workout report

[Guest guest]

ten minutes today. I missed yesterday because my schedule has been hectic. I've been fighting depression as well. I realized while watching "America's Next Top Model" ...there was a scene where this girl got sick, and they were talking about how in a previous episode when a girl got sick, she went ahead and did her shoot. They talked about how sickness there is sometimes a sign that the girl is too stressed by being in the contest, and doesn't want to be there. ...I realized that while I am going to have my bad days...I don't have to give in to it. I don't have to just "give up" and let the fatigue put me on the sofa watching T.V. (ironically, it was watching TV that reminded me of this truth.) The past few days have been days of fatigue, but not of the very worst kind. I've been sleeping a lot, and that has disrupted my routine more than anything. This fatigue is going to be part of my life. I need to just accept it, and then say, "okay, but I'm not going to let you stop my life and my dreams." Even tired, I can make it to my computer and keep on going. Feelings are just feelings, they aren't the truth. I make my own truth. And my truth is that I am a writer, still training...training to be the best that I can be. I may have said this before, and if so, I apologize for the repetition, but saying it...is to remind me that as long as I have breath in my body, I can still do this. I can still make the most of my life in my narrow little slice. I'm not going to be someone in New York, writing Broadway plays, or being a fancy designer or whatever. Butttt, I can be in my house in a tiny corner of Arkansas, living. Just that: Live. Live well.

This doesn't mean I'm not going to take care of myself. I do/am/will. However, I am choosing to refuse to let my disease dictate my life any longer.

Charlotte