Advice for Vicky

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Dear Vicky: First and foremost you need to get the depression treated. You absolutely cannot make good judgment calls while severely depressed. This may require anti-depressants meds and anxiety medication. If you are already on anti-depressants, you may need a change to a different one or even a couple of them. Only you can make the decision as to whether to keep fighting or not, but the time to make that decision is when your mind is clear of the depression. Ask yourself, how do I feel on my good days, do I still feel like giving up? If the answer is no, then you need to treat the depression first. When your depression has cleared, you may find you actually feel better physically. Depression manifests in many more ways physically than it does mentally. It increases anxiety, fears, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, pain (anywhere) headache, fatigue, lethargy etc etc. Dear, please

get your mind clear then make the decisions that are good for you. When you are not so depressed your daughter may be able to hear you as well. Hugs, CarolynLadyvic1@... wrote: HI all, This may seem long winded but its been on my mind for a while now. I think Carolyn's situation just made me look at my situation more seriously. To start with, for those of you that don't know I was diagnosed with IPF in April of 06. A lung biopsy also showed Pulmonary Hemosiderosis. Then in Oct, University of MI specialist said I also have Pulmonary Hypertension. He was quite frank, told me I wouldn't see Christmas 2007, that the deck is stacked against me, and that I probably wouldn't live long

enough to even lose the weight I needed to and even SEE if I qualified for a double lung and heart transplant. I see the heart specialist on the 23rd of this month, which I'm sure she'll want to do a heart cath. I also changed pulmonary drs at U of Mi, as I felt this character was so "negative" I couldn't handle seeing him again. Here's my situation. I'm going to see the heart dr and the new pulmonogist, BUT......if things are as bad as they say, I'm thinking about bringing in Hospice. I will say since June , my breathing is worse and my chest pain much more often. In Oct, the dr did tell me that I wet downhill drastically in just 3 months. I know if I call in Hospice, it rules out any work towards or chances of a transplant. But if I'm not gonna live long enough to even run the tests for one, why bother? My question is this, how can I convince my daughter who is 24 that this is what I want? She always says to me things like, " what about when you said you were

gonna fight this to the end , etc and why are you giving up?" She just doesn't understand the pain and exhaustion that goes along with this monster everyday. I will have 3 bad weeks, then maybe a good day. I see my friends starting new jobs in management and here I sit, planning my funeral or wondering, will I have enough energy to do laundry tomorrow? I'm just so tired, depressed a little but not horrible like I have been before. This disease has consumed my life, my thoughts, everything since I found out I had it. I try to live a normal life, but what's normal anymore? 31 pills a day, oxygen 24/7. Chest pain, back pain, weakness, exhaustion. I'm sorry I know I'm rambling on, but you guys are really the only ones that can relate and understand. So what do I do? With much love, Vicky81856