Re: Quotable Quotes: From the Mouths of BPD's

May 20, 2008

>

> Does your BPD habitually say things that are laughably ironic, while

> being blissfully unaware of their hilarity?

>

Qwerty-

I'm not sure these are ironic, but they amuse me none-the-less.

Here's a few of my Nada's classics:

" You know, death can come at any moment. "

(o.k. True. I don't even remember what we were talking about that

prompted her to say that. It was a conversation stopper.)

On a similarly optimistic note:

" You know breast cancer runs in my family. "

(Really mom...who else had it? Not her mother. Not her

grandmother. Not her half-sister. Not even one Aunt. She had one

cousin who was diagnosed 30 years ago, was treated and is still alive

today. But sure...go ahead and wring your hands for a week while you

wait on your annual mamogram results because it " runs " in the family.)

" EVERY secretary is after their boss for the MONEY. "

(Yes...I'm sure every secretary my father ever had was chasing after

his Fred Flintstone body because they wanted his money. It's a

wonder he's still with you!)

" It's always the WEALTHY people trying to save some money. "

(Mom...did you ever consider that's HOW they got wealthy? Is it a

CRIME to save money? The funniest part of this comment was it came

as we were driving around and she noticed these bigger homes with

skylights. To her, the skylights looked like solar panels...so these

WEALTHY people with their solar panels were being " thrifty. " Because

of course again, it is a crime to accumulate any savings or save on

your energy bill were these actual solar panels!?!)

" Your Father and I don't BELIEVE in drinking to get drunk. "

(Is there some Secret Order of Drunkards where you have to VOW to

ALWAYS drink to get drunk? How can you actually " believe " in

drinking to get drunk? Is there some new religion that I am unaware

of? Where can I sign up because talking to you makes me want to go

out and buy a case of beer!)

Those are just a few that came to mind.

JJFan

May 20, 2008

How about

" I'm worried that you might be a slut. " ( I was 15, completely clueless

about boys and she saw me hug the kid who had been my brother's best friend

since I was BORN. I took baths with him when I was little.)

" I'm worried that you might dance with a boy. " (this on my way to my first

ever outing with friends my age - i was 15!)

" I'm worried that you might be a cold bitch (for leaving your husband who

made you miserable). "

" I had to choose between supporting my friend in her divorce and supporting

you. I chose her. "

" Your dad is worried about -insert whatever her neurosis of the moment is,

usually sexual, but personalized to refer to me. "

" When are you going to give me grandchildren! " (screamed into the phone

after I say " I'm calling to tell you I just got out of the hospital

because my migraines, that she refused to take me to the doctor for, have

gotten out of control.)

" I know why you are angry with me. It is because I always loved your

brotherS (s indicates the brother who died at birth is included in this

statement) more than I EVER loved you. " (Actually, I was angry because she

was 2 hours late the last time I saw her before this.)

" Your new boyfriend is smarter than he looks. " (first phone conversation

after being NC for about 18 months, I was giving it another try and took my

boyfriend down for Christmas the day before this call. Needless to say I

hung up and haven't tried again.)

>

> One more...

>

> " Oh who is that guy, you know, the one who all the kids who smoked dope

> used to listen to. Oh you know...that acid rocker. "

> (Nada trying to remember the name of a recording artist. Yes...she

> REALLY narrowed it down with her description. But who do you think it

> was? You will NOT guess. Turns out it was !)

>

> JJFan

>

May 20, 2008

So many quotes, so little time! Loved this thread, only we KO's can see

the irony and it's good to have a giggle.

" I'm here for you "

(says this when I ask her a direct question, she dos not want to answer)

" I've been alone for the past ten years "

(has not been MARRIED for ten years but has had almost continuous live

in men within a week or so meeting them)

" You never know what's around the corner "

(having spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in about three years,

now has no money left and no way to pay the rent on expensive

waterfront rental home, absolutely no plan (no way she could now ever

possibly afford it anyway!) for this to continue. Yet I discussed this

consequence as a " worst case scenario " years ago and I offered

budgeting help etc to ensure she'd have enough money for the rest of

her life as she cannot work. The money went through the fingers on

gourmet food, alcohol, DVD's she never watched, clothes and shoes she

never wore and gave away) now she is that close to being homeless. I

have a spare room...my hussband wisely says no way (she has come onto

him sexually in the past, as with most men). Not to mention the

standard of our spare room, whilst pleasant, would not be up to her

waterfront apartmen standards. nor could she drink herself to oblivion

in my hose, play up, or play her " man games " ). I know she would hate

me " monitoring her " knowing who comes and goes and when she was drunk

etc, as she likes to keep this all hush hush so none knows she has a

problem (which of course we do know full well).

