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Re: NH / Caregiver ???

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Poor April,

Can they be rude? Oy Vey! (if I was Yiddish) Honey, they can cut anyone up

one side and go down the other doing the same thing. They can make wall paper

peal.

Sounds as if she has paranoia along with some grandiose idea about herself

as part of her LBD. The nurses see it all.

Crying a lot is something they do well, and wanting to go home is the no 1

complaint. You poor dear. We are with you on this terrible journey.

I sure am sorry she fell out of bed. I wonder what they will do to head that

off in the future. You might request that her bed be lowered. It may not do

any good because it inconveniences the nurses. If they don't use restraints

then they will use drugs. Look into that carefully.

Your poor Mother! I do feel for you too.

Love a lot,

Imogene

In a message dated 2/7/2009 6:31:35 PM Central Standard Time,

bowena@... writes:

HI, My mom has really been complaining about the nurses at the nursing

home. She did this at the last NH also. I just moved her to a NH in

the same town as me sot that I can oversee her care better. When they

don't give her what she requests immediately, she tells them that she

is important and that they should take better care of her, etc. A lot

of the nurses don't understand this aspect of LBD. It seems that some

of them take it personally (she can say things that are fairly rude).

They see her walking around (while others are in a wheelchair) and

don't realize how this is really affecting her. She has tremendous

difficulty sitting and rising, dressing, visual fluctuations,

difficulty eating, etc. How do you handle situations like this? Does

your LO act rude to the nurses and accuse them of not taking care of

them, and want their requests taken care of immediately? She also

cries a lot and states that she wants to go home.

Last night she tried to get out of bed by herself to go to the

bathroom and lost her balance. We were at the hospital ER from 12:00

to 4:30 am. She had a tremendous goose egg on her temple, eyes are

black today, a goose egg the size of a baseball on one leg, a swollen

knee on the other, and a bruised shoulder - but no broken bones, thank

God.

April

**************Nothing says I love you like flowers! Find a florist near you

now. (http://yellowpages.aol.com/search?query=florist & ncid=emlcntusyelp00000001)

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My mother has told me that the staff are mean to her, that they make her

hang curtains and paint walls, that they are stealing her

clothes/jewelry/music books/whatever, that they tell her to sit down and

shut up, etc. She also tells them that I don't care about her, that I just

put her in there so I could have her money (she was over $100k in debt when

she went in, there was/is no money!), that I don't see to her needs, etc.

It is part of the disease. Problem with that is, if anything ever DID

happen with the staff, I wouldn't believe her.

She does get snippy with the staff at times, and treats them like paid

servants. She also gets downright bitchy with me at times although mostly

to others. (She made the mistake of getting bitchy about me to my husband

once - just once, and he...er...gave her the facts in no uncertain terms.)

His,

Sherry

www.owly.net

daughter of , (mis?)diagnosed with AD in 2005, descent slowed by

Aricept; diagnosed with LBD March 2008, in a wonderful NH 1/2 mile from my

house. We're learning to live with Lewy...

----- Original Message -----

> HI, My mom has really been complaining about the nurses at the nursing

> home. She did this at the last NH also. I just moved her to a NH in

> the same town as me sot that I can oversee her care better. When they

> don't give her what she requests immediately, she tells them that she

> is important and that they should take better care of her, etc. A lot

> of the nurses don't understand this aspect of LBD. It seems that some

> of them take it personally (she can say things that are fairly rude).

> They see her walking around (while others are in a wheelchair) and

> don't realize how this is really affecting her. She has tremendous

> difficulty sitting and rising, dressing, visual fluctuations,

> difficulty eating, etc. How do you handle situations like this? Does

> your LO act rude to the nurses and accuse them of not taking care of

> them, and want their requests taken care of immediately? She also

> cries a lot and states that she wants to go home.

>

> Last night she tried to get out of bed by herself to go to the

> bathroom and lost her balance. We were at the hospital ER from 12:00

> to 4:30 am. She had a tremendous goose egg on her temple, eyes are

> black today, a goose egg the size of a baseball on one leg, a swollen

> knee on the other, and a bruised shoulder - but no broken bones, thank

> God.

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I keep seeing these devices that you put in the bed and when your LO

get up it sounds an alarm. Now why can't that technology be put to

work in NH and care facilities? I would think that using things like

that would not only help the care providers but also help limit

insurance claims. Anyone else think this is a needed improvement?

Sherry in CO

>

>

> Poor April,

>

> Can they be rude? Oy Vey! (if I was Yiddish) Honey, they can cut

anyone up

> one side and go down the other doing the same thing. They can make

wall paper

> peal.

> Sounds as if she has paranoia along with some grandiose idea about

herself

> as part of her LBD. The nurses see it all.

