Abby Re: : Coyote

[Guest guest]

Yeah, thats exactly it. I know for myself I was probably not an easy

kid to raise..I never did great in school, I never followed through

on any of my great ideas, I got into lots of trouble (not the kind

involving drugs/alcohol), I just loved to bug people...once to the

point of having the cops show up at my house, lol. I also know that

had I been hit by a car at age 5 or something, even if I was a

paraplegic or retarded or whatever...my Mom and Dad would have kept

me at home and loved me just the same. Its frustating to think of

putting my Dad in a home. For me, that signifies " this is the end of

your life " and that is the most heartbreaking of all.

I feel so sad when I read your stories of your Dad...or anyones

Dad/Mom here on the board for that matter...cuz I know exactly what

its like to hear them say or do strange things and just have to be

OK with it.

Take care..love, Coyote

> Hi there:

>

> I know just what you mean about being sort of apathetic about

nhs.

> While you can appreciate the need for them, they're always best

for

> someone other than your LO. I feel the same way. My dad is in a

nh

> now just because this bloody disease has wrecked havoc on my dear

old

> dad but I hate that he's there. Like I say so many times, you

never

> intend for your parent to end up in one. You don't say, " hey you

> raise me, love me and tend to me for as long as possible. I, on

the

> other hand, will be difficult to raise but I'll love ya just the

same

> and then when you become more trouble than you're worth, it's off

to

> a nh you go. "

>

> So, I know all too well how horrendous it is to view nhs with the

> prospect of sending your LO to one. It may be the nicest, most

> luxiourous place ever but the truth is, the caregivers there

> (regardless of how good or committed they are) will never know how

> amazing your LO is nor do they love him/her so they won't be able

to

> be there with the same degree of TLC you have. Yet, there comes a

> time with this illness that you don't have a choice just like we

> didn't have a choice. In our case, my dad was falling constantly,

> didn't live in a house " equipped " for a wheelchair nor did his

home

> have a shower for him on the main floor and my dad was completely

> unable to move/walk. In your case, your dad is wandering and may

get

> into serious danger because of it. When you consider the danger

that

> may come to them, what choice do you have? In the end, a nh is

the

> only option available if you want to keep your LBD afflicted LO

safe

> and the rest of your family healthy and sane. But does that ever

> become a " feel good " option? Never, never in my view.

>

> I wish Risperadal would have worked for my dad too although he has

> not been agitated lately. I know that means nothing given the

> fluctuations of LBD but I am glad to have the consistent bitter

and

> angry " blahs " gone for the time being.

>

> This illness is so frigtening. Day by day I seem to lose more and

> more of the person my father is. Yesterday, during my sister's

> birthday lunch, he seemed so good. That lasted for a precious 35

> minutes and, believe me, I am so grateful for those time since we

> hadn't seen him so good in months!!! As soon as lunch was over

and

> we moved him back to his room, the hallucinations and crazy talk

> began again with a vengeance. While my aunt and uncle were there

my

> dad kept trying to get up (he's in a wheelchair and can't move),

> would tell my mom all about how he broke up the snow in front of

> their home so it would melt faster and told her he'd take her to

see

> whatever movie she wanted to see.

>

> Coyote, I'm right with ya hating the hell out of this blasted

beast.

>

> Abby