Re: Holidays and the FOG- Carol

[Guest guest]

Validation! How sweet it is!!! And you'll find more when you least

expect it. What a great hurdle you just climbed over in your travels

through the tunnel towards the light. Hang in there!

SmileS!

Carol M

Wood wrote:

> Hi Carol and thanks so much for your reply. I needed to hear things like that

today. I just got off the phone with my grandma. My dad's mom. Her and my

grandfather were my saving graces as a child. Their home was my safe place. I

just told her about BPD and I got so much validation from her I almost cried.

Still might. She said as a child I was always so nervous and they knew it had

to do with nada but didn't know to what extent. She said I always reminded her

of a bird who was afraid to land. She said I got so bad at times her and my

grandpap even talked of trying to get custody of me but back then in the 70s

they knew they didn't have a chance. It just felt so good to be reminded that

yes things were that bad and it wasn't my imagination. Thank you for your words

also. It's an emotional day.

>

> Carol M wrote:, you're not horrible for staying

away from nada-babe. It's not

> easy, especially with the FOO guilt trips, but no one else has walked in

> your moccasins, so no one else has any right to tell you what you should

> or should not do. Your child comes first. Nada has lived her life,

> made her choices, and now she can live with the ugly results. The FOO

> are so hood-winked they can't see the truth, nor do they want to.

> That's their problem. You are the smart one. Stick to your resolve!

>

> Smiles!

> Carol

>

> wvvixen1@... wrote:

>

>

>>My problem is this my nada was the type to rage and give silent

>>treatments. I'm 31 years old and still terrified of her but there

>>were times when she was a good mom. Admittedly it was when I was

>>acting the way she wanted me to but this is the first holiday season

>>that has been no contact and I'm having trouble with the FOG. I

>>catch myself trying to say the " weel it wasn't that bad " and she was

>>nice some of the times but at the same time the thought of talking

>>to her again terrifies me as she has just gotten worse and worse

>>over the past few year and I guess I just need to hear that I'm not

>>horrible for not contacting her. I need to get her out of my head

>>and let her stop controlling my thoughts. Any ideas??