Abby Re: Coyote

[Guest guest]

Sorry to hear your Dad had such a crappy day too. Must have been

very difficult on your Mom to have all those accusations thrown at

her. Hopefully she is strong enough not to take them to heart. Its

very possible that he dreamed he went to see her and she wasnt home,

then didnt know the difference when he woke. You just never know

with this crazy disease. Its probably easier to just say " Im so

sorry I wasnt there " then to argue that you havent lived there in 34

years!

Interestingly, my Dad was also sometimes kinda verbally " mean " to my

Mom, but never when I was there. Go figure.

I agree -- give this disease to horrible murderers and molesters so

they can taste what its like to be helpless and confused and

powerless.

I hope your Dad is doing better now. Usually some good days follow

the crappy ones, right?

Cyberhugs,

> Something must be in the air because my dad also had a really

> horrible day today after having had several good days. As I said

> before, the fluctuations are the worst because the lows are so

> devastating.

>

> Apparently, my dad began the day much like he always does - by

> accusing my mom of not being at home when he went there to see her

> and by asking her where she went. While he usually does this,

> today's inquisition had a bit of an edge and he told her that he

> doesn't understand how she could forget about him and that it was

a

> good thing the people there were taking care of him since she sure

as

> hell wasn't anymore. My mom tried to tell him she was at home but

he

> was adamant and began repeating, " Do you think I'm crazy? I would

> know if you were there - I was there and you weren't. " He told my

> mom he went to their house on Glenhaven but we haven't lived there

> for 34 years. He seemed really anxious about it. He got better

when

> I got there but then again he never really become accusatory with

my

> mom in company. Funny how he can control very little but he can

> control that. My dad is still a bit into maintaining the

semblance

> of all being well.

>

> To that end we got confirmation of how my dad keeps things from us

> deliberately today. When I got there this morning, the nurse told

me

> my dad had complained of chest pains late last night and of a

> headache this morning. When I asked my dad about this, he

downplayed

> the entire incident and said he never had a headache at all. He

> appeared upset that the nurse had told us. I grabbed his hand and

> said, " Dad, you can tell me if you're hurting. I expect you to be

> hurting so I won't be upset by you telling me. I know you worry

> about that but please don't ever be afraid to tell me the truth. "

He

> admitted he did have a headache but it was only a slight

headache.

> That's my dad - not wanting to upset us, pretending all is fine,

not

> wanting to be a bother.

>

> Today too I railed against LBD, the brain cyst and my dad's fate.

> Yet again I'm struck by the injustice of it all. I still believe

> that if the world were just, this beast and the suffering it

inflicts

> would come to the most heinous, horrible criminals only and not to

> good people who go around doing the best they know how. I know

> there's a greater purpose but some days I lose sight of what that

is.

>

> I hope tomorrow is better for both our dads and for all of our LOs.

>

> Abby