RE: First Grade Retention

[Guest guest]

My son did kindergarten in an autism school and then repeated

kindergarten at a new school. I think the gift of time was one of the

best things I ever did for him. It gave him the opportunity to

mature. He will be going to HS next year and the extra year

has benefits even now as he is physically and mentally more mature than he was

last year. I think it helps for our kids to be one of the oldest.

In terms of your son’s academics, I think that knowing only a few sight

words is not going to cut it in second grade. If he wasn’t disabled

they might retain him so why shouldn’t your son be given the

opportunity to have some extra time to mature before the work gets really

hard. I know that retention is controversial these days but for ASD kids

it makes a great deal of sense. Later on it will be much harder to leave

him back.

---------------

Ezor

sezor@...

From:

mb12 valtrex [mailto:mb12 valtrex ] On Behalf

Of Soliday

Sent: Thursday, May 07, 2009 1:47 PM

To: mb12 valtrex

Subject: First Grade Retention

I have a meeting coming up where I am going to

ask for my son to be retained in first grade. This year, he has started

communicating with other kids, making friends (kind of, they like him, but he

mostly plays side by side), and learning a few sight words. I think he has a

good chance of being able to do more first grade work in the classroom next

year whereas second grade work seems too advanced.

He is developmentally young as far as I can tell, he's about average height,

has lost his bottom front two teeth, and wears a size 13-1 shoes. His birthday

is Aug 17. He is giggly and loveable, immature and seeking approval and

affection. Not that this would keep him back in second grade, but I think his

immaturity would be more noticeable and out of place.

Could you all give me some feedback on this, is my request reasonable? Can you

think of anything else to strengthen my position? I don't think I'm going to

face strong resistance, but the teacher did mention that even if the team

agrees, the district has the final say (I personally think that's BS, but I

haven't looked at the laws in awhile I'd appreciate any of your opinions.

[Guest guest]

Sounds reasonable to me. His birthday is in August, so he is still 6 then? That

makes his one of the younger first graders now and I think the younger kids get

held back quite often without anyone thinking a thing about it. I think there

is a pretty big difference between 1st grade & 2nd grade work, so if you don't

think he's ready, then you should do what you think is best for him. And if you

don't think he's ready, you should stand firm even if you meet some resistance.

I'm a homeschooler, so I don't have any school experience to share, but I do

know I am nervous about 2nd grade next year, because the work is a bit more

focused and much more material is covered.

Good luck,

>

> I have a meeting coming up where I am going to ask for my son to be retained

in first grade. This year, he has started communicating with other kids, making

friends (kind of, they like him, but he mostly plays side by side), and learning

a few sight words. I think he has a good chance of being able to do more first

grade work in the classroom next year whereas second grade work seems too

advanced.

>

> He is developmentally young as far as I can tell, he's about average height,

has lost his bottom front two teeth, and wears a size 13-1 shoes. His birthday

is Aug 17. He is giggly and loveable, immature and seeking approval and

affection. Not that this would keep him back in second grade, but I think his

immaturity would be more noticeable and out of place.

>

> Could you all give me some feedback on this, is my request reasonable? Can

you think of anything else to strengthen my position? I don't think I'm going

to face strong resistance, but the teacher did mention that even if the team

agrees, the district has the final say (I personally think that's BS, but I

haven't looked at the laws in awhile I'd appreciate any of your opinions.

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, he's 6. What curriculum are you using for homeschool? I did ABEKA with my

older child in grades 2 and 3, then he went to public school starting in 4th

grade. He had an auditory processing prob. but he's doing great now and I think

it had a lot to do with homeschool.

> >

> > I have a meeting coming up where I am going to ask for my son to be retained

in first grade. This year, he has started communicating with other kids, making

friends (kind of, they like him, but he mostly plays side by side), and learning

a few sight words. I think he has a good chance of being able to do more first

grade work in the classroom next year whereas second grade work seems too

advanced.

