fights

> > with their daughters? And then ground them for three months at a

> time?

> >

> > Well, I just thought I'd introduce myself. I was feeling bad for

> > reading about everyone else's lives when no one knew who I was or

> > that I was even reading. \

> >

> > Sara

> >

>