Don and weather

March 8, 2009

Hi everyone,

The last two weeks have been a riot! Up and down.

I brought Don home several days, He was really good, and then would start

fussing that I don't love him if I didn't take him home every day. So, the way

to remind him, is to stay home altogether for a day or two, as talking

doesn't work. He is so glad to see me that he quits fussing.

I watch him play in his food of which he eats about half. He draws straight

or cris- cross lines on his napkin with his silverware. Today he was very

carefully tearing his napkin in strips. I asked what he needed it for and he

said he didn't know.

He does get dizzy a lot.

He didn't know how to use his tooth brush. I asked if I could help, and he

dutifully followed me into the bathroom. I put paste on his brush, and he took

it and brushed away, I said brush your tongue too, and he did. So he didn't

forget as long as the process was started for him.

When we go in the car and he gets out, he can't find the button to lock the

door.

I have to lock it manually as the car is a '96 and will blow the horn if

it's not locked manually. Anyway, I will tell him to lock the door. He starts

reaching to touch something, and I'll say no darling not that button. Push the

one up by the window.

He would touch the top edge of the door in a half dozen places, and I

finally asked him to go ahead and get out. After he is out I'll say Lock the

door.

And he'll reach in and lock the door. For some reason he is confused when in

the car, (too many buttons in view.) So I now wait until he is out, and then

say Lock the door. He is so slow and wobbly that he takes a long time getting

out. I haven't had to go around the car to help him out most of the time

yet, because he continues to hold onto the door for support until he has found

his legs.

He can't walk very much though. I put him in a wheel chair at Walmart, and

he dragged his feet. Oh mercy! Using up all my strength to push him. One foot

rest didn't work so, I asked him to prop both feet on the one foot rest. It

took about two minutes for his one foot to be dragging the floor again. I

couldn't push against that. " Darling pull your foot up. " He couldn't do that,

so

I lifted his foot probably five or six times, and put it back on the rest.

There was enough room, but he forgot. One thing he didn't forget was how to put

on the brakes. I tell you what, if he thought we were to close to someone,

or something, he put his feet down solid. We stopped so fast and hard I nearly

fell over him.

I couldn't find what I needed, so out of there I went, and took him back to

the nursing home. I announced he was here, and you all can have him, while

laughing with the nurses and him. It was a beautiful day to get out.

There was music at the NH three days last week, and I sang up a storm with

them, but I think Don was getting Cabin fever again, so Thursday I brought him

to the apartment. He slept like a baby. I did too on the recliner. When he

woke up he was totally disoriented for a few minutes, but he opened the

bedroom door and saw me, and everything was fine again.

Friday, I went the seventy miles to San , and ran some much needed

errands, forgot what I wanted most besides medicine from my pharmacy. So, I'll

have to make another trip. But, after Don had been out on Thursday he was

fine about my going to S.A. The main thing is to give him some respite from

being cooped in the NH 24/7.

I would go stir crazy from having to live like that all the time, if I was

able bodied enough to get out. And, I know Don is the same way, except he

can't reason. In his case actions speak louder than words. One time he was

fussing that I didn't love him, and I started telling him I love him with all my

heart. He sharply said, " Don't patronize me. "

There have been many things that strung me out with him, but I seem to put

them out of my mind. Later they'll pop up when something else happens that has

made everything too stressful.

But, right now, he is happy, the weather is beautiful, and trees are

blooming out all over the place.

Love a lot,

Imogene

**************Worried about job security? Check out the 5 safest jobs in a

recession.

(http://jobs.aol.com/gallery/growing-job-industries?ncid=emlcntuscare00000002)

March 9, 2009

Dearest Imogene,

I'm sorry, but I couldn't help, but smile. What a beautiful relationship you

two have. I can feel the love. Though it's not under the circumstances you

would like, I think it's beautiful!

I cherish the time I spend with my dad, which is everyday. Some days are not

very good, but other days are good and funny even. For example, the latest

thing with him is he wants me to bring him $20 so he can pay for his food at the

hospital. He says and does things that are funny and at first it would get me

so sad, but I've learned to cherish those moments now. I thank God for the

'funny' times I have with him.....if that makes any sense!

Sending you big hugs,

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> The last two weeks have been a riot! Up and down.