" I couldn't do that, that would be like being a protitute "

(Has no money whatsoever, has an elderly well to do gentleman widower

25 years her senior, apparently totally besotted and willing to marry

(rescue) her but she goes all waif and says that would make her a

prostitute. This coming from a woman who has had affairs her entire

life, generally, to improve her finanical position. She has worked very

little in her life, men have provided the daily $$$ in return for her

services. She is a good cook and immaculately tidy and proabbly keps

the interest going in the bedroom judging by the skimpy, sexy

undergarments she leaves drying on the rack, outside on her deck for

all to see (advertising).

I'm not trying to be nasty, just explaining the irony. After a year of

intense phsyco therapy I am now not controlled by my mother. I have

learned to manage her and " unhook " from her, without going NC. Most

communications are on my pleasant terms. She is not any better as such,

but I have put in boundaries that I can now live with and still have my

mother in my life to a degree, the nice mother part anyway. I feel so

much better for it. And being able to 'remove' myself form the

situation, I am able to " stand away " somewhat and look at her

upbringing and understand where this has come from and why, and

emphathise with her, for the abandoned little girl she was. She went

through things my children will never experience, backin another time,

when depressed woman were " put away " in mental assylums for many months

and their children farmed out to relatives of sometimes dubious

credibility (no plice checks in those days). So this littel four year

old, only child was stripped of her beloved mother for a year or more

and lived with a string of " uncles " and went to a string of schools. i

beleive she was sexally abused during this tme, but she eitehr does not

rmeember or denies this. So no wonder she is so stuffed up. yet I do

not have BPD and my sister did (she commited suicide).

My big drive with all of this is to be as knowlegable and aware as

possible of BPD and early childhood needs and development to ensure my

children are not BPD. And to keep myself, and my family happy and sane,

not be at the mercy of the waves that crash over my mothers head

regularly.

May 20, 2008

---

" Don't ever have children. It's the biggest mistake I ever made "

said to me (her own child, when I told her I wanted a child), and

also to at least one woman who was struggling with infertility.

In WTOAdultChildren1 , " maramawaiata " wrote:

>

> So many quotes, so little time! Loved this thread, only we KO's

can see

> the irony and it's good to have a giggle.

>

> " I'm here for you "

> (says this when I ask her a direct question, she dos not want to

answer)

>

> " I've been alone for the past ten years "

> (has not been MARRIED for ten years but has had almost continuous

live

> in men within a week or so meeting them)

>

> " You never know what's around the corner "

> (having spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in about three

years,

> now has no money left and no way to pay the rent on expensive

> waterfront rental home, absolutely no plan (no way she could now

ever

> possibly afford it anyway!) for this to continue. Yet I discussed

this

> consequence as a " worst case scenario " years ago and I offered

> budgeting help etc to ensure she'd have enough money for the rest

of

> her life as she cannot work. The money went through the fingers on

> gourmet food, alcohol, DVD's she never watched, clothes and shoes

she

> never wore and gave away) now she is that close to being homeless.

I

> have a spare room...my hussband wisely says no way (she has come

onto

> him sexually in the past, as with most men). Not to mention the

> standard of our spare room, whilst pleasant, would not be up to

her

> waterfront apartmen standards. nor could she drink herself to

oblivion

> in my hose, play up, or play her " man games " ). I know she would

hate

> me " monitoring her " knowing who comes and goes and when she was

drunk

> etc, as she likes to keep this all hush hush so none knows she has

a

> problem (which of course we do know full well).

>

> " I couldn't do that, that would be like being a protitute "

> (Has no money whatsoever, has an elderly well to do gentleman

widower

> 25 years her senior, apparently totally besotted and willing to

marry

> (rescue) her but she goes all waif and says that would make her a

> prostitute. This coming from a woman who has had affairs her

entire

> life, generally, to improve her finanical position. She has worked

very

> little in her life, men have provided the daily $$$ in return for

her

> services. She is a good cook and immaculately tidy and proabbly

keps

> the interest going in the bedroom judging by the skimpy, sexy

> undergarments she leaves drying on the rack, outside on her deck

for

> all to see (advertising).

