Re: Quotable Quotes: From the Mouths of BPD's

[Guest guest]

This phrase makes me physically ill: " well, I shouldn't HAVE to tell

you! I shouldn't have to ask you! "

Translated: If you REALLY LOVE ME you'd SEE/KNOW/INTUNE that the

carpet (dishes, laundry, bathroom, oil in my car, vegetable trays -

you name it) needed to be done. If you PAID ATTENTION TO ME you'd

see how stressed out I am taking care of YOU that *I* can't possibly

do these things on my own...

BLETCH!!!!

So... as an adult I figured I didn't have to tell any man (or

friend) what I needed/wanted/thought because, my God, if THEY LOVED

ME THEY'D KNOW... yep, that was a great game plan.

I've learned over the last few years (even before therapy) that

that's not realistic. People love you. If you need/want something

from them, those that love you will try (usually) to accomodate.

Now, please don't get all twitchy on this... doesn't mean you make

them prove their love by asking for horrendously huge things... but

if I need something from SO and he doesn't 'automatically do it'

(nor should he because I'm an autonomous self-sufficient woman) I

just ask him. Guess what, NOT A PROBLEM!!! He's more than willing,

ready, capable of helping with whatever I've asked...

What is it about BPD's that they think everyone is so honed in on

their needs, and it's a sign of failure on THE ENTIRE WORLD'S PART,

if the earth doesn't stop spinning every time they get a " hankering "

for something...? Anyone.... anyone.... anyone....

Lynnette

> > >

> > > ARRRRGHHHHHHH. " I shouldn't have to ask " and " I shouldn't have

to

> > tell you " are my hot spots. I would go ahead and do whatever I

> > thought needed to be done without direction and then got ripped

a

> new

> > one when I didn't do it " right "

> > > These and " OH just give it here " and I would have to surrender

> > whatever cleaning tool I had in my hand in order for her to show

> the

> > idiot how to do it.

> > > Just another day in Oz.

> > >

> > >

> > > Re: Quotable Quotes: From the

Mouths

> > of BPD's

> > >

> > >

> > > I guess the reason I can't think of any is my father tailors

his

> > > lies for every situation, they are very specific. The one he

has

> > > repeated twice that I find extremely offensive is his claim

that

> he

> > > and my mother 'sent' me to college, when I went on loans and

> > > scholarships. they drove me there in their car, yes, but that

is

> > the

> > > extent of their contribution to my college fees. And the

> initiative

> > > was completely mine as well, they could have cared less if I

went

> > or

> > > not. My sister was going to go and they moved away her what

would

> > > have been her junior year of college and convinced her to go

with

> > > them which I think was a mistake. She should have gone on and

> > > finished.

> > >

> > > My mother though...with her there is constant repetition. She

has

> > > always gotten in a rank and depressing mood while house-

cleaning

> > and

> > > moans and complains about it. When we as children told her to

> tell

> > > us what to do she copped a whiny attitude about that,

saying " I

> > > shouldn't have to ask " which at the time I believed but now I

> > > understand how kids are and that they need direction and

> parameters

> > > and instruction. MY father picked on me constantly while

growing

> up

> > > and when I would complain my mother would always say that I

> should

> > > greet him at the door with a smile on my face and put my arms

> > around

> > > his neck and say, " how was your day, Daddy? " or something like

> > that,

> > > and that when he made me wait on him, which he did because he

> knew

> > I

> > > hated it, she said I should jump up gratefully and bring

> everything

> > > to him with a smile. He loved humiliating me (still does) and

she

> > > absolutely refused to see it, instead she seemed to think I

> should

> > > act like some kid on 'father knows best' or something. I think

> her

> > > ideas about a 'normal' family must have come from 50's

television

> > > because she sure couldn't see what was going on in front of

her.

> > >

> > > anyway I started this post because I remember comedienne a

> > > Poundstone telling a joke once about her mother and how

someone

> > > would knocked a flintstone's glass off of the table and her

> mother

> > > shouted 'dammit, I can't have nice things'. This joke

resonated

> so

> > > much with me, that is my mother's monologue for the last 40

> years.