> >

> > He is developmentally young as far as I can tell, he's about average height,

has lost his bottom front two teeth, and wears a size 13-1 shoes. His birthday

is Aug 17. He is giggly and loveable, immature and seeking approval and

affection. Not that this would keep him back in second grade, but I think his

immaturity would be more noticeable and out of place.

> >

> > Could you all give me some feedback on this, is my request reasonable? Can

you think of anything else to strengthen my position? I don't think I'm going

to face strong resistance, but the teacher did mention that even if the team

agrees, the district has the final say (I personally think that's BS, but I

haven't looked at the laws in awhile I'd appreciate any of your opinions.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Remaining a first grader for a second year is rather common. I know quite a few TYPICAL children whose parents did a transitional first FIRST, then their children went into first grade the following year.

I haven't heard of many districts refusing to keep a child in first for a second year. MANY children are very immature at this age and during this grade and the best hope of that child meeting with success later is to retain them in first for a second year to 'polish' him or her.

My daughter has attended a private special needs school since she was 3 yrs. old. She will be 7 in another week, and next year she will be placed within our district in a multiple disabled classroom. It is a new program and I am very excited that my district has finally approved a special ed. classroom in-district. Currently she is considered a first grader, HOWEVER I requested that this current year be a T-1 (transitional first) and this coming school year be first grade. My IEP meeting was two days ago and my case manager had no problem with that whatsoever. It is typically up to the 'team' as to the most appropriate placement for your child and you are a part of that team. Don't let your CST tell you that you do not have a 'say' in what is best for your child. State that his developmental delays, immaturity for his age, and a desire for him to increase communication skills (or academic skills) prior to moving up to second grade because he will meet with more success if he has mastered more basic skills, which are strongly taught in first grade.

Hope that helps,

Karmen

First Grade Retention

I have a meeting coming up where I am going to ask for my son to be retained in first grade. This year, he has started communicating with other kids, making friends (kind of, they like him, but he mostly plays side by side), and learning a few sight words. I think he has a good chance of being able to do more first grade work in the classroom next year whereas second grade work seems too advanced. He is developmentally young as far as I can tell, he's about average height, has lost his bottom front two teeth, and wears a size 13-1 shoes. His birthday is Aug 17. He is giggly and loveable, immature and seeking approval and affection. Not that this would keep him back in second grade, but I think his immaturity would be more noticeable and out of place. Could you all give me some feedback on this, is my request reasonable? Can you think of anything else to strengthen my position? I don't think I'm going to face strong resistance, but the teacher did mention that even if the team agrees, the district has the final say (I personally think that's BS, but I haven't looked at the laws in awhile I'd appreciate any of your opinions.

[Guest guest]

The gift of time can be a beautiful thing. My little girl (diagnosed SI/SPD) is

just finishing her second go at second grade. She is a summer birthday and

entered kinder at age 5. On top of much therapy and biomedical help, the extra

year has been arguably the best thing we ever did for her. She looks and acts

the same as her classmates - and she finally thinks she's good at school.

It was one of the hardest decisions we ever made, though. Follow your gut

instinct, bring the school along with you gently, and you'll be glad with the

results.

Beth

>

> I have a meeting coming up where I am going to ask for my son to be retained

in first grade. This year, he has started communicating with other kids, making

friends (kind of, they like him, but he mostly plays side by side), and learning

a few sight words. I think he has a good chance of being able to do more first

grade work in the classroom next year whereas second grade work seems too

advanced.

>

> He is developmentally young as far as I can tell, he's about average height,

has lost his bottom front two teeth, and wears a size 13-1 shoes. His birthday

is Aug 17. He is giggly and loveable, immature and seeking approval and

affection. Not that this would keep him back in second grade, but I think his

immaturity would be more noticeable and out of place.

>

> Could you all give me some feedback on this, is my request reasonable? Can

you think of anything else to strengthen my position? I don't think I'm going

to face strong resistance, but the teacher did mention that even if the team

agrees, the district has the final say (I personally think that's BS, but I

haven't looked at the laws in awhile I'd appreciate any of your opinions.

>

[Guest guest]

He will get an extra year of being a kid. And that is a beautiful thing..

especially for our kids who have gone through so much. As a teacher, I had to

fight a few times to get a kid retained. The district didn't want to do it

since it would cost more money. If the district says no, then you must go in

there and accuse them of being cheap and not caring about your child's education

as much as they care about their finances.

We put our son in kindergarten twice. ONce in public and now he is in a private

school for his second year. This is where he will stay. My NT daughter will do

the same thing. I waited a long time to have my babies. The last thing I want

to do is rush them through school and off into the world. Plus.......... my

kids will be a year smarter when they get introduced to people tempting them

with drugs. Good luck. Some districts are penny pinchers and if they have a

kid in front of them with a label, they will say it doesn't matter if they are

held back for growth. They are instructed to push them through.

> >

> > I have a meeting coming up where I am going to ask for my son to be retained

in first grade. This year, he has started communicating with other kids, making

friends (kind of, they like him, but he mostly plays side by side), and learning

a few sight words. I think he has a good chance of being able to do more first

grade work in the classroom next year whereas second grade work seems too

advanced.

> >

> > He is developmentally young as far as I can tell, he's about average height,

has lost his bottom front two teeth, and wears a size 13-1 shoes. His birthday

is Aug 17. He is giggly and loveable, immature and seeking approval and

affection. Not that this would keep him back in second grade, but I think his

immaturity would be more noticeable and out of place.

> >

> > Could you all give me some feedback on this, is my request reasonable? Can

you think of anything else to strengthen my position? I don't think I'm going

to face strong resistance, but the teacher did mention that even if the team

agrees, the district has the final say (I personally think that's BS, but I

haven't looked at the laws in awhile I'd appreciate any of your opinions.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Many asians are able to look at hundreds of facets of a single problem, thus keeping up with the debating technique used by administrators: finally wearing them down. I learnt that living in Japan and also from de Bono thinking. It is powerful perception that leads to powerful answers..;~) I also learned to agree with the administrator, just adding my own answer as an observation of the many perspectives involved. Perhaps different administrators react in different ways... The reasons they tried to give me are: 1. He's used to these classmates and he'll have to get used to a whole new set of peers. This is a BS reason really, because they switch kids around like crazy anyways, it's not like the same class moves together from year to year. My son learned to like his new peers within no time. 2. He'll be psychologically hurt if he doesn't get to go to the next grade when his peers do. This might be an issue for some HF kids but I told my son that he needed to learn some more things in 4th grade that he wasn't able to learn this year so he'll go to fifth grade next year and he was fine with that. 3. They said that right now you don't realize it but when he starts getting a moustache and beard much earlier than his classmates he'll feel embarassed/self conscious. To counter this I said that my son doesn't eat or drink food containing added hormones. He eats organic, hormone free food so I don't think this will be a big issue. I'm pretty sure some kids who are younger than him will hit puberty before him. And if it becomes an issue, we'll deal with it at that point. I'm not concerned about it right now. 4. He will look physically big as compared to his classmates and get embarassed. For this argument I used our ethnicity of being of asian origin and therefore of a shorter stature to our advantage....:-) Hope this helps! Sangeeta > > Thank you for the advice. I have learned from the replies to my post that the main reason the school district resists is because of funding reasons. That's kind of what I was looking for, what were their reasons for not wanting to retain him. Can you think of any other arguments I may go up against? Thanks.

[Guest guest]

The lead teacher did mention that retention was usually done with the intention

that the child would catch up (as if mine wouldn't . I really like her, she

didn't falter my hopes for him with that comment, I just ignored it.

The school in Hawaii fought us so hard against retaining my older son in

Kindergarten that we had to get an attorney. They ended up having to pay for

his private schooling because they flat out REFUSED to enroll him in

Kindergarten again when I came to register him.

Anyway, it's been awhile...so I hope it never gets that hairy again LOL.