>

> I'm not trying to be nasty, just explaining the irony. After a

year of

> intense phsyco therapy I am now not controlled by my mother. I

have

> learned to manage her and " unhook " from her, without going NC.

Most

> communications are on my pleasant terms. She is not any better as

such,

> but I have put in boundaries that I can now live with and still

have my

> mother in my life to a degree, the nice mother part anyway. I feel

so

> much better for it. And being able to 'remove' myself form the

> situation, I am able to " stand away " somewhat and look at her

> upbringing and understand where this has come from and why, and

> emphathise with her, for the abandoned little girl she was. She

went

> through things my children will never experience, backin another

time,

> when depressed woman were " put away " in mental assylums for many

months

> and their children farmed out to relatives of sometimes dubious

> credibility (no plice checks in those days). So this littel four

year

> old, only child was stripped of her beloved mother for a year or

more

> and lived with a string of " uncles " and went to a string of

schools. i

> beleive she was sexally abused during this tme, but she eitehr

does not

> rmeember or denies this. So no wonder she is so stuffed up. yet I

do

> not have BPD and my sister did (she commited suicide).

>

> My big drive with all of this is to be as knowlegable and aware as

> possible of BPD and early childhood needs and development to

ensure my

> children are not BPD. And to keep myself, and my family happy and

sane,

> not be at the mercy of the waves that crash over my mothers head

> regularly.

>

May 21, 2008

thanks for this post, reading it was enlightening. Because I have not

read " Understanding the Borderline Mother " would anyone be willing to

supply the name of the 'type' of borderline that is seductive toward

men and goes through many husbands and uses men for money? Is there a

type like this covered in this book? I recognize this both in my

almost ex-SIL, my present SIL's mother and possibly my present SIL

herself ('present' meaning she is married to my other brother). I

hear 'queen', 'waif', etc on here but I don't know if any of those

apply to the female who practices this mercenary sexual behavior. My

mother was not like this; no female relatives that I can think of in

our family are like this by any stretch, so it's so strange that my

brothers have brought women like this into the family. I guess I might

have to read that book; my fada is the bpd so I hadn't thought of

looking at it.

I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. I know words are not

adequate to express something like that but my heart goes out to you.

May 21, 2008

Wow, GS, that is some heavy and sick programming there. BPD's so

many times are extremely messed up around sexuality.

I haven't wanted to try to remember quotes, mine probably wouldn't

resonate here but there are some from my mother, even though my

father was the sicker one, that completely freaked me out, usually

having to do with the implication that my sister and I were somehow

innately sluts or going to turn out that way. I know realize

that 'slut' in their view means having a normal sexual response for

a teenager, and tht being 'good' in their eyes, or a 'good girl'

means being non-sexual and suppressing any and all sexual feelings.

I.e the virgin or nothing.

I remember being annoyed one day because I had to wear a slip and a

bra as a kid to go to church (I now know it's part of autistic

tendencies to have texture/clothing sensitivity) and I felt like I

was being swallowed alive by straps everywhere and asking my mother

can I just wear one or the other and her narrowing her eyes at me

and clenching her jaw and looking at me seemingly with all the

hatred she could muster and saying very slowly and coldly, " you're

SUPPOSED to WEAR a BRA. " Like that question meant I really just

wanted to go braless and flaunt my flat chest like the trollop I was

at age 13 or whatever. Things like that happened all the time, but

it was more her delivery than her actual words, which really aren't

funny or strange, more the way she said things that made me feel

like the scum of the earth instead of an innocent kid.

May 21, 2008

1. " Out HERE we call them plattle-lets. " (In response to my failed

attempt to correct her pronunciation of the word " platelets " .)

2. " He just went...away. " (After she had my cat put to sleep while

I was at college.)

3. " A little something just for me. " (Spoken on every shopping trip

where she had to buy something for someone else, when she'd

inevitably buy something for herself, as well.)

4. " I never get anything new. " (See #3)

>

> Wow, GS, that is some heavy and sick programming there. BPD's so

> many times are extremely messed up around sexuality.

>

> I haven't wanted to try to remember quotes, mine probably wouldn't

> resonate here but there are some from my mother, even though my

> father was the sicker one, that completely freaked me out, usually

> having to do with the implication that my sister and I were

somehow

> innately sluts or going to turn out that way. I know realize

> that 'slut' in their view means having a normal sexual response

for

> a teenager, and tht being 'good' in their eyes, or a 'good girl'

> means being non-sexual and suppressing any and all sexual

feelings.