> > > Always the put-upon, martyr, the victim, the tragically

misused

> and

> > > unappreciated. I'm not saying there is no truth to it because

> > > raising kids is a one-way street, by design, but it gets so

> > > sickening to listen to after a while.

> > >

> > > __._,_..___

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> > topic

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[Guest guest]

Oh, yeah I have a lot.

" You should respect me. I am your father! "

(He has no respect for anything I do or say or the fact I am a grown

adult but because he contributed DNA I should automatically respect

him.)

" I am technically a genius. I have an IQ of 153 "

(Is that why you are unemployed living in a trailer on your parent's

property at 55? Seriously, get over yourself.)

" It is HIGHLY INSULTING and a BOUNDARY VIOLATION for you and/or my

family to interject themselves into something that is my decision. "

(Wow, this one kills me because he does not respect anyone's

boundaries but expects us to respect his so-called boundaries)

[Guest guest]

Oh here is one that happened just the day before yesterday. My brother was

caught attempting to steal medicine from my house AGAIN. Before he could

get out the door, my husband caught him. Of course we pressed charges and

upon nada learning about it she said

But I don't understand....how could he be charged, he didn't do anything

wrong! You got your medicine back, so what's the problem?

Upon walking away, she was sobbing and ferociously looking through the paper

saying " is his name in the paper, i don't know what i will do if his name

is in the paper, what will the neighbors think? " (probably the same thing

they though they other couple dozen times his name was in there)

Fada's reaction:

" How would you like it if I went down there and charged YOU?! " ...my reply

was " with what? " ....his response " with what, with what, well you'll see

what....now...we're not talking about it anymore! " (His way of having the

last word)...I replied " well...technically, we were never talking about it

to begin with.....I was talking to mom and you rudely interrupted " (my way

of having the last word...lol) His response " I SAID WE WEREN'T TALKING ABOUT

IT!...my response...well if you would stop responding the conversation would

be over, now wouldn't it?

After cleaning out her garage she left me a voicemail asking me to please go

door to door to all the neighbors to assure them that they were not moving

out. She was sure they would see her cleaning out her garage and they all

be would be terribly upset that she might be moving. She wanted me to do it

because she was sure they would all be so grief stricken, she couldn't bare

to see their sad faces. (and no...i didn't do it...i erased the message and

nothing was ever mentioned about it again)

And here is the gem of all gem's...and I literally thank GOD I had a witness

in the room that heard her say it.

" Oh, we're going to do so much to the house this summer...everyone in the

the neighborhood will think we are rich! They don't have to know the

truth...after all...it's all about appearance!

After basking in the glow of actually hearing her say the words, and having

a witness, I simply responded " yeah, and when you're house is the first to

be broken into, let me know how that worked out for you. "

She didn't get it then, and still doesn't get it now. (If you are going to

break into a house which house would you break into? The little one room

shack or the big house with the perfectly kept lawn that looks like a page

out of better homes and gardens)

> wow oh wow....Nada would say " You may have lost your father, but I

> lost MY husband " . As if your grief is not as important as hers.

>

> BLAH.

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Does your BPD habitually say things that are laughably ironic,

> > while

> > > > being blissfully unaware of their hilarity?

> > > >

> > > > Here are a few from my nada:

> > > >

> > > > " Love isn't only about money. "

> > > > (Remarkable, coming from a money-grubber like her.)

> > > >

> > > > " I'm an orphan. "

> > > > (She's 60 and her parents have been dead for 30 and 35 years.)

> > > >

> > > > " Can you believe that your brother is in his third year of law

> > > school? "

> > > > (*I* can. But I can't believe she's being supportive of him now

> > when

> > > > three years ago she was b1tching that he'd skip classes and

> waste

> > > his

> > > > tuition money. Not that she contributed a cent to his tuition.)

> > > >

> > > > That's all I can think of for now.

> > > > Do you have any gems?

> > > >

> > > > qwerty

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

>

>

--

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny