A double footectomy and alone on the 60th birthday...

[Guest guest]

So recently I had to make a tough call, at least for me it was.

Here's the background. September 25th was nada's last rage and the

only time I had seen her since August 23rd. I had to go get my

winter clothes because I had stored them in her extra closet when I

got married (needed to make room for hubby). Anyway, she threw a

major rage which began when she said " How lovely for you to come

visit me, all mothers should treasure such tender moments with their

daughter(all sarcasm b/c I was there for the clothes). I said, " Can

you please drop the Post, Mom, " and she flew into one of the

top 3 rages I have ever witnessed which included shoving and

throwing things at me, calling me names, saying I wanted her to

commit suicide... and kept screaming " Post?! You bxtch! " --

really whacked. And I just stood there stunned. Like it was a

movie. I think once I muttered a " please calm down, " but not much

else. When I left I was shaking like leaf, but no tears, I was in

shock. Then I got a four page hate email sent at 5 am of course (she

never sleeps), then the next day I come home from work and all my

Madame baby-dolls (40+) from childhood and a good set of

china that had been put away for me were on my front porch. So I at

this point certain there should be no need communicate with her for

any reason. And then...

Last week she leaves a message that she has to have BOTH of her feet

operated on and she needed me to give her a ride home from the

hospital and stay the night with her. I knew I absolutely couldn't

do it, but felt I should somehow because I was the last family

member left and so on... But I also knew I couldn't. Why should I?

What message would that be conveying? So, I finally reached the

conclusion that the only safe and adult thing to do was say " no. " I

wrote a direct email, which she returned with more twisting and

sarcasm, naturally. This was so hard for me for some reason. I

can't help but wonder if this wasn't a trap, a test, it certainly

must be on some level. The other sad part is that her surgery is on

the day before her 60th birthday. So from now on, I'll always go

down in her twisted history as " my daughter who abondon me with a

double footectomy on my 60th birthday! " More fuel for the fire I

guess.

Thanks for the vent session,

[Guest guest]

nada meanie can take a cab and even if the world hears about it...so

what. How super mean of her to treat you like that.I know what you

mean about shaking like a leaf. REally good for you to take that

stand.

lotsa support...

kathleen

[Guest guest]

Ah, yes, those rages at me getting my stuff are so familiar to me...

last time I left stuff at nada's (three years ago) I finally decided

to leave most of it behind permanently, it wasn't worth the anguish.

I bought new furniture, appliances, etc etc. Recently nada left a

voice message trying to hoover me by offering me some of the

furniture... I know it was a hoover because after I wrote her back

and said I would like to have it, when can we make arrangments for a

moving company -- I never heard back from her again. So she didn't

really want to give me the furniture, she wanted to " give me a

chance " to crawl back and *neeeeeeed* something that she had.

As for that foot operation... it smells a little suspicious... like

she needs to walk on you some more or something along those lines?

Hang in there

Hope

> So recently I had to make a tough call, at least for me it was.

> Here's the background. September 25th was nada's last rage and the

> only time I had seen her since August 23rd. I had to go get my

> winter clothes because I had stored them in her extra closet when I

> got married (needed to make room for hubby). Anyway, she threw a

> major rage which began when she said " How lovely for you to come

> visit me, all mothers should treasure such tender moments with

their

> daughter(all sarcasm b/c I was there for the clothes). I

said, " Can

> you please drop the Post, Mom, " and she flew into one of the

> top 3 rages I have ever witnessed which included shoving and

> throwing things at me, calling me names, saying I wanted her to

> commit suicide... and kept screaming " Post?! You bxtch! " --

> really whacked. And I just stood there stunned. Like it was a

> movie. I think once I muttered a " please calm down, " but not much

> else. When I left I was shaking like leaf, but no tears, I was in

> shock. Then I got a four page hate email sent at 5 am of course

(she

> never sleeps), then the next day I come home from work and all my

> Madame baby-dolls (40+) from childhood and a good set of

> china that had been put away for me were on my front porch. So I

at

> this point certain there should be no need communicate with her for

> any reason. And then...

>

> Last week she leaves a message that she has to have BOTH of her

feet

> operated on and she needed me to give her a ride home from the

> hospital and stay the night with her. I knew I absolutely couldn't

> do it, but felt I should somehow because I was the last family

> member left and so on... But I also knew I couldn't. Why should

I?

> What message would that be conveying? So, I finally reached the

> conclusion that the only safe and adult thing to do was say " no. " I

> wrote a direct email, which she returned with more twisting and

> sarcasm, naturally. This was so hard for me for some reason. I

> can't help but wonder if this wasn't a trap, a test, it certainly

> must be on some level. The other sad part is that her surgery is

on

> the day before her 60th birthday. So from now on, I'll always go

> down in her twisted history as " my daughter who abondon me with a

> double footectomy on my 60th birthday! " More fuel for the fire I

> guess.

>

> Thanks for the vent session,

>