> I.e the virgin or nothing.

>

> I remember being annoyed one day because I had to wear a slip and

a

> bra as a kid to go to church (I now know it's part of autistic

> tendencies to have texture/clothing sensitivity) and I felt like I

> was being swallowed alive by straps everywhere and asking my

mother

> can I just wear one or the other and her narrowing her eyes at me

> and clenching her jaw and looking at me seemingly with all the

> hatred she could muster and saying very slowly and coldly, " you're

> SUPPOSED to WEAR a BRA. " Like that question meant I really just

> wanted to go braless and flaunt my flat chest like the trollop I

was

> at age 13 or whatever. Things like that happened all the time, but

> it was more her delivery than her actual words, which really

aren't

> funny or strange, more the way she said things that made me feel

> like the scum of the earth instead of an innocent kid.

>

May 21, 2008

One of my favorite was when mine said, " Well, I had four autistic children "

This statement was completely made up and to show how tough her life was and

to show how unimportant my son's developmental issues were. All four of us kids

were smart and on the honor roll???

My nada would go around telling us, " I am very sick, I am diabetic and

hypoglycemic. "

The only problem is that these two disease cannot exist together and she

doesn't have either one. She would just invent illnesses she had.

qz wrote:

Does your BPD habitually say things that are laughably ironic, while

being blissfully unaware of their hilarity?

Here are a few from my nada:

" Love isn't only about money. "

(Remarkable, coming from a money-grubber like her.)

" I'm an orphan. "

(She's 60 and her parents have been dead for 30 and 35 years.)

" Can you believe that your brother is in his third year of law school? "

(*I* can. But I can't believe she's being supportive of him now when

three years ago she was b1tching that he'd skip classes and waste his

tuition money. Not that she contributed a cent to his tuition.)

That's all I can think of for now.

Do you have any gems?

qwerty

May 21, 2008

" You just don't know how sick I am!!!!! " (referring to her physical health

not mental ha ha)

" My body doesn't work like other people's. " (in response to any accurate

medical info)

" I have AllerGieSSSSS " (extremly nasal and phony, in response to being asked

to do anything)

" I haaave BronChitis " (see above)

And my favorite of all time

* " MORE BITTER THAN A SERPENT " S TOOTH IS IS TO HAVE A THANKLESS

CHILD!!!!! " *(screamed into my face when I was about 16. This is a line

from King Lear.

Funny part is he is talking about his good angelic daughter who he thinks is

against him even though she is the only one who is really on his side. The

other daughters tell him what he wants to hear to try to get his money.

Dunno why she pulled this out of her ass right after I finished a class on

Shakespeare. I laughed in her face but she still thought she was cool and

super knowledgable.)

>

> One of my favorite was when mine said, " Well, I had four autistic

> children "

> This statement was completely made up and to show how tough her life was

> and to show how unimportant my son's developmental issues were. All four of

> us kids were smart and on the honor roll???

>

> My nada would go around telling us, " I am very sick, I am diabetic and

> hypoglycemic. "

> The only problem is that these two disease cannot exist together and she

> doesn't have either one. She would just invent illnesses she had.

>

> qz <qwerty.zanderson@... <qwerty.zanderson%40gmail.com>> wrote:

> Does your BPD habitually say things that are laughably ironic, while

> being blissfully unaware of their hilarity?

>

> Here are a few from my nada:

>

> " Love isn't only about money. "

> (Remarkable, coming from a money-grubber like her.)

>

> " I'm an orphan. "

> (She's 60 and her parents have been dead for 30 and 35 years.)

>

> " Can you believe that your brother is in his third year of law school? "

> (*I* can. But I can't believe she's being supportive of him now when

> three years ago she was b1tching that he'd skip classes and waste his

> tuition money. Not that she contributed a cent to his tuition.)

>

> That's all I can think of for now.

> Do you have any gems?

>

> qwerty

>

May 21, 2008

Hah! I just saw a theater company do King Lear. Now I feel all SMRT and stuff.

