This Seems So Weird - Has Anyone Else Felt This Way?

October 29, 2007

Hi everyone,

I've been on these boards awhile now but haven't really posted much. I

get so much encouragement from reading everyone's posts though, I'm so

glad we've got this board.

Long story short, I'm 21 and have been married about a year and a

half. Nada has never been officially diagnosed with BPD, but after

reading SWOE and doing tons of research, I'm convinced she has at

least that, maybe more. I didn't ever really realize how crazy she can

be until I got out of the house and she continued to treat me like a

child and belittle me. I've been slowly standing up to her little by

little since I got married, and really started taking a stand and

refusing to let her walk all over myself and my husband in the last

few months. All of you who've been there know that they never take it

well, so now we aren't speaking. She has tried to call and email me,

but since her emails say things like " We forgive you because you're

not perfect, " I needed to limit contact. She yells and screams when

we're on the phone. She has asked my husband and I not to email her

anymore because it " complicates " things (long story - she told me she

thought my husband didn't like her and then proceeded to ignore his

emails that he sent to try to show her that the does like her). I'm

tired of getting screamed at every time I try to talk to her about

things, so I have set the boundary that contact can only be through

snail mail until she can prove herself capable of acting somewhat

dignified on the phone.

Anyways, I've just had this incredible urge to get rid of everything

she ever gave me. I mean, there's a few things from my childhood, or

like, family heirlooms, that I would never get rid of. The things that

I want to keep but just can't look at I'm sticking in a box up in the

attic. But seriously, there's dishes, picture frames, craft stuff,

house decorations, all kinds of stuff. She's the type of parent to try

to buy her way in so that she doesn't have to ever apologize or feel

bad for being such a horrible parent.

Anyways, has anyone else ever felt this way or gone through it? I've

given away so much stuff lately and have a whole trunk load to take to

Goodwill. I guess it's just my way of saying that it's my life and

she's not going to invade it anymore.

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