>

> I can tell you that many special ed directors do not believe in retention

> b/c they don't believe that a child can 'catch up' by holding them back.

> What they don't understand is what a developmental delay is - it's different

> than mental retardation or other disabilities. Administrators say that the

> gap widens each year and holding a child isn't the solution. Well, in some

> ways they are right, but sometimes they are wrong and that extra year can

> make a huge difference. Also, it normally takes our kids longer to make

> friends so starting new every year is a tough proposition. Follow your

> knowledge about your child - like everything else, you know best.

>

>

>

> I think that the earlier the holding the better. One of the most important

> things your child can do is help make a circle of friends who go through the

> grades with your child and become the 'protectors' in middle school and

> beyond from bullies. We lost this when we moved and our son entered middle

> school - it was disaster with bullies. School districts don't do a

> particularly good job with 'minor' bullying b/c they have bigger fish to fry

> so our kids often are teased and tormented without anyone seeing it or

> thinking it's a priority. I held my typical son back in a private

> Kindergarten and then repeated Kindergarten in public school. He was shy

> and very insecure back then. Now, he is doing really great, academics are

> easy for him and his confidence is very high. It is truly a gift if a child

> isn't ready. HTH Heidi J

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> From: mb12 valtrex [mailto:mb12 valtrex ] On

> Behalf Of Soliday

> Sent: Friday, May 08, 2009 3:38 PM

> To: mb12 valtrex

> Subject: Re: First Grade Retention

>

>

>

> Thank you for the advice. I have learned from the replies to my post that

> the main reason the school district resists is because of funding reasons.

> That's kind of what I was looking for, what were their reasons for not

> wanting to retain him. Can you think of any other arguments I may go up

> against? Thanks.

>

[Guest guest]

,

One more thing. If they talk about research showing that holding back a child is

not useful, tell them that to-date ALL such research has been done only on

typically developing kids. There is absolutely no research done for ASD kids in

this area. So that research doesn't hold any water in this case. This is a very

strong argument that they cannot refute. Then tell them that you know of MANY

ASD kids who have benefitted tremendously from being held back.

Good luck! And Happy Mother's Day to all the moms!

Sangeeta

> >

> > I can tell you that many special ed directors do not believe in retention

> > b/c they don't believe that a child can 'catch up' by holding them back.

> > What they don't understand is what a developmental delay is - it's different

> > than mental retardation or other disabilities. Administrators say that the

> > gap widens each year and holding a child isn't the solution. Well, in some

> > ways they are right, but sometimes they are wrong and that extra year can

> > make a huge difference. Also, it normally takes our kids longer to make

> > friends so starting new every year is a tough proposition. Follow your

> > knowledge about your child - like everything else, you know best.

> >

> >

> >

> > I think that the earlier the holding the better. One of the most important

> > things your child can do is help make a circle of friends who go through the

> > grades with your child and become the 'protectors' in middle school and

> > beyond from bullies. We lost this when we moved and our son entered middle

> > school - it was disaster with bullies. School districts don't do a

> > particularly good job with 'minor' bullying b/c they have bigger fish to fry

> > so our kids often are teased and tormented without anyone seeing it or

> > thinking it's a priority. I held my typical son back in a private

> > Kindergarten and then repeated Kindergarten in public school. He was shy

> > and very insecure back then. Now, he is doing really great, academics are

> > easy for him and his confidence is very high. It is truly a gift if a child

> > isn't ready. HTH Heidi J

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > From: mb12 valtrex [mailto:mb12 valtrex ] On

> > Behalf Of Soliday

> > Sent: Friday, May 08, 2009 3:38 PM

> > To: mb12 valtrex

> > Subject: Re: First Grade Retention

> >

> >

> >

> > Thank you for the advice. I have learned from the replies to my post that

> > the main reason the school district resists is because of funding reasons.

> > That's kind of what I was looking for, what were their reasons for not

> > wanting to retain him. Can you think of any other arguments I may go up

> > against? Thanks.

> >

>