;-)

Re: Quotable Quotes: From the Mouths of BPD's

" You just don't know how sick I am!!!!! " (referring to her physical health

not mental ha ha)

" My body doesn't work like other people's. " (in response to any accurate

medical info)

" I have AllerGieSSSSS " (extremly nasal and phony, in response to being asked

to do anything)

" I haaave BronChitis " (see above)

And my favorite of all time

* " MORE BITTER THAN A SERPENT " S TOOTH IS IS TO HAVE A THANKLESS

CHILD!!!!! " * (screamed into my face when I was about 16. This is a line

from King Lear.

Funny part is he is talking about his good angelic daughter who he thinks is

against him even though she is the only one who is really on his side. The

other daughters tell him what he wants to hear to try to get his money.

Dunno why she pulled this out of her ass right after I finished a class on

Shakespeare. I laughed in her face but she still thought she was cool and

super knowledgable. )

>

> One of my favorite was when mine said, " Well, I had four autistic

> children "

> This statement was completely made up and to show how tough her life was

> and to show how unimportant my son's developmental issues were. All four of

> us kids were smart and on the honor roll???

>

> My nada would go around telling us, " I am very sick, I am diabetic and

> hypoglycemic. "

> The only problem is that these two disease cannot exist together and she

> doesn't have either one. She would just invent illnesses she had..

>

> qz <qwerty.zanderson@ gmail.com <qwerty.zanderson% 40gmail.com> > wrote:

> Does your BPD habitually say things that are laughably ironic, while

> being blissfully unaware of their hilarity?

>

> Here are a few from my nada:

>

> " Love isn't only about money. "

> (Remarkable, coming from a money-grubber like her.)

>

> " I'm an orphan. "

> (She's 60 and her parents have been dead for 30 and 35 years.)

>

> " Can you believe that your brother is in his third year of law school? "

> (*I* can. But I can't believe she's being supportive of him now when

> three years ago she was b1tching that he'd skip classes and waste his

> tuition money. Not that she contributed a cent to his tuition.)

>

> That's all I can think of for now.

> Do you have any gems?

>

> qwerty

>

May 21, 2008

Ok, here are some of mine from my NADA:

" it's not about you!! The world doesn't revolve around you, SARA! "

(she said this anytime we were having any type of shit-

uation/argument.)

" you're gonna miss me when I'm gone " . (she said this one quite

often, beginning when we were small children...putting fear into us

that we couldn't exist without her. I often was scared of something

happening to her, and wondered what would happen to me if she was

gone)

" friends will come and go but family is always there " (she would say

this when ever i got close with someone outside of her, like a

friend. when she noticed that i was close with someone, she would

forbid me to be around them, saying they were a bad influence. what

an untrue statement).

" IM the MOTHER and YOU'RE the DAUGHTER! " (i heard this one almost

everyday. She had to make sure I knew what my place was in

life...small, insignificant, and subordinate).

Wow, remember all this is sure bringing back a flood of memories.

It's been a while since I've really posted on here. I might have to

post another one soon to get some things off my chest.

~Sara Jo

> > Does your BPD habitually say things that are laughably ironic,

while

> > being blissfully unaware of their hilarity?

> >

> > Here are a few from my nada:

> >

> > " Love isn't only about money. "

> > (Remarkable, coming from a money-grubber like her.)

> >

> > " I'm an orphan. "

> > (She's 60 and her parents have been dead for 30 and 35 years.)

> >

> > " Can you believe that your brother is in his third year of law

school? "

> > (*I* can. But I can't believe she's being supportive of him now

when

> > three years ago she was b1tching that he'd skip classes and

waste his

> > tuition money. Not that she contributed a cent to his tuition.)

> >

> > That's all I can think of for now.

> > Do you have any gems?

> >

> > qwerty

> >

May 21, 2008

Recently received the following email from my mother:

" Hi Guys, And to think you and Dad think that I was a crazy woman, so

crazy he had to hide everything from me….so sorry…but these are so

funny and I guess quite common, but I never even thought of doing

something like this…. Hope you are both doing okay… Love, mom "

The attachment included numerous pictures of defaced cars ( " F-U "

scratched on windsheilds, paint thrown on leather interiors) as well

as signs and posters that ex-wives had put up to " get back " at their

former spouses.

The funny thing is, while my mother never did any of those things,

she was victim to several similar things from my father's new SO.

The SO, *Joy*, would call my mom's workplace and state that my mother

was making harrassing phone calls from her office to my father, she

and my dad turned my mom into the IRS for tax fraud [to no avail] and

they even turned my mom into the post office for changing my dad's

address [correctly] so that we would no longer receive his mail.

