Comparisons to the BPM

[Guest guest]

Does anyone find that they can become very intolerant of the

possibility of being compared to their BPM to the point that it can

sometimes cause you to stifle much of what you would say (or do in a

situation) where you probably are justified? In my situation my

mother is finally exposed after all my life of hiding it, and to the

point where she was exposed in a BIG WAY. So rather than being the

wonderful mom everyone has seen since I was growing up, it is a 180

degree turn around and now she's " a borderline " . I used to have to

pretend to be complimented by the comparison to my mom (not that I

ever really WAS, but it was easier to deal with positive compliments

than comparisons to someone as disturbed as she is). Now I freak out

at the thought that I might or that I have reacted in a way that

could be compared to something she might do. I THINK TOO MUCH. I

don't know how to talk myself out of thinking that I can't say or do

something for fear of them thinking I am " like her " , or to keep

myself from ending every statement with " This is how I feel, right or

wrong, but that doesn't make me like my mom " . Anything I say or do

that even maybe I shouldn't, I feel that it will get that " she's like

her mother " thought rather than " she is her own person, prone to say

or do stupid things just like anyone else " .

Blah blah. Rambling. Thanks for listening.