>

> Crying a lot is something they do well, and wanting to go home is

the no 1

> complaint. You poor dear. We are with you on this terrible journey.

>

> I sure am sorry she fell out of bed. I wonder what they will do to

head that

> off in the future. You might request that her bed be lowered. It

may not do

> any good because it inconveniences the nurses. If they don't use

restraints

> then they will use drugs. Look into that carefully.

>

> Your poor Mother! I do feel for you too.

> Love a lot,

> Imogene

>

>

>

> In a message dated 2/7/2009 6:31:35 PM Central Standard Time,

> bowena@... writes:

>

> HI, My mom has really been complaining about the nurses at the

nursing

> home. She did this at the last NH also. I just moved her to a NH in

> the same town as me sot that I can oversee her care better. When

they

> don't give her what she requests immediately, she tells them that

she

> is important and that they should take better care of her, etc. A

lot

> of the nurses don't understand this aspect of LBD. It seems that

some

> of them take it personally (she can say things that are fairly

rude).

> They see her walking around (while others are in a wheelchair) and

> don't realize how this is really affecting her. She has tremendous

> difficulty sitting and rising, dressing, visual fluctuations,

> difficulty eating, etc. How do you handle situations like this?

Does

> your LO act rude to the nurses and accuse them of not taking care

of

> them, and want their requests taken care of immediately? She also

> cries a lot and states that she wants to go home.

>

> Last night she tried to get out of bed by herself to go to the

> bathroom and lost her balance. We were at the hospital ER from

12:00

> to 4:30 am. She had a tremendous goose egg on her temple, eyes are

> black today, a goose egg the size of a baseball on one leg, a

swollen

> knee on the other, and a bruised shoulder - but no broken bones,

thank

> God.

>

> April

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> **************Nothing says I love you like flowers! Find a florist

near you

> now. (http://yellowpages.aol.com/search?

query=florist & ncid=emlcntusyelp00000001)

>

>

>

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Sherry:  Around here, they are used in all the NHs, hospitals, and rehab

centers.  My husband was in rehab, hospital, and NH, and they all had them. 

They are used to keep from liability if there are falls and injuries.  June C.

Subject: Re: NH / Caregiver ???

To: LBDcaregivers

Date: Saturday, February 7, 2009, 9:09 PM

I keep seeing these devices that you put in the bed and when your LO

get up it sounds an alarm. Now why can't that technology be put to

work in NH and care facilities? I would think that using things like

that would not only help the care providers but also help limit

insurance claims. Anyone else think this is a needed improvement?

Sherry in CO

>

>

> Poor April,

>

> Can they be rude? Oy Vey! (if I was Yiddish) Honey, they can cut

anyone up

> one side and go down the other doing the same thing. They can make

wall paper

> peal.

> Sounds as if she has paranoia along with some grandiose idea about

herself

> as part of her LBD. The nurses see it all.

>

> Crying a lot is something they do well, and wanting to go home is

the no 1

> complaint. You poor dear. We are with you on this terrible journey.

>

> I sure am sorry she fell out of bed. I wonder what they will do to

head that

> off in the future. You might request that her bed be lowered. It

may not do

> any good because it inconveniences the nurses. If they don't use

restraints

> then they will use drugs. Look into that carefully.

>

> Your poor Mother! I do feel for you too.

> Love a lot,

> Imogene

>

>

>

> In a message dated 2/7/2009 6:31:35 PM Central Standard Time,

> bowena@... writes:

>

> HI, My mom has really been complaining about the nurses at the

nursing

> home. She did this at the last NH also. I just moved her to a NH in

> the same town as me sot that I can oversee her care better. When

they

> don't give her what she requests immediately, she tells them that

she

> is important and that they should take better care of her, etc. A

lot

> of the nurses don't understand this aspect of LBD. It seems that

some

> of them take it personally (she can say things that are fairly

rude).

> They see her walking around (while others are in a wheelchair) and

> don't realize how this is really affecting her. She has tremendous

> difficulty sitting and rising, dressing, visual fluctuations,

> difficulty eating, etc. How do you handle situations like this?

Does

> your LO act rude to the nurses and accuse them of not taking care

of

> them, and want their requests taken care of immediately? She also

> cries a lot and states that she wants to go home.

>

> Last night she tried to get out of bed by herself to go to the

> bathroom and lost her balance. We were at the hospital ER from

12:00

> to 4:30 am. She had a tremendous goose egg on her temple, eyes are

> black today, a goose egg the size of a baseball on one leg, a

swollen

> knee on the other, and a bruised shoulder - but no broken bones,

thank

> God.

