Re: My KO Holiday Challenge

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your challenge Sylvia!

I just wanted to let everyone know how taking up this challenge can

really change your life. A while back I just knew I couldn't be with

my family for the holidays. I felt like I was betraying myself after

everything I had been through to go back and spend time with them

during my precious vacation days.

I knew I couldn't be with them for ME. This was such a huge step, and

I received lots of support on this forum during that process.

After removing negative parental influence from my schedule, I knew I

created a space for something positive to come into my life. I didn't

know what, but I knew that something was going to come my way.

I thought and thought and thought... Would I plan a trip? Volunteer

somewhere? Spend it alone? Hang out with a friend's family?

Just the process of thinking what I wanted for MYSELF was libertaing

and totally new.... because I never really stopped and even asked this

question!

While watching a home video, I was reminded of how close I used to be

with my aunt and uncle before my nada vilified the heck out of them.

Well guess what? Now I'm going to their house for the upcoming

holiday, and they couldn't be more thrilled. It turns out they're

warm and caring in all the ways my nada and fada are fully incapable

of being. That whole basic " actually interested in what's going on in

my life in a healthy way " thing isn't missing.

The moral of the story is that as difficult as it is to cut old

baggage, there may be something new and wonderful around the corner

you may have never been able to anticipate before simply thinking

about what you wanted for YOU!

Viva la Holiday Challenge!!!

Genevieve

>

> Hello fellow KO listers! I am just reading some posts referencing

> dread of the holidays. I haven't had a holiday with nada in over

> three years, and for those years, I have had the most enjoyable

> holidays! They weren't fancy, sometimes dinner was late, not everyone

> could get together all at the same time, but we who were together

> enjoyed ourselves, and we didn't make anyone feel guilty for anything!

>

> Also, I have had to end some traditions because of going no contact -

> but that was better than the stress of being with my nada, or even the

> stress of THINKING of being with her.

>

> Here is my challenge for you. Plan to something that you WANT to do.

> Schedule a time to do it. And then - DO IT! Take at least this one

> step toward making the holidays an enjoyable and memorable ( or

> realaxing) time for you and for those you love and who love and care

> for you back!

>

> If you are so inclined, please post what you plan to do.

>

> Sylvia

>

[Guest guest]

Brilliant! Love this idea! I'll get right on it!

-Kyla

>

> Hello fellow KO listers! I am just reading some posts referencing

> dread of the holidays. I haven't had a holiday with nada in over

> three years, and for those years, I have had the most enjoyable

> holidays! They weren't fancy, sometimes dinner was late, not

everyone

> could get together all at the same time, but we who were together

> enjoyed ourselves, and we didn't make anyone feel guilty for

anything!

>

> Also, I have had to end some traditions because of going no

contact -

> but that was better than the stress of being with my nada, or even

the

> stress of THINKING of being with her.

>

> Here is my challenge for you. Plan to something that you WANT to

do.

> Schedule a time to do it. And then - DO IT! Take at least this

one

> step toward making the holidays an enjoyable and memorable ( or

> realaxing) time for you and for those you love and who love and

care

> for you back!

>

> If you are so inclined, please post what you plan to do.

>

> Sylvia

>

[Guest guest]

Yay, what fun!

I plan on making pies with my niece and nephew. I'll make the dough,

or maybe they can pour in the flour. Then I'll give them pieces of

dough to play with--they can roll it, or shape it, or do whatever they

like with it. I've got little disposable pie tins for them to use, and

different fillings. Last year I got them apples, berries, and

different kinds of chocolate chips (milk, white). After we bake their

creations, they get to eat them. It's really cute .

I guess I'm continuing a fun tradition I had with my dad. He always

prepared the Thanksgiving meal, as my mom said it was " his " holiday

(dad was American, mom is Israeli). I used to help him in the kitchen.

The pie making was my favorite part. He'd give me pieces of leftover

dough to make my own little pies. We had a great time.

I also plan to go shopping with my half-sister for cute things for the

kids, and just generally have fun.

qwerty

>

> Here is my challenge for you. Plan to something that you WANT to do.

> Schedule a time to do it. And then - DO IT! Take at least this one

> step toward making the holidays an enjoyable and memorable ( or

> realaxing) time for you and for those you love and who love and care

> for you back!

>

> If you are so inclined, please post what you plan to do.

>

> Sylvia

>

[Guest guest]

I appreciate you posting this. Learning to have fun again in ways that are not

hurtful to others and ourselves is so great! I still feel guilty when I catch

myself feeling just plain happy. I wait for something bad to happen, but I've

come a long way too.-- I have a wonderful sweetie, and our weekends are so

enjoyable. I enjoy the calm, the non drama, our caring for each other and

simple things, like appreciating what we have and also communicating when there

are little problems, in such a way that we actually relaay hear each other.

Your post had good energy!

Re: My KO Holiday Challenge

Yay, what fun!

I plan on making pies with my niece and nephew. I'll make the dough,

or maybe they can pour in the flour. Then I'll give them pieces of

dough to play with--they can roll it, or shape it, or do whatever they

like with it. I've got little disposable pie tins for them to use, and

different fillings. Last year I got them apples, berries, and

different kinds of chocolate chips (milk, white). After we bake their

creations, they get to eat them. It's really cute .

I guess I'm continuing a fun tradition I had with my dad. He always

prepared the Thanksgiving meal, as my mom said it was " his " holiday

(dad was American, mom is Israeli). I used to help him in the kitchen.

The pie making was my favorite part. He'd give me pieces of leftover

dough to make my own little pies. We had a great time.

I also plan to go shopping with my half-sister for cute things for the

kids, and just generally have fun.

qwerty

>

> Here is my challenge for you. Plan to something that you WANT to do.

> Schedule a time to do it. And then - DO IT! Take at least this one

> step toward making the holidays an enjoyable and memorable ( or

> realaxing) time for you and for those you love and who love and care

> for you back!

>

> If you are so inclined, please post what you plan to do.

>

> Sylvia

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Maureen! I'm glad for you and your sweetie. It sounds like you

have a great relationship.

qwerty

>

> I appreciate you posting this. Learning to have fun again in ways

that are not hurtful to others and ourselves is so great! I still

feel guilty when I catch myself feeling just plain happy. I wait for

something bad to happen, but I've come a long way too.-- I have a

wonderful sweetie, and our weekends are so enjoyable. I enjoy the

calm, the non drama, our caring for each other and simple things, like

appreciating what we have and also communicating when there are little

problems, in such a way that we actually relaay hear each other. Your

post had good energy!