>

> I brought Don home several days, He was really good, and then would start

> fussing that I don't love him if I didn't take him home every day. So, the

way

> to remind him, is to stay home altogether for a day or two, as talking

> doesn't work. He is so glad to see me that he quits fussing.

>

> I watch him play in his food of which he eats about half. He draws straight

> or cris- cross lines on his napkin with his silverware. Today he was very

> carefully tearing his napkin in strips. I asked what he needed it for and he

> said he didn't know.

>

> He does get dizzy a lot.

>

> He didn't know how to use his tooth brush. I asked if I could help, and he

> dutifully followed me into the bathroom. I put paste on his brush, and he

took

> it and brushed away, I said brush your tongue too, and he did. So he didn't

> forget as long as the process was started for him.

>

> When we go in the car and he gets out, he can't find the button to lock the

> door.

> I have to lock it manually as the car is a '96 and will blow the horn if

> it's not locked manually. Anyway, I will tell him to lock the door. He starts

> reaching to touch something, and I'll say no darling not that button. Push

the

> one up by the window.

> He would touch the top edge of the door in a half dozen places, and I

> finally asked him to go ahead and get out. After he is out I'll say Lock the

door.

> And he'll reach in and lock the door. For some reason he is confused when in

> the car, (too many buttons in view.) So I now wait until he is out, and then

> say Lock the door. He is so slow and wobbly that he takes a long time getting

> out. I haven't had to go around the car to help him out most of the time

> yet, because he continues to hold onto the door for support until he has

found

> his legs.

>

> He can't walk very much though. I put him in a wheel chair at Walmart, and

> he dragged his feet. Oh mercy! Using up all my strength to push him. One foot

> rest didn't work so, I asked him to prop both feet on the one foot rest. It

> took about two minutes for his one foot to be dragging the floor again. I

> couldn't push against that. " Darling pull your foot up. " He couldn't do that,

so

> I lifted his foot probably five or six times, and put it back on the rest.

> There was enough room, but he forgot. One thing he didn't forget was how to

put

> on the brakes. I tell you what, if he thought we were to close to someone,

> or something, he put his feet down solid. We stopped so fast and hard I

nearly

> fell over him.

>

> I couldn't find what I needed, so out of there I went, and took him back to

> the nursing home. I announced he was here, and you all can have him, while

> laughing with the nurses and him. It was a beautiful day to get out.

>

> There was music at the NH three days last week, and I sang up a storm with

> them, but I think Don was getting Cabin fever again, so Thursday I brought

him

> to the apartment. He slept like a baby. I did too on the recliner. When he

> woke up he was totally disoriented for a few minutes, but he opened the

> bedroom door and saw me, and everything was fine again.

>

> Friday, I went the seventy miles to San , and ran some much needed

> errands, forgot what I wanted most besides medicine from my pharmacy. So,

I'll

> have to make another trip. But, after Don had been out on Thursday he was

> fine about my going to S.A. The main thing is to give him some respite from

> being cooped in the NH 24/7.

>

> I would go stir crazy from having to live like that all the time, if I was

> able bodied enough to get out. And, I know Don is the same way, except he

> can't reason. In his case actions speak louder than words. One time he was

> fussing that I didn't love him, and I started telling him I love him with all

my

> heart. He sharply said, " Don't patronize me. "

>

> There have been many things that strung me out with him, but I seem to put

> them out of my mind. Later they'll pop up when something else happens that

has

> made everything too stressful.

>

> But, right now, he is happy, the weather is beautiful, and trees are

> blooming out all over the place.

>

> Love a lot,

> Imogene

> **************Worried about job security? Check out the 5 safest jobs in a

> recession.

> (http://jobs.aol.com/gallery/growing-job-industries?ncid=emlcntuscare00000002)

>

March 9, 2009

Yes, dear , it makes all the sense in the world. We must learn to smile

at the things we can, so that we can stay sane ourselves. And we sure do

want to remain thankful for what we have.

And, yes, Don and I have a beautiful love, but I am trying not to hurt so

bad when I don't see him, or not to be in mourning all the time over loosing

him. So I try not think about it. That is how I am trying to loosen the tight

bond a bit, just so I don't hurt so much.

He wants money all the time. I'll give him a little and the next day it's

gone. Someone takes it. If I put it among his cards, then it stays a little

longer. He too asks me if I paid for lunch, or don't I have to pay for lunch.

Or, did I get the check for our lunch. I know using play money won't work as he

is too observant and is too lucid to try to fool him.

He is putting on weight. I am so glad. He went from a size 40 to a 34,

waist. Then back up to 36, now he is at 38. The pants I made over are too

small.

He still has a bunch of pants in my closet. Any size and I can fit him, except

38. He prefers pants with the elastic waist band now. The elastic is easy

for him to use. He wore dress Levi's all our married life until now. I need to

look on the WEB and find him some more good elastic waist pants, and hopefully

long enough.

I do take him lots of munching food. He has always been a nibbler, and loves

things to pop in his mouth. His favorite are mixed nuts with sun flower

seeds and raisins. I get cans of each and mix it in a large jar. Right now, he

has pop corn, nuts, candy, and cheetos. I wish I could put things like fruit. I

guess I could get him some dried fruit and see how he likes that. He does

get fruit in the NH at the meal.

, thank you for your sweet comment about our love. We are old but our

love is forever young.

Enjoy your Dad and tell us what is happening,

Love a lot,

Imogene

In a message dated 3/9/2009 4:29:26 PM Central Standard Time,

dsd1@... writes:

Dearest Imogene,

I'm sorry, but I couldn't help, but smile. What a beautiful relationship

you two have. I can feel the love. Though it's not under the

circumstances you would like, I think it's beautiful!

I cherish the time I spend with my dad, which is everyday. Some days are

not very good, but other days are good and funny even. For example, the latest

thing with him is he wants me to bring him $20 so he can pay for his food at

the hospital. He says and does things that are funny and at first it

would get me so sad, but I've learned to cherish those moments now. I thank

God

for the 'funny' times I have with him.....if that makes any sense!

Sending you big hugs,

**************Worried about job security? Check out the 5 safest jobs in a

recession.

(http://jobs.aol.com/gallery/growing-job-industries?ncid=emlcntuscare00000002)

March 9, 2009

, I'm not sure if your dad is at the stage where you could give him " play

money " instead of real. That has worked for a number of caregivers when their

los insisted on having money, only to find it goes missing.

It sounds like you have learned to enjoy the fun Lewy can offer in life. It is

there, just has to be discovered and appreciated as you are doing. There are so

many downsides. Appreciating the fun is a bonus.

> >

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> > The last two weeks have been a riot! Up and down.

> >

> > I brought Don home several days, He was really good, and then would start

> > fussing that I don't love him if I didn't take him home every day. So, the

way

> > to remind him, is to stay home altogether for a day or two, as talking

> > doesn't work. He is so glad to see me that he quits fussing.

> >

> > I watch him play in his food of which he eats about half. He draws straight

> > or cris- cross lines on his napkin with his silverware. Today he was very

> > carefully tearing his napkin in strips. I asked what he needed it for and

he

> > said he didn't know.

> >

> > He does get dizzy a lot.

> >

> > He didn't know how to use his tooth brush. I asked if I could help, and he

> > dutifully followed me into the bathroom. I put paste on his brush, and he

took

> > it and brushed away, I said brush your tongue too, and he did. So he didn't

> > forget as long as the process was started for him.

> >

> > When we go in the car and he gets out, he can't find the button to lock the

> > door.

> > I have to lock it manually as the car is a '96 and will blow the horn if

> > it's not locked manually. Anyway, I will tell him to lock the door. He

starts

> > reaching to touch something, and I'll say no darling not that button. Push

the

> > one up by the window.

> > He would touch the top edge of the door in a half dozen places, and I

> > finally asked him to go ahead and get out. After he is out I'll say Lock the

door.

> > And he'll reach in and lock the door. For some reason he is confused when

in

> > the car, (too many buttons in view.) So I now wait until he is out, and then

> > say Lock the door. He is so slow and wobbly that he takes a long time

getting

> > out. I haven't had to go around the car to help him out most of the time

> > yet, because he continues to hold onto the door for support until he has

found

> > his legs.

> >

> > He can't walk very much though. I put him in a wheel chair at Walmart, and

> > he dragged his feet. Oh mercy! Using up all my strength to push him. One

foot

> > rest didn't work so, I asked him to prop both feet on the one foot rest. It

> > took about two minutes for his one foot to be dragging the floor again. I

> > couldn't push against that. " Darling pull your foot up. " He couldn't do

that, so

> > I lifted his foot probably five or six times, and put it back on the rest.

