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IRISH CONFESSION

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman. "

The priest asks, " Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy? "

" Yes, Father, it is. "

" And, who was the woman you were with? "

" I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her

reputation. "

" Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as

well

tell me now. Was it O'Malley? "

" I cannot say. "

" Was it ? "

" I'll never tell. "

" Was it Liz ? "

" I'm sorry, but I can't name her. "

" Was it ? "

" My lips are sealed. "

" Was it Fiona Mc, then? "

" Please, Father, I cannot tell you. "

The priest sighs in frustration. " You're a steadfast lad, Tommy

Shaughnessy! , and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must

atone.

You cannot attend church mass for three months. Be off with you

now. "

Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend slides over and

whispers,

" What'd you get? "

" Three month's vacation and five good leads! "

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