>

> April

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ************ **Nothing says I love you like flowers! Find a florist

near you

> now. (http://yellowpages. aol.com/search?

query=florist & ncid=emlcntusyel p00000001)

>

>

>

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Sherry,

They did use the bed alarms down here in Southern MI at the nh Mom was at. Not

that it did any good. We would hear alarms going all the time and caregivers at

the nh didn't attend them.

Hugs,

Donna R

Caregiver for Mom for 3

years and 4th year in a nh.

(In MI)

She was almost 89 when she

died in '02. No dx other

than mine.

Re: NH / Caregiver ???

I keep seeing these devices that you put in the bed and when your LO

get up it sounds an alarm. Now why can't that technology be put to

work in NH and care facilities? I would think that using things like

that would not only help the care providers but also help limit

insurance claims. Anyone else think this is a needed improvement?

Sherry in CO

>

>

> Poor April,

>

> Can they be rude? Oy Vey! (if I was Yiddish) Honey, they can cut

anyone up

> one side and go down the other doing the same thing. They can make

wall paper

> peal.

> Sounds as if she has paranoia along with some grandiose idea about

herself

> as part of her LBD. The nurses see it all.

>

> Crying a lot is something they do well, and wanting to go home is

the no 1

> complaint. You poor dear. We are with you on this terrible journey.

>

> I sure am sorry she fell out of bed. I wonder what they will do to

head that

> off in the future. You might request that her bed be lowered. It

may not do

> any good because it inconveniences the nurses. If they don't use

restraints

> then they will use drugs. Look into that carefully.

>

> Your poor Mother! I do feel for you too.

> Love a lot,

> Imogene

>

>

>

> In a message dated 2/7/2009 6:31:35 PM Central Standard Time,

> bowena@... writes:

>

> HI, My mom has really been complaining about the nurses at the

nursing

> home. She did this at the last NH also. I just moved her to a NH in

> the same town as me sot that I can oversee her care better. When

they

> don't give her what she requests immediately, she tells them that

she

> is important and that they should take better care of her, etc. A

lot

> of the nurses don't understand this aspect of LBD. It seems that

some

> of them take it personally (she can say things that are fairly

rude).

> They see her walking around (while others are in a wheelchair) and

> don't realize how this is really affecting her. She has tremendous

> difficulty sitting and rising, dressing, visual fluctuations,

> difficulty eating, etc. How do you handle situations like this?

Does

> your LO act rude to the nurses and accuse them of not taking care

of

> them, and want their requests taken care of immediately? She also

> cries a lot and states that she wants to go home.

>

> Last night she tried to get out of bed by herself to go to the

> bathroom and lost her balance. We were at the hospital ER from

12:00

> to 4:30 am. She had a tremendous goose egg on her temple, eyes are

> black today, a goose egg the size of a baseball on one leg, a

swollen

> knee on the other, and a bruised shoulder - but no broken bones,

thank

> God.

>

> April

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> **************Nothing says I love you like flowers! Find a florist

near you

> now. (http://yellowpages.aol.com/search?

query=florist & ncid=emlcntusyelp00000001)

>

>

>

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I've wondered what's the point of these? When there are twice as many

alarms going as there are staff, I don't see how they can keep the residents

any safer than physical restraints used to do?

His,

Sherry

www.owly.net

daughter of , (mis?)diagnosed with AD in 2005, descent slowed by

Aricept; diagnosed with LBD March 2008, in a wonderful NH 1/2 mile from my

house. We're learning to live with Lewy...

----- Original Message -----

> They did use the bed alarms down here in Southern MI at the nh Mom was at.

> Not that it did any good. We would hear alarms going all the time and

> caregivers at the nh didn't attend them.

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<snip> Problem with that is, if anything ever DID happen with the

staff, I wouldn't believe her. <snip>

Made that error myself. When my mom was in the psych ward, she told me

another resident attacked her, I regretfully didn't believe her at the

time. Turned out what she said was CORRECT and that the nurse LIED to

us when we questioned the first time. My mother was attacked by another

resident... he threw something at her that cut her hand...

It is difficult to believe everything that comes out of our LOs mouths -

especially when there are delusions and such added to the mix... I

guess the only thing that we as caregivers can do is make our presence

noticable when visiting the NHs & ALFs. Drop in at different times so

they don't know your routine. And never underestimate the power of

gifts to the nursing staff! Best gift I gave them was those Edible

Arrangements (looks like a bouquet of flowers made of fruit)

http://www.ediblearrangements.com/

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If you haven't done so already I'd leave a few LBD brochures around.

During the next family meeting - provide the team who cares for your

mom not only the LBD brochures, but provide them with the DVDs about

LBD. [to order email lbda@...]