But she thinks the attachment is funny. And that not doing those

things [while they're funny] qualifies her *lack* of craziness...

Confusing...

> Does your BPD habitually say things that are laughably

ironic, while

> being blissfully unaware of their hilarity?

>

> Here are a few from my nada:

>

> " Love isn't only about money. "

> (Remarkable, coming from a money-grubber like her.)

>

> " I'm an orphan. "

> (She's 60 and her parents have been dead for 30 and 35 years.)

>

> " Can you believe that your brother is in his third year of law

school? "

> (*I* can. But I can't believe she's being supportive of him now when

> three years ago she was b1tching that he'd skip classes and waste

his

> tuition money. Not that she contributed a cent to his tuition.)

>

> That's all I can think of for now.

> Do you have any gems?

>

> qwerty

>

May 21, 2008

(Hello all,...been doing alot of lurking lately.)

Oh yeah,...I heard ALOT of these. But I always had " another think

coming! " tacked onto the end of it. For example, " If you think I'm

your own personal doormat, young lady, you've got another think

coming! " Or, " If you think this is all about you, Sa-RAH (my name's

not but that's another story), then you've got another think

coming! " Another think coming,...well, yeah, doesn't that stand to

reason? Weird she used it as a threat like she had the ability to

shove it into my head forcibly.

Kindest regards,

Mercy

>

> Ok, here are some of mine from my NADA:

>

> " it's not about you!! The world doesn't revolve around you, SARA! "

> (she said this anytime we were having any type of shit-

> uation/argument.)

>

> " you're gonna miss me when I'm gone " . (she said this one quite

> often, beginning when we were small children...putting fear into us

> that we couldn't exist without her. I often was scared of something

> happening to her, and wondered what would happen to me if she was

> gone)

>

> " friends will come and go but family is always there " (she would

say

> this when ever i got close with someone outside of her, like a

> friend. when she noticed that i was close with someone, she would

> forbid me to be around them, saying they were a bad influence. what

> an untrue statement).

>

> " IM the MOTHER and YOU'RE the DAUGHTER! " (i heard this one almost

> everyday. She had to make sure I knew what my place was in

> life...small, insignificant, and subordinate).

May 21, 2008

Mercy,

my name actually is " sara " , and my NADA used to say it just like you

wrote it. " SA-RAH!!! " . I hated it.

> >

> > Ok, here are some of mine from my NADA:

> >

> > " it's not about you!! The world doesn't revolve around you,

SARA! "

> > (she said this anytime we were having any type of shit-

> > uation/argument.)

> >

> > " you're gonna miss me when I'm gone " . (she said this one quite

> > often, beginning when we were small children...putting fear into

us

> > that we couldn't exist without her. I often was scared of

something

> > happening to her, and wondered what would happen to me if she

was

> > gone)

> >

> > " friends will come and go but family is always there " (she would

> say

> > this when ever i got close with someone outside of her, like a

> > friend. when she noticed that i was close with someone, she

would

> > forbid me to be around them, saying they were a bad influence.

what

> > an untrue statement).

> >

> > " IM the MOTHER and YOU'RE the DAUGHTER! " (i heard this one

almost

> > everyday. She had to make sure I knew what my place was in

> > life...small, insignificant, and subordinate).

>

May 21, 2008

Hi Mercy, I was just thinking about you this morning!!! How are you.

" IM the MOTHER and YOU'RE the DAUGHTER! " (i heard this one almost

everyday. She had to make sure I knew what my place was in

life...small, insignificant, and subordinate).

My mother said this all the time. funny since I cleaned her bathroom, made

her food, kept track of her schedule, and even gave her money so she could

put $2 worth of gas in the car so she could get where she needed to go (I

forgot about the gas money thing til just now).

>

> (Hello all,...been doing alot of lurking lately.)

>

> Oh yeah,...I heard ALOT of these. But I always had " another think

> coming! " tacked onto the end of it. For example, " If you think I'm

> your own personal doormat, young lady, you've got another think

> coming! " Or, " If you think this is all about you, Sa-RAH (my name's

> not but that's another story), then you've got another think

> coming! " Another think coming,...well, yeah, doesn't that stand to

> reason? Weird she used it as a threat like she had the ability to

> shove it into my head forcibly.

>

> Kindest regards,

> Mercy

>

> >

> > Ok, here are some of mine from my NADA:

> >

> > " it's not about you!! The world doesn't revolve around you, SARA! "

> > (she said this anytime we were having any type of shit-

> > uation/argument.)

