Am I successful or numb?

[Guest guest]

I am very LC with nada right now, basically I just send basic cards to

nada every once in awhile, and she emails me forwards. Anyways, since

it's the holidays, I thought I'd send Thanksgiving cards out to some

of the family. When I was signing theirs a second ago, I actually

signed my last name. Didn't think about it, didn't mean to, just did

it. Usually I just sign my husband and I's first names only, but I

don't know what came over me. I ONLY sign the last name if it's

someone who's really old and might be confused about who we are (we've

only been married a year and a half) or if it's someone we're not

close to. Well, nada's in her mid 40s, so she' definitely not old, so

I guess that puts her in the latter category. Wow. I was just

absolutely shocked that I involuntarily did this. So now I'm

wondering, is this a successful thing for me, like I've gotten to the

point where deep down I know and realize that we will never have that

" close " relationship? Or am I just so angry and numb that I just

signed it without thinking about it? I'm confused!

Just to clarify things, I just discovered that nada is probably a BP a

little over 3 months ago and have been LC for a little over 2.