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Re: terminal cancer

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Dear Angie -

I'm so very sorry for your terrible news. I'm relieved to hear that

your mother's doctors are being compassionate and treating her pain

appropriately, however. I'm also glad for your sake that you are able

to be there for her - I know from experience that it makes a big

difference to both her and you.

Take care of yourself through this process as well as taking care of

your mom. You have my prayers and thoughts and best wishes.

Cheryl in AZ

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Angie -

I want to second Kaylene's suggestion to get your mother enrolled in

your hospital's hospice program as soon as possible. They have the

most incredible set of resources and people that can help both you and

her through this process.

Cheryl in AZ

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Angie wrote:

> My biggest concern right now is that she doesnt suffer. I

> am extremely sad and I dont know how to deal with this.

Angie,

I know from experience what your going through. My Dad died of liver

failure and I took care of him for months on end. You need to have

someone come in and give you a break. I know you don't want to leave

your mom but your going to need a friend or family member to help you

out.

My sister was unable, she had just lost her husband to cancer and had

a 6 year old daughter take care of. My mom had to work, so that Dad

could keep the insurance. So it was left up to me. My cousin would

come and sit with day for a couple of hours everyday and this gave me

time to go home (I live next door) and spend some time with my husband

and rest.

I would still be close by in case Debby needed me. And she did call me

a few times. She would not clean up dad. So she would call when he

had a accident. Poo from head to toe. She said that was not in her

job description .lol But that did not bother me. I did everything for

dad till the end until he went into ICU for the last time.

You really need system up where you will be able to rest and let your

pain meds work. Don't try to be Super Woman, You will only be hurting

your self in the long run.

You and Your family are in my prayers.

Carol

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Hi Angie,

I also agree with Kaylene and Cheryl. Hospice can help your mother

and also you in dealing with this. They have wonderful resources that

can help in all matters.

MY prayers are with you and your mother. I think the most important

thing you can do for her is be there with her comforting her and just

letting her know she is not alone. God Bless Fran

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Hi Angie,

I'm so sorry you and your mother are going through this. I lost my dad

to cancer 5 years ago. I lived across the country at the time and was

unable to help care for him myself. It was also his wish that we not be

the ones to care for him.

The women from the hospice that came to his house everyday and cared for

him were a godsend. Even after I was able to travel to be by his side, I

was grateful they were there. They took care of his physical needs and

co-ordinated with his doctors and the hospital. This allowed my brother

and I to spend his last days saying goodbye and grieving.

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Angie,

My heart goes out to you and your family as you struggle with your mother's

illness. It's going to be rough going for a while for you, but hopefully she'll

spend the time she has left without pain and surrounded by her loved ones.

Hospice can be a wonderful blessing, so please look into that. And please take

care of yourself, too.

Make sure you see your doc and get your meds. You won't be of any use to your

mother if you don't take care of yourself as well. And you know how moms are;

she wouldn't want you to jeopardize your health because of her.

Hugs,

a

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Angie,

I am so sorry to hear about the terrible news with

your mom. I will pray for her and your family. There is Hospice;

that comes in the home and sets things up. You might look into

that. My father-in-law had throat cancer and he had to have a total

larynjecgomy and then radiation.

Thankfully we still have him here. Just less a voice. Keep us posted

and I will keep praying. Take care & God Bless

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Angie,

I also agree with Kaylene, Cheryl and others who responded

Hospice can be a big help your to mother and you in

dealing with this time.

They have the resources that can help your mother's

final days be comfortable and hopefully as pain free

as possible.

My mother in law just passed last month and we found

the hospice nurses and staff a great help and some

good support for the family.

Good luck with everytime during this stressful time.

Jim

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