Deb R.

[Guest guest]

First of all Deb R. it sounds to me like your children do not believe you. Have your doctor pen a letter for you to send to each stating your condition and prognosis.

Now, how old are you grandchildren? My mother is quite large and ill, therefore she can barely even walk around her apartment. My and my sister's children still want to spend the night with Grandma Sandy all the time. Not my oldest so much anymore she's 11, but the younger ones do. They watch Disney movies, order pizza, or make simple stuff like mac & cheese, or sandwiches. (neither my sister or I expect my mom to feed them balanced full meals. Won't kill them for a weekend of Spaghetti O's ya know?) They sit around coloring or painting ceramics. She puts them in old t-shirts and doesn't care if they get the paint all over. It washes. They fight over who gets to go get her mail and they even help her clean. Sometimes, she'll give them a dollar to clean other times they just do it to do it.... There are activities that you can do with the grandchildren that won't kill you. Yes, it is long hours, but kids get used to whatever you show them. So, if you show them that grandma can't do alot they will except that and be happy with whatever you can do.

My mom has a lifeline, which I highly recommend you get, and all my children have been told how to use it and what to do if grandma doesn't get up or if she starts acting weird. If my mother or my kids call to come home, I am there (or hubby is) to get them within 20 minutes.

(by the way, I am estranged from my mother, so all of this is possible even without a close relationship)

Remember, YOU teach people how to treat you. Whatever YOU allow is acceptable, so YOU need to make it clear that this IS NOT ACCEPTABLE behavior from you daughters anymore.

Alenna --------------------------------------------------

Site Moderator for: fibromyalgia_support_group

Site Moderator and Co/Owner for: ncm_wisdom

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"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." Helen Keller (1880 - 1968)

[Guest guest]

DebR. and Alenna: I could not agree with Alenna more.. It is High time you put your foot Down with your girl's.. They are oldenough to know better.. You are letting them walk all over you and I am sure you did not raise them to act like that.. When they come to get the children you need to take them into a part of the house the children aren't in and make them sit down and listen to you.. and explain to them everything that is going on with you.. and you need to explain to them that you love your grand children but that you cannot be taking them all the time and doing for them because you are in pain and you have health problems.. let us know how everything goes and if you need anything let us know. Gentle Hug's Marie Marie A. Roomsburg pretty_n_cute2002@... marieava@...

[Guest guest]

I'm going the other way here. NOT that I agree that her kids shouldn't be told but I remember her saying that she wouldn't be able to see her grandchildren. That's a place that I'm sure she doesn't want to go and is deathly afraid of. My mother would wither and die if I took the kids from her. We just have to be careful here. We need to consider all the aspects. I am appauled that her daughters treat her that way!! It sickens me and I am in no way disagreeing with you that they need to know that what they are doing is wrong but; how does she do that without loosing the grandkids? Be careful where we tread.

Margaret,mom to the monsters

Re: Deb R.

DebR. and Alenna:

I could not agree with Alenna more.. It is High time you put your foot Down with your girl's.. They are oldenough to know better..

You are letting them walk all over you and I am sure you did not raise them to act like that..

When they come to get the children you need to take them into a part of the house the children aren't in and make them sit down and listen to you.. and explain to them everything that is going on with you..

and you need to explain to them that you love your grand children but that you cannot be taking them all the time and doing for them because you are in pain and you have health problems..

let us know how everything goes and if you need anything let us know.

Gentle Hug's

Marie

Marie A. Roomsburg

pretty_n_cute2002@...

marieava@...

1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the list as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check with your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as well as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is) pls don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make that situation better.Have a nice day everyone.