A little feedback if you please..

January 26, 2004

My sis sent a rather vague email yesterday stating that my mother

was " not doing well " and that maybe " it would pass? " I replied asking

what she meant by " not doing well'. She has not responded. I haven't

spoken to my mother or sis in almost a year. My sis felt unable to

continue a relationship with me because I decided to end contact with

my mother. I think she is sort of punishing me in a passive

aggressive way. She is angry because she is the only child of four

still in regular contact with our mom. After our father died 2 1/2

years ago I spent a lot of time with my mom until it began to affect

me so negatively I walked away. I understand my sis' resent because

she feels left to deal with it all, but I stuck in there as long as I

could. Of course it was never OUR responsibility to begin with. My

mother went from being a queen all our lives to a waif after my

father died. Overnight. ANyway, I am not ready to see her but if she

is really sick I know the FOG will come with a vengance. I have a

feeling she is not, my sis just wants me to take the emotional bait

and contact my mom. It has crossed my mind that something could

happen to my mom while I am not speaking to her and most people would

say " Make up with her while she is alive, etc. but they don't

understand bpd. At any rate I am dealing with the dilemna we all

encounter: being true to ourselves vs. the FOG of the foo..any

comments? Thanks

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