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re: comparisons to BP

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I totally relate to your situation!! Throughout my life when anyone

would say I looked like my nada I would deny it because I really

never saw similarities....it got to the point when a couple of years

ago my nada phoned me and asked me why I thought it was such a bad

thing to be compared to her...I felt kinda bad at the time and

completely kissed her a-- in that conversation. But besides

physical resemblence I find myself constantly questioning my

reaction to different situations, sometimes I bight my tongue even

though I may be in the right so as not to be compared to nada. I

sometimes feel like people are dismissing valid points I might have

because " oh she's like her crazy mother " I question myself too all

the time, I feel like my internal sensitivity radar is on overdrive

because of trying so hard to please her my whole life. After I

attend a party or any get together I review what I did and sometimes

end up feeling yucky about nothing, I too think way too much. I

also feel deep down that there is going to be punishment for me at

some point for not letting my mother back in my life, but I guess

its a price I'm willing to pay because the thought of her truly

sickens me...

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