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You're Beautiful

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(NON-TEXT REMOVED)

> You're Beautiful

> ----------------

> There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after

> surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.

>

> His eyes fluttered open and he said, " You're beautiful! " and then he

> fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed

> by his side.

>

> A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said " You're

> cute! " Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of " beautiful "

> it was " cute. "

>

> She said, " What happened to 'beautiful'? "

>

> His reply was " The drugs are wearing off! "

>

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>

> 4 weeks

> -------

> A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of

> sudden death. " We will all die some day, " the leader of the

> discussion said, " and none of us really knows when, but if we did

> we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that

> inevitable event. " Everybody nodded their heads in agreement with

> this comment.

>

> " What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life

> remaining before your death, before your Great Judgment Day? " the

> leader asked the group.

>

> " For those 4 weeks, I would go out into my community and minister

> the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted Jesus into their

> lives. " one gentleman said.

>

> " A very admirable thing to do, " said the group leader. And all

> the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do.

>

> " For those 4 weeks, I would dedicate all of my remaining time to

> serving my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater

> conviction, " one lady said enthusiastically.

>

> " That's wonderful! " the group leader commented, and all the group

> members agreed that would be a very good thing to do.

>

> One gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly. " For those 4

> weeks, I would travel throughout the United States with my

> mother-in-law in a Ford Escort, and stay in a Motel 6 every

> night. "

>

> Everyone was puzzled by his answer. " Why would you do that? " the

> group leader asked.

>

> " Because, " the man smiled sarcastically, " it would be the longest

> 4 weeks of my life. "

>

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>

> The Famous Joke of the Day One Liner!

>

> Eat your spinach and you'll grow up big and strong like Popeye.

> You'll also end up with a girlfriend that looks like Olive Oyl.

>

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