Guest guest Posted December 16, 2003 Report Share Posted December 16, 2003 On Tue, Dec 16, 2003 at 07:05:56PM -0000, tom_tamar@... wrote: > I have a question > > If I am saying: I am angry with myself because I am judgmental. > acording to the work... Hi, Tami. I might choose to break this into separate statements: I should not be judgemental. I should not be angry. > Is that true that you are judgmental? > YES > Is that true that you are not suppose to be judgmental? > No (because the reality shows that I am judgmental) Yes, that's what would say. What does your heart say? When you go inside and ask, " Is it true that I'm not supposed to be judgemental? " what answer comes up for you? > How do you react when you think the thought > that you are not suppose to be judgmental and you are? > > I feel bad.... From what you wrote above, it sounds like you might feel angry that you're judgemental? Where in your body do you feel bad? Does it have a color or shape? Take your time with this question and pay attention to the feelings. > Do you have a reason that is not stressful to keap the thought that > you are not suppose to be judgmental? > > HERE I NEED HELP: > IF I think that I am not suppose to be judgmental > It might encourade me to behave diferent????????? Yes, it might. Does trying to change yourself feel peaceful to you? I find that reasons that have to do with getting myself to change usually feel stressful. Does it feel stressful or peaceful to you when you consider the idea: " Thinking, 'I am not supposed to be judgemental' might encourage me to behave differently. " Do you find a reason to drop the thought? (but there's no need to drop it -- just see if there's a reason). > Who would you be without that thought? > I would Judge and not feel bad about it!!!! Ahhh... so, would it be okay for you to make judgements and not feel about it? Perhaps there's an underlying belief here that " if I judge I should feel bad about it " ? > T.A: > I am angry with my thinking for being judgmental of me judjing. > I am not angry with mayself judging (because, according to the > say: " No meastake " - I am suppose to judge) What about, " My thinking is judgemental. " " My thinking is angry. " How do those feel for you? > My question is: > 1. I can I change habits that make me feel bad > about mayself like judging withought thinkink that I am not suppose > to judge? Well, has thinking that you're not supposed to judge worked for you so far? Have you changed yourself by thinking you're not supposed to judge? > 2. Is that true that I am not suppose to be judgmental? > So, doing the work " wright " is keep on judging, but not > feeling bad about it? Well, if you're going to judge anyway, why feel bad about it? > I am confused So am I. Sometimes we can help each other. Thank you for giving me the chance to hear myself say what I think about these ideas. take care... Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 16, 2003 Report Share Posted December 16, 2003 Hello Tami ~ The question of 'judgment' is where I entered this work, although the 'path' I took didn't involve doing The Work in the manner that structures it. Given that, you may not find my input helpful. If you find my comments useful, enjoy! If not, feel free to toss them in the dumpster. Briefly, here is the 'story of my life.' :-) In the Spring of 2000, one evening, I was preparing dinner while my wife, Jane, stood nearby, opening the mail. She mentioned someone that we both knew and I made some offhand, silly, cutting (judgmental) remark. Jane commented, " You know, you don't have to be so judgmental. " I turned to her to reply, and then stopped, watching the thoughts (I'd been doing meditation of one type or another for about 17 years at that point). I saw, in sequence the following: 1. I don't want to be judgmental...it is not an image of myself that I hold as 'good.' And I certainly don't want others to see me in that manner. 2. I clearly made a judgmental statement and believed it to be 'true.' 3. Since I didn't want to be seen as a judgmental person, and yet I *was* judgmental...what could that mean? 4. Realization: I did not willfully choose to have the judgmental thought. It " arrived " without my asking for it. 5. Conclusion: I do NOT control the thoughts that appear in my mental viewscreen. (At that time I still believed that although I could not control my thoughts, I could control my actions. Later examination showed me the falseness of that notion also!) I spent the next several months " in a fog, " walking around paying a great deal of attention to the thought process, seeing how thoughts are not chosen but simply come and go, like the weather. This, for me, was the beginning. Whether or not any of this sheds some light on your situation you will have to decide. A few other reactions to your comments follow below... I have a question If I am saying: I am angry with myself because I am judgmental. acording to the work... Is that true that you are judgmental? YES Is that true that you are not suppose to be judgmental? No (because the reality shows that I am judgmental) *****So: There is a mental image being held that you should not judge. For one (or more) reasons, there is a belief that judging should not happen, and, simultaneously, you observe that judging DOES occur. This leads to your feeling bad because the behavior (judging) does not match the ideal (one should not judge). I will tell you that judging still happens " in " Andy. It has diminished (as has much extraneous thought), but it occurs from time to time. However, it does not concern me the way it used to. Why is here an absence of concern? Because there is no identification with the thoughts. There is no investment in them. They carry as much emotive weight as reading a train schedule. In buddhist terms, they are " empty. " A little further down in your post you ask, " Is that true that I am not suppose to be judgmental? " You already answered that above, with the comment, " No (because the reality shows that I am judgmental). " It might be useful to examine where " shoulds " and " shouldn'ts " come from. How do you react when you think the thought that you are not suppose to be judgmental and you are? I feel bad.... *****Because one aspect of the reality (judging) doesn't match a desired thought (I shouldn't judge). Perhaps, then, the bad feeling occurs when you believe the thought " I shouldn't judge. " I wonder what would happen if you could really accept that judging happens in Tami? Perhaps the energy that feeds the judging might weaken? And judging would consequently diminish? Even if that didn't occur, there would be no 'bad' feelings since you would be " ok " with the fact that judging happens, no longer being held hostage by the belief that 'I shouldn't judge.' Good luck with your work. ~andy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.