Another item you should conveniently leave around is the following

poem by Shirley (a member of this group)

Lewy Body Disease from a Patients Point Of View

by Shirley Lay

http://www.care-givers.com/DBArticles/pages/viewarticle.php?id=730

>

> HI, My mom has really been complaining about the nurses at the

nursing

> home. She did this at the last NH also. I just moved her to a NH in

> the same town as me sot that I can oversee her care better. When

they

> don't give her what she requests immediately, she tells them that

she

> is important and that they should take better care of her, etc. A

lot

> of the nurses don't understand this aspect of LBD. It seems that

some

> of them take it personally (she can say things that are fairly

rude).

> They see her walking around (while others are in a wheelchair) and

> don't realize how this is really affecting her. She has tremendous

> difficulty sitting and rising, dressing, visual fluctuations,

> difficulty eating, etc. How do you handle situations like this? Does

> your LO act rude to the nurses and accuse them of not taking care of

> them, and want their requests taken care of immediately? She also

> cries a lot and states that she wants to go home.

>

> Last night she tried to get out of bed by herself to go to the

> bathroom and lost her balance. We were at the hospital ER from 12:00

> to 4:30 am. She had a tremendous goose egg on her temple, eyes are

> black today, a goose egg the size of a baseball on one leg, a

swollen

> knee on the other, and a bruised shoulder - but no broken bones,

thank

> God.

>

> April

>

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,

Our caregivers are required not only to write and incident report but

to call us.

I agree being present is a good idea, also presents.

I am sure it helps to let the staff know regularly that you appreciate

how much they are doing, how hard the work is. They really shouldn't

have to lie, it is impossible to control everything/everybody.

I try to pitch in and help where I can, especially socializing with

the other residents.

>

> <snip> Problem with that is, if anything ever DID happen with the

> staff, I wouldn't believe her. <snip>

>

> Made that error myself. When my mom was in the psych ward, she told me

> another resident attacked her, I regretfully didn't believe her at the

> time. Turned out what she said was CORRECT and that the nurse LIED to

> us when we questioned the first time. My mother was attacked by another

> resident...

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I had to deal with similar issues while my Mother was in the NH. When my Mother

would

say that someone was giving her trouble I would ask her if she could describe

them or

would recognize them. If she could give me specifics or point out the person

then it was

probably true. If she was very vague about who it was then it was a delusion.

One time in

particular my Mother complained about an aide giving her trouble and she told me

which

one had done it. Before I could question the aide the aide told me that she had

been

teasing my Mother and my Mother had gotten mad.

If I wasn't sure about it I would mention it to one of the nurses that I had a

good

relationship with. I would just tell her what my Mother had said without

accusing anyone.

That way she would be aware of a potential issue and could deal with it.

Many NH don't allow tips, but we would give out $10 gift cards from Target

(discount

store near the NH) at Christmas time. I would try to give them quietly and to

the main

people that cared for my Mother. Before doing it I asked one of the nurses if it

was OK

and she said it was, but I was never confidant that the management would feel

the same

way. Fortunately, it never caused any trouble and we developed a really good

working

relationship with the aides and nurses. 's correct everyone likes to

feel appreciated,

so a gift goes a long way.

in Dallas

>

> <snip> Problem with that is, if anything ever DID happen with the

> staff, I wouldn't believe her. <snip>

>

> Made that error myself. When my mom was in the psych ward, she told me

> another resident attacked her, I regretfully didn't believe her at the

> time. Turned out what she said was CORRECT and that the nurse LIED to

> us when we questioned the first time. My mother was attacked by another

> resident... he threw something at her that cut her hand...

>

> It is difficult to believe everything that comes out of our LOs mouths -

> especially when there are delusions and such added to the mix... I

> guess the only thing that we as caregivers can do is make our presence

> noticable when visiting the NHs & ALFs. Drop in at different times so

> they don't know your routine. And never underestimate the power of

> gifts to the nursing staff! Best gift I gave them was those Edible

> Arrangements (looks like a bouquet of flowers made of fruit)

> http://www.ediblearrangements.com/

>

>

>

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Same here - I get a phone call, even when my mom has lain herself down on

the floor and then yelled that she had fallen.

I'm not in a position to buy gifts but I always make my appreciation known:

right from the beginning I made it a point to learn each staff member's name

right from day 1, and address them with a smile and a question (how is your

cold? I heard you have a new grandchild, what is his name? did you have a

good weekend/Christmas/Thanksgiving/whatever?). I make eye contact with

each, and always smile and address them. When in a conversation, I make at

least brief physical contact - and sometimes even a hug - depending on the

person and the situation. I thank them for everything they do for us or for

my mom, no matter how minor it seems. And I notice that when I walk in the

door, they all greet me and ask how I'm doing, or relate a cute story about

my mom, as opposed to ignoring most of the visitors that come in. As a

former aide (through college) and activity director (after I graduated) I

remember how it was to be in the " front lines " yet feel invisible to

families...