> > There was enough room, but he forgot. One thing he didn't forget was how to

put

> > on the brakes. I tell you what, if he thought we were to close to someone,

> > or something, he put his feet down solid. We stopped so fast and hard I

nearly

> > fell over him.

> >

> > I couldn't find what I needed, so out of there I went, and took him back to

> > the nursing home. I announced he was here, and you all can have him, while

> > laughing with the nurses and him. It was a beautiful day to get out.

> >

> > There was music at the NH three days last week, and I sang up a storm with

> > them, but I think Don was getting Cabin fever again, so Thursday I brought

him

> > to the apartment. He slept like a baby. I did too on the recliner. When he

> > woke up he was totally disoriented for a few minutes, but he opened the

> > bedroom door and saw me, and everything was fine again.

> >

> > Friday, I went the seventy miles to San , and ran some much needed

> > errands, forgot what I wanted most besides medicine from my pharmacy. So,

I'll

> > have to make another trip. But, after Don had been out on Thursday he was

> > fine about my going to S.A. The main thing is to give him some respite from

> > being cooped in the NH 24/7.

> >

> > I would go stir crazy from having to live like that all the time, if I was

> > able bodied enough to get out. And, I know Don is the same way, except he

> > can't reason. In his case actions speak louder than words. One time he was

> > fussing that I didn't love him, and I started telling him I love him with

all my

> > heart. He sharply said, " Don't patronize me. "

> >

> > There have been many things that strung me out with him, but I seem to put

> > them out of my mind. Later they'll pop up when something else happens that

has

> > made everything too stressful.

> >

> > But, right now, he is happy, the weather is beautiful, and trees are

> > blooming out all over the place.

> >

> > Love a lot,

> > Imogene

> > **************Worried about job security? Check out the 5 safest jobs in a

> > recession.

> >

(http://jobs.aol.com/gallery/growing-job-industries?ncid=emlcntuscare00000002)

> >

March 9, 2009

Dearest ,

I do appreciate the 'funny' times, but there have been times that have been very

difficult! Tonight was one of those times. I can usually understand what he

says, but tonight no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't understand ANYTHING! It

was frustrating for him, as well! I would throw words out there to see if I

would get it right and he would just get upset with me. So at one point I would

agree with him or nod my head and he would say " WELL? " (The only word I DID

understand) I would say to myself OH MY GOODNESS HE ASKED ME A QUESTION AND

HE'S EXPECTING AN ANSWER AND HOW CAN I ANSWER IF I HAVEN'T A CLUE WHAT HE'S

SAYING??? Needless to say, when I came out of the hospital I started boo-hoing

like a fool! It can be a little overwhelming at times! That, paired with the

news his doctor gave me today I just broke down. He said that he's tried calling

all the NH in Manhattan (County where I live) and can't get him in because

there's a waiting list everywhere. And they're discharging him on Wednesday! The

only one that accepted him is in the Bronx, very far away from me! I don't have

a car so I'll be traveling over an hour to get there and over an hour to get

back. I work full time so I'll be spending more time on the train than with my

dad! I put my dad to bed every night and looks forward to that. The nurses tell

me my dad calls for me all day and when he sees me he gets happy.

I hadn't thought of play money. That is a great idea! When he kept insisting

on the money to pay for his food I tried explaining not to worry because the

insurance paid for it, but he didn't understand so I ended up telling him that I

already paid them and he was okay with that.

Thanks so much for your suggestion!

Big hugs,

> > >

> > > Hi everyone,

> > >

> > > The last two weeks have been a riot! Up and down.

> > >

> > > I brought Don home several days, He was really good, and then would start

> > > fussing that I don't love him if I didn't take him home every day. So, the

way

> > > to remind him, is to stay home altogether for a day or two, as talking

> > > doesn't work. He is so glad to see me that he quits fussing.

> > >

> > > I watch him play in his food of which he eats about half. He draws

straight

> > > or cris- cross lines on his napkin with his silverware. Today he was very

> > > carefully tearing his napkin in strips. I asked what he needed it for and

he

> > > said he didn't know.

> > >

> > > He does get dizzy a lot.

> > >

> > > He didn't know how to use his tooth brush. I asked if I could help, and

he

> > > dutifully followed me into the bathroom. I put paste on his brush, and he

took

> > > it and brushed away, I said brush your tongue too, and he did. So he

didn't

> > > forget as long as the process was started for him.