> >

> > " you're gonna miss me when I'm gone " . (she said this one quite

> > often, beginning when we were small children...putting fear into us

> > that we couldn't exist without her. I often was scared of something

> > happening to her, and wondered what would happen to me if she was

> > gone)

> >

> > " friends will come and go but family is always there " (she would

> say

> > this when ever i got close with someone outside of her, like a

> > friend. when she noticed that i was close with someone, she would

> > forbid me to be around them, saying they were a bad influence. what

> > an untrue statement).

> >

> > " IM the MOTHER and YOU'RE the DAUGHTER! " (i heard this one almost

> > everyday. She had to make sure I knew what my place was in

> > life...small, insignificant, and subordinate).

>

May 21, 2008

I think the technical term is " money grubbing ho. " Just kidding .

The behaviors you describe remind me of Histrionic Personality

Disorder, which is in the same cluster of disorders as BPD.

Here's a description:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histrionic_personality_disorder

On the other hand, these women might be queens who use sex to

manipulate the men around them.

My brothers have also married some real " winners. " Two of my three

sisters in law are probably BPD. The third one is the daughter of a

probable BPD mother and a very codependent father. She's easier to get

along with than the other SILs, but she's still very much affected by

her past.

People who don't self-analyze often repeat what they grew up with at home.

qwerty

>

> thanks for this post, reading it was enlightening. Because I have not

> read " Understanding the Borderline Mother " would anyone be willing to

> supply the name of the 'type' of borderline that is seductive toward

> men and goes through many husbands and uses men for money? Is there a

> type like this covered in this book? I recognize this both in my

> almost ex-SIL, my present SIL's mother and possibly my present SIL

> herself ('present' meaning she is married to my other brother). I

> hear 'queen', 'waif', etc on here but I don't know if any of those

> apply to the female who practices this mercenary sexual behavior. My

> mother was not like this; no female relatives that I can think of in

> our family are like this by any stretch, so it's so strange that my

> brothers have brought women like this into the family. I guess I might

> have to read that book; my fada is the bpd so I hadn't thought of

> looking at it.

May 21, 2008

The third one is the daughter of a

probable BPD mother and a very codependent father...but she's still very

much affected by

her past.

That's me!

>

> I think the technical term is " money grubbing ho. " Just kidding .

> The behaviors you describe remind me of Histrionic Personality

> Disorder, which is in the same cluster of disorders as BPD.

>

> Here's a description:

> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histrionic_personality_disorder

>

> On the other hand, these women might be queens who use sex to

> manipulate the men around them.

>

> My brothers have also married some real " winners. " Two of my three

> sisters in law are probably BPD. The third one is the daughter of a

> probable BPD mother and a very codependent father. She's easier to get

> along with than the other SILs, but she's still very much affected by

> her past.

>

> People who don't self-analyze often repeat what they grew up with at home.

>

> qwerty

>

> >

> > thanks for this post, reading it was enlightening. Because I have not

> > read " Understanding the Borderline Mother " would anyone be willing to

> > supply the name of the 'type' of borderline that is seductive toward

> > men and goes through many husbands and uses men for money? Is there a

> > type like this covered in this book? I recognize this both in my

> > almost ex-SIL, my present SIL's mother and possibly my present SIL

> > herself ('present' meaning she is married to my other brother). I

> > hear 'queen', 'waif', etc on here but I don't know if any of those

> > apply to the female who practices this mercenary sexual behavior. My

> > mother was not like this; no female relatives that I can think of in

> > our family are like this by any stretch, so it's so strange that my

> > brothers have brought women like this into the family. I guess I might

> > have to read that book; my fada is the bpd so I hadn't thought of

> > looking at it.

>

May 21, 2008

Just from what you have posted I suspect you have a Queen, or a bevy of Queens,

on your hands. Self centered and agressive, they demand that everyone kowtow to

them especially their men. Imperious is a word often associated with them. Joan

Crawford is the standard in this category if you need an example. Another is

probably Naomi the model who likes to throw cell phones and scream at

everyone. Spoiled and incapable of seeing the consequences of their own bad

behavior as well as being overly, or inappropriately, sexually agressive in

nature.

The waif is the polar opposite of this and demands attention by being

destructively inept.

This is just a thumbnail sketch. Hope it helps.