Anyway, for Valentine's Day maybe I will make them a cake...I use sheet pans

in my business so it is no problem to whip one up back in my

" shop " -kitchen...I have to make one for my daughter's baby shower on the

14th anyway, may as well make 2 :).

His,

Sherry

www.owly.net

daughter of , (mis?)diagnosed with AD in 2005, descent slowed by

Aricept; diagnosed with LBD March 2008, in a wonderful NH 1/2 mile from my

house. We're learning to live with Lewy...

----- Original Message -----

> Our caregivers are required not only to write and incident report but

> to call us.

>

> I agree being present is a good idea, also presents.

>

> I am sure it helps to let the staff know regularly that you appreciate

> how much they are doing, how hard the work is. They really shouldn't

> have to lie, it is impossible to control everything/everybody.

>

> I try to pitch in and help where I can, especially socializing with

> the other residents.

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Excellent advice , I do make sure I don't visit on a schedule also

:).

And for some reason I'm feeling hungry now...lol!

His,

Sherry

www.owly.net

daughter of , (mis?)diagnosed with AD in 2005, descent slowed by

Aricept; diagnosed with LBD March 2008, in a wonderful NH 1/2 mile from my

house. We're learning to live with Lewy...

----- Original Message -----

> Made that error myself. When my mom was in the psych ward, she told me

> another resident attacked her, I regretfully didn't believe her at the

> time. Turned out what she said was CORRECT and that the nurse LIED to

> us when we questioned the first time. My mother was attacked by another

> resident... he threw something at her that cut her hand...

>

> It is difficult to believe everything that comes out of our LOs mouths -

> especially when there are delusions and such added to the mix... I

> guess the only thing that we as caregivers can do is make our presence

> noticable when visiting the NHs & ALFs. Drop in at different times so

> they don't know your routine. And never underestimate the power of

> gifts to the nursing staff! Best gift I gave them was those Edible

> Arrangements (looks like a bouquet of flowers made of fruit)

> http://www.ediblearrangements.com/

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Share on other sites

Oh my goodness! After reading from many of you that these are used

in care facilities and that the alarms go off with little or no

response, not enough caregivers or what ever, my heart just broke! I

am living in my own little world here at home with my LO and I really

don't know what is going on out there. I am feeling really angry at

this situation that all of you are going through and helpless too. I

am so sorry for all of you who have LO's in care facilities and have

to go through these things happening to them. I hope I have not hurt

anyones feeling, after reading the responses I realized, OF COURSE,

all of you have already thought of this and explored so many

options. Being home for so long and focusing on my husband and me

has put me so out of the loop. What a wakeup call. All of you are

so special and such good people. Hang in there and you are always in

my prayers.

Sherry in CO

In my own little world

but trying to think a

little more outside the

" house " .

>

> I've wondered what's the point of these? When there are twice as

many

> alarms going as there are staff, I don't see how they can keep the

residents

> any safer than physical restraints used to do?

>

> His,

> Sherry

> www.owly.net

> daughter of , (mis?)diagnosed with AD in 2005, descent slowed

by

> Aricept; diagnosed with LBD March 2008, in a wonderful NH 1/2 mile

from my

> house. We're learning to live with Lewy...

>

>

> ----- Original Message -----

>

> > They did use the bed alarms down here in Southern MI at the nh

Mom was at.

> > Not that it did any good. We would hear alarms going all the

time and

> > caregivers at the nh didn't attend them.

>

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Even though Mom could not keep gram at home, she always went to see

her at different times of the day and night. The staff soon realized

that my Mom could show up at anytime and all the different staff knew

that. My Mom also was very active on keeping up with what doc was

perscriping and Mom had gram to a gerentologist long before she

placed her in the NH. So the staff at the NH were very nice to my

gram because my Mom was like a tiger if she even thought there was

anything amiss. I guess she got that " ornery strick " from gram. lol

The funniest thing I ever saw was on a vist to Mom's when gram was

still living there. All over the walls in the living room were hugh

signs like " your room is down this hall " but the funniest one said " I

am not dead, I am at work " . I laughed so hard with my Mom about that

one. Sometimes I think gram was just doing some of that to get to my

Mom! My Mom is 86 now and lives with my older sister. Mom still

cooks, drives to the store and has her own friends but she is a real

handful too at times. And she knows it too, so she has been makeing

arrangement for living in an assisted care facility when she need to

and has told all of us kids that is what we are to do. We'll see.