> > >

> > > When we go in the car and he gets out, he can't find the button to lock

the

> > > door.

> > > I have to lock it manually as the car is a '96 and will blow the horn if

> > > it's not locked manually. Anyway, I will tell him to lock the door. He

starts

> > > reaching to touch something, and I'll say no darling not that button.

Push the

> > > one up by the window.

> > > He would touch the top edge of the door in a half dozen places, and I

> > > finally asked him to go ahead and get out. After he is out I'll say Lock

the door.

> > > And he'll reach in and lock the door. For some reason he is confused when

in

> > > the car, (too many buttons in view.) So I now wait until he is out, and

then

> > > say Lock the door. He is so slow and wobbly that he takes a long time

getting

> > > out. I haven't had to go around the car to help him out most of the time

> > > yet, because he continues to hold onto the door for support until he has

found

> > > his legs.

> > >

> > > He can't walk very much though. I put him in a wheel chair at Walmart,

and

> > > he dragged his feet. Oh mercy! Using up all my strength to push him. One

foot

> > > rest didn't work so, I asked him to prop both feet on the one foot rest.

It

> > > took about two minutes for his one foot to be dragging the floor again. I

> > > couldn't push against that. " Darling pull your foot up. " He couldn't do

that, so

> > > I lifted his foot probably five or six times, and put it back on the

rest.

> > > There was enough room, but he forgot. One thing he didn't forget was how

to put

> > > on the brakes. I tell you what, if he thought we were to close to

someone,

> > > or something, he put his feet down solid. We stopped so fast and hard I

nearly

> > > fell over him.

> > >

> > > I couldn't find what I needed, so out of there I went, and took him back

to

> > > the nursing home. I announced he was here, and you all can have him,

while

> > > laughing with the nurses and him. It was a beautiful day to get out.

> > >

> > > There was music at the NH three days last week, and I sang up a storm

with

> > > them, but I think Don was getting Cabin fever again, so Thursday I

brought him

> > > to the apartment. He slept like a baby. I did too on the recliner. When

he

> > > woke up he was totally disoriented for a few minutes, but he opened the

> > > bedroom door and saw me, and everything was fine again.

> > >

> > > Friday, I went the seventy miles to San , and ran some much needed

> > > errands, forgot what I wanted most besides medicine from my pharmacy. So,

I'll

> > > have to make another trip. But, after Don had been out on Thursday he was

> > > fine about my going to S.A. The main thing is to give him some respite

from

> > > being cooped in the NH 24/7.

> > >

> > > I would go stir crazy from having to live like that all the time, if I

was

> > > able bodied enough to get out. And, I know Don is the same way, except he

> > > can't reason. In his case actions speak louder than words. One time he was

> > > fussing that I didn't love him, and I started telling him I love him with

all my

> > > heart. He sharply said, " Don't patronize me. "

> > >

> > > There have been many things that strung me out with him, but I seem to

put

> > > them out of my mind. Later they'll pop up when something else happens

that has

> > > made everything too stressful.

> > >

> > > But, right now, he is happy, the weather is beautiful, and trees are

> > > blooming out all over the place.

> > >

> > > Love a lot,

> > > Imogene

> > > **************Worried about job security? Check out the 5 safest jobs in a

> > > recession.

> > >

(http://jobs.aol.com/gallery/growing-job-industries?ncid=emlcntuscare00000002)

> > >

March 9, 2009

,

I would push the hospital a little. They can't legally discharge him until they

have a place to put him. And it should be somewhat agreeable with you.

I would ask them to try a bit harder as it would cause a hardship on you with no

car.

And people die everyday at those places. Ask them to try a bit harder and maybe

even keep him at the hospital a few more days if necessary.

You might want to get the Social Worker at the hospital involved. Let her know

this is just not ok with you.

You might not get far, but it is worth a try.

And it is very hard to get him moved once he is in there. And you might also

try asking them to place him temp. until a place opens up.

Just my thought. Have you checked the place out that they want to send him too?

Let them know you aren't very happy with it if you can for any other reasons you

might find. They really have a lot more influence than you have with the nhs.

Hugs,

Donna R

Caregiver for Mom for 3

years and 4th year in a nh.

(In MI)

She was almost 89 when she

died in '02. No dx other

than mine.

Re: Don and weather