Sherry in CO

>

> That's very interesting, actually...because my Gram lived with me

(my mom

> had put her in a NH but let me take her out so I could care for her

myself)

> during the last year of her life...when I went to see her in the NH

she told

> me that she was mean. I said, " Gram, I've never known you to be

mean! " and

> she looked me straight in the eye, picked up her water glass, and

dumped it

> out all over the floor! Pete and I still laugh about that...but

once we

> brought her to our house (I had a room built for her) she was

great. She

> died before her 95th birthday but was ambulatory and self-care

until the

> last few days. When her kidneys started to fail her about 2 weeks

before

> she died, I got hospice to come in. She died with my sister and I

and our

> children right there, playing in the living room...

>

> Something maybe OT but interesting nonetheless...there is a doctor

who is a

> known pill-pusher and had Gram on so many meds! Here she was in

her 90's

> and he had her on hormone pills to prevent osteoporosis! I hated

to tell

> him this but she was already bent way over and suffered fractures

of every

> kind... Anyway, the first thing I did when I got her home was take

her to a

> gerentologist, who took her off 75% of her meds. I hadn't realized

it until

> that time, but she had started having periods again from the

hormones!

> REALLY!! It was shocking, here she was in her 90's, having

periods! The

> gerentologist gave her a shot to stop them, but he was aghast at

all the

> unneccessary drugs she was on...

>

> His,

> Sherry s

> www.owly.net

> daughter of , (mis?)diagnosed with AD in 2005, diagnosed with

LBD March

> 2008

> Find me on Facebook - let's be friends :).

>

> ----- Original Message -----

>

> > My grandmother did not have LBD but my Mom finely had to place

her in

> > a NH when she was about 94 yr old. Broke my Mom's heart and Mom

had

> > all four of us kids be there the day she placed her in the home.

> > Then the fun began! That day my grandmother told me she was

ornery.

> > I said " Oh grandma you aren't ornery " She said to me " stick

around a

> > while and you will find out! " You could have knocked me over with

a

> > feather. Well then Mom tells me (about a month later) that she

got a

> > call at 1 am to come to the NH because grandma wouldn't take her

meds

> > and was holding all the staff at bay with her cane. Cussing them

out

> > and telling them she would hit anyone who came near her. Now my

gram

> > was raised by a Baptist preacher and I had never heard her cuss.

Mom

> > had to drive 25 miles that morning to get there and get gram to

take

> > her meds and bact to bed. Then Gram talked another lady into

> > excapeing the home and they were found 3 blocks away going for the

> > bus. Where to is anyones guess. She died at age 96 but broke my

> > moms heart when she said " I must have done something really bad

for

> > you to have put me in here. " My Mom was just so ill herself at

that

> > time that she could no longer keep gram at home. Mom had Gram

living

> > with her for over 20 years so she had put in her time. So I guess

> > when I think about it I know a little about NH's. I had just not

> > thought about that in a long time. Gram could be a real handful

and

> > she gave my Mom some hard times but Mom loved her with all her

> > heart. I always laugh when I think about her telling me to stick

> > around and find out.

>

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Besides, the one they used with Sherman sounded right by his ear 'cause it was

under his pillow, and it made him crazy (me too, whenever I was there and he

starte moving around).

(Another thought)

Raquel

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I've often thought that if I ran a NH (more headaches than I'd ever want!) I

would have an extra aide just to answer the alarms and the call buttons!

His,

Sherry s

www.owly.net

daughter of , (mis?)diagnosed with AD in 2005, diagnosed with LBD March

2008

Find me on Facebook - let's be friends :).

----- Original Message -----

I will have to say that the NH and rehab center where my husband was

responded to the alarms very quickly. Sometimes, in the dining room, where

they were on the chairs, they could watch the people, and if they got too

far out of their chairs, they could get to them in a hurry. Many times, they

would just try to stand up, then the alarm would go off, but they couldn't

physically go any farther.

If I never hear one of those alarms again, it will make me extremely happy.

I hated that sound. June C.

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Wow- thanks for all the great advice! But now I have a new twist to add to the

story. My mom called me tonight about 6:40 crying because she was trying to

change her panties and could not. She had been calling for help since 6:10, so I

called the nurses station and told them mom was trying to put on her panties and

couldn't and was crying and asked them to please go and help her. She was so

humiliated sitting on her bed w/o her panties on. I was sure that they would go

to her room after I called. She called me back about 15 minutes later stating

they still weren't there. I left my house and headed to the NH. I got there at

7:30 - and she was still sitting on the side of her bed with her panties in her

hand crying!!! I was absolutely furious. Her leg (from the fall Friday night) is

very swollen all the way to her foot and red.

I think that they see her walking around and compare her to some of the

residents in wheelchairs, and they think she is fine. I've told them that she

has trouble sitting, rising, dressing, balance, dressing, undressing, etc. I

gave copies of the letter from the files and printed off copies of the

characteristics, etc for them to have in her chart. Seems like the weekend help

is just no good though. They just don't understand how this disease affects her.

I will be having a meeting with the DON and administrator about this tomorrow.

Please pray for us...

April

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Good for you, April! I will pray for the outcome, and will be watching for

you to let us know how it went.

His,

Sherry s

www.owly.net

daughter of , (mis?)diagnosed with AD in 2005, diagnosed with LBD March

2008

Find me on Facebook - let's be friends :).

----- Original Message -----

> Wow- thanks for all the great advice! But now I have a new twist to add to

> the story. My mom called me tonight about 6:40 crying because she was

> trying to change her panties and could not. She had been calling for help

> since 6:10, so I called the nurses station and told them mom was trying to

> put on her panties and couldn't and was crying and asked them to please go

> and help her. She was so humiliated sitting on her bed w/o her panties on.

> I was sure that they would go to her room after I called. She called me

> back about 15 minutes later stating they still weren't there. I left my

> house and headed to the NH. I got there at 7:30 - and she was still

> sitting on the side of her bed with her panties in her hand crying!!! I

> was absolutely furious. Her leg (from the fall Friday night) is very

> swollen all the way to her foot and red.

>

> I think that they see her walking around and compare her to some of the

> residents in wheelchairs, and they think she is fine. I've told them that

> she has trouble sitting, rising, dressing, balance, dressing, undressing,

> etc. I gave copies of the letter from the files and printed off copies of

> the characteristics, etc for them to have in her chart. Seems like the

> weekend help is just no good though. They just don't understand how this

> disease affects her. I will be having a meeting with the DON and

> administrator about this tomorrow.

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April - I'd certainly be furious too! You definitely need a meeting

with the DON. That is definitely unacceptable!!

My mother's NH was Great! my mother's ALF for those w/ Dementia was

not... They didn't have enough staff. And when we took the tour

before she moved in I'm certain that they staged everything! We did

the tour and there was a CNA putting make up on one of the residents -

no way that team would have the time to do that. My mother was only

there for a week and the ALF knew they were in the wrong b/c they

returned every dime back to us - even the week that she was there.

So, caregivers, your jobs are not done when our LOs move into NHs &

ALFs - there's still much work to be done!

>

> Wow- thanks for all the great advice! But now I have a new twist to

add to the story. My mom called me tonight about 6:40 crying because

she was trying to change her panties and could not. She had been

calling for help since 6:10, so I called the nurses station and told

them mom was trying to put on her panties and couldn't and was crying

and asked them to please go and help her. She was so humiliated

sitting on her bed w/o her panties on. I was sure that they would go

to her room after I called. She called me back about 15 minutes later

stating they still weren't there. I left my house and headed to the

NH. I got there at 7:30 - and she was still sitting on the side of

her bed with her panties in her hand crying!!! I was absolutely

furious. Her leg (from the fall Friday night) is very swollen all the

way to her foot and red.

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April, I would have been furious too. I hope your meeting with The DON has

gone well.

Love a lot,

Imogene

In a message dated 2/8/2009 11:28:36 PM Central Standard Time,

bowena@... writes:

Wow- thanks for all the great advice! But now I have a new twist to add to

the story. My mom called me tonight about 6:40 crying because she was trying

to change her panties and could not. She had been calling for help since 6:10,

so I called the nurses station and told them mom was trying to put on her

panties and couldn't and was crying and asked them to please go and help her.

She was so humiliated sitting on her bed w/o her panties on. I was sure that

they would go to her room after I called. She called me back about 15 minutes

later stating they still weren't there. I left my house and headed to the NH.

I got there at 7:30 - and she was still sitting on the side of her bed with

her panties in her hand crying!!! I was absolutely furious. Her leg (from the

fall Friday night) is very swollen all the way to her foot and red.

I think that they see her walking around and compare her to some of the

residents in wheelchairs, and they think she is fine. I've told them that she

has

trouble sitting, rising, dressing, balance, dressing, undressing, etc. I

gave copies of the letter from the files and printed off copies of the

characteristics, etc for them to have in her chart. Seems like the weekend help

is

just no good though. They just don't understand how this disease affects her. I

will be having a meeting with the DON and administrator about this tomorrow.

Please pray for us...

April

**************Nothing says I love you like flowers! Find a florist near you

now. (http://yellowpages.aol.com/search?query=florist & ncid=emlcntusyelp00000001)

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We tried that long before Don needed a nursing home. What we saw we didn't

like and then the DON saw us and was very rude. According to her, " You need an

appointment to a tour. How did you get into the lockdown section? " And on

and on. That is what the unscheduled visit produced for us. We didn't go back.

We didn't need to.

In a message dated 2/9/2009 10:00:15 AM Central Standard Time,

upnorth@... writes:

When we chose King's for my mom, we went there unannounced and walked around

before even asking to speak with any of the staff. In addition, we talked

to other visitors and asked their thoughts about their LO's experiences

there. Only then did we officially request a tour...

His,

Sherry s

www.owly.net

daughter of , (mis?)diagnosed with AD in 2005, diagnosed with LBD March

2008

Find me on Facebook - let's be friends :).

**************Nothing says I love you like flowers! Find a florist near you

now. (http://yellowpages.aol.com/search?query=florist & ncid=emlcntusyelp00000001)

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When we chose King's for my mom, we went there unannounced and walked around

before even asking to speak with any of the staff. In addition, we talked

to other visitors and asked their thoughts about their LO's experiences

there. Only then did we officially request a tour...

His,

Sherry s

www.owly.net

daughter of , (mis?)diagnosed with AD in 2005, diagnosed with LBD March

2008

Find me on Facebook - let's be friends :).

----- Original Message -----

> My mother's NH was Great! my mother's ALF for those w/ Dementia was

> not... They didn't have enough staff. And when we took the tour

> before she moved in I'm certain that they staged everything! We did

> the tour and there was a CNA putting make up on one of the residents -

> no way that team would have the time to do that. My mother was only

> there for a week and the ALF knew they were in the wrong b/c they

> returned every dime back to us - even the week that she was there.

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April, how sad for your mother. I hope you get some positive reaction from the

DON

today. Good for you.

>

> Wow- thanks for all the great advice! But now I have a new twist to add to the

story. My

mom called me tonight about 6:40 crying because she was trying to change her

panties

and could not. She had been calling for help since 6:10, so I called the nurses

station and

told them mom was trying to put on her panties and couldn't and was crying and

asked

them to please go and help her. She was so humiliated sitting on her bed w/o her

panties

on. I was sure that they would go to her room after I called. She called me back

about 15

minutes later stating they still weren't there. I left my house and headed to

the NH. I got

there at 7:30 - and she was still sitting on the side of her bed with her

panties in her hand

crying!!! I was absolutely furious. Her leg (from the fall Friday night) is very

swollen all the

way to her foot and red.

>

> I think that they see her walking around and compare her to some of the

residents in

wheelchairs, and they think she is fine. I've told them that she has trouble

sitting, rising,

dressing, balance, dressing, undressing, etc. I gave copies of the letter from

the files and

printed off copies of the characteristics, etc for them to have in her chart.

Seems like the

weekend help is just no good though. They just don't understand how this disease

affects

her. I will be having a meeting with the DON and administrator about this

tomorrow.

>

> Please pray for us...

> April

>

>

>

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Another perfect example of why we should visit without an appointment

first...what a rotten experience, Imogene!

His,

Sherry s

www.owly.net

daughter of , (mis?)diagnosed with AD in 2005, diagnosed with LBD March

2008

Find me on Facebook - let's be friends :).

----- Original Message -----

> We tried that long before Don needed a nursing home. What we saw we

> didn't

> like and then the DON saw us and was very rude. According to her, " You

> need an

> appointment to a tour. How did you get into the lockdown section? " And on

> and on. That is what the unscheduled visit produced for us. We didn't go

> back.

> We didn't need to.

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Hi April,

This does me proud for you. I am so happy to see their attitude, and desire

to help.

Yes, Maybe now things will turn around for your Mom. It may be noisier, and

more activity going on near the Nurse's Station. But, if those things don't

bother her, then she will be in a much better spot.

A big smile with love for you,

Imogene

In a message dated 2/9/2009 10:22:14 PM Central Standard Time,

bowena@... writes:

Thank you everybody for your suggestions and support. I did speak with

the DON today. She took notes, apologized, and then gave me her cell

phone #. She told me if ever anything like this happens again, to call

her and she will meet me at the NH to take care of it right on the

spot. She assured me that this would be addressed with the nurses and

cna's. After our meeting, the doctor (actually the PA) came by mom's

room and apologized also. She also gave me her cell phone # and asked

me to call her immediately if anything like this should happen again,

and she will also be there.

The DON is going to have an training session on LBD for the nurses,

cna's, etc. so that they will understand mom's condition better and be

able to provide better care for her. (I gave her the website for LBDA

and printed information from this site.) I also asked for mom to be

transferred closer to the nurses station in case she falls in the

future. They came by about 1 1/2 hours after our meeting and told mom

she would be moving to a larger room closer to the nurses station.

Yay!! Hopefully this will be the beginning of better things!!

Hopeful in GA,

April

--- In LBDcaregivers ,

>

>

>

------------------------------------

Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

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