Josie

[Guest guest]

Dear Abby:

My daughters and I have lots of love. We do enjoy it lots! She didn't get a

date, which I am sure is crushing her ego, but has a girlfriend sleeping over

here tonight, (that reminds me, I must pick up the house and use the feather

duster!!!!!! LOL!). Hugs,

Josie

[Guest guest]

> Dear Abby:

>

> My daughters and I have lots of love. We do enjoy it lots! She

didn't get a

> date, which I am sure is crushing her ego, but has a girlfriend

sleeping over

> here tonight, (that reminds me, I must pick up the house and use

the feather

> duster!!!!!! LOL!). Hugs,

>

Sounds great!! (minus the feather duster and the tidying up of the

house of course!!)

Have a great night!

Abby

[Guest guest]

You are both special...

[Guest guest]

Dear Abby and All:

I took my mom to the DR's. She had more extensive fractures than we knew.

She made the desicion to have surgery on her arm to put a plate with screws

that will fix the fracture better than letting it set by itself in a cast for 6

to 8 weeks. The surgery's recovery time is about two weeks. My sister also

agreed to have her undergo surgery, and I asked Mom if she wanted me to call the

DR to arrange for surgery this week. My Mom said: " so soon? " , I guess she is

a little aprehensive. She wants to be able to use her arm and hand. She

cannot use her cane anymore and she is a painter and needs her right hand to do

her paintings, which is her main form of entertainment. She is really upset

about that.

Her knee replacement surgery has been postponed until she recuperates from

her arm, one way or the other. She decided to stay at my house until she goes

to her knee repalcement surgery.

As you can see it is all very straight forward and I think she had made up

her mind before I offered her to stay. She was just not going to invite herself

here. She is calm and relaxed. We are waiting for my sister, who is coming

here after work, to decide whether to call the DR and schedule the arm surgery

today.

I ifeel bad for her, but everything seems to be under control for now.

, my oldest one will be here on the 17th, so I'll have a full house again!

Thank you all for your concern,

Josie

[Guest guest]

Wow Josie!

That's a lot to take in but, kudos to you my girl, you sound like

you've got it all together amidst what would otherwise be an

extremely stressful situation.

I hope your mom's surgery leads her to a speedy recovery. You've

often alluded to how vital her painting is to her and, like you, I

would hate to see her denied of that for too long because of a bad

fall.

Great news re: coming back home. Is that Spring break for

universities in the States? Next week, I begin March Break so I'll

be home (yes again!!! I personally have decided we should all work

from February to June..). I'm looking forward to spending the time

with my boys. You'll have a full house, mine will just be a noisy

one but I'll delight in it right along with you.

Thanks for the update. Once again, I'm glad your mom is with you.

Abby

[Guest guest]

Dear Abby:

Thanks, but I am not so perfect. After a day of doctors and some stress, I

passed out on my " other " sofa. My mom has taken over the one I like to use. I

did not help her to change into her pajamas, and she slept in her clothes. I

woke up at 3 AM, and went to see her, all dressed up under the covers! She

said she did not want to wake me up, and it didn't matter (?). I hope I will

catch up with my duties soon.

I had to go to the supermarket last night and asked her if she wanted to come

along and take a ride with me. She said: " but I am so comfortable here, I

don't need to go anywhere " . I guess I am a good hostess! LOL! Or have a

comfortable mess...

We made the desicion yesterday to go ahead with the operation on her arm.

She will have plates screwed into the bone to make sure the bones set properly

and she has complete function of the hand. The DR said that if you let it set

in a cast, it may not set in the proper places and she will need extensive

physical therapy and may not come out as functional as she expects to. Her

going

back to her painting would be questionable.

My sister visited with us and we all are in agreement about the operation.

The office manager of my mom's DR will try to set up the operation for this

week. I'll let you know.

school is set up in quarters instead of trimesters, she gets out at

odd times. I told her about her grandmother last night. She had been in the

National competition of Debate, for Freshmen in College. She did well with her

partner, her boyfriend got SECOND PLACE. Nationally!!!! We are really proud

of him. He had to be a brainiac, or she would not have been interested in

him! was concerned about her grandmother. She is so happy that Mom

will

be home with us when she comes back.

I am so glad you will be home with your boys soon. Enjoy them. I love the

noise of children in the house. I let my grand nephews and nieces run around

the house and enjoy themselves. Those are five children six years and under!

Of course, we have two babies 9 months and 3 months that are not running yet.

I'll let you know when we are having my mom's operation. Love,

Josie

[Guest guest]

Dear Abby:

Except for the fact that I got behind in my plans (what else is new? when

will I learn not to make plans?), things are better here. My mom is not in pain

anymore. She would not take the strong pain killers and Tylenos wasn't

enough. She is not so depressed anymore, now that the operation was so

successful

and she can foresee going back to her painting in less than two weeks.

Mom's friends are coming to visit with her today. will be with her

dad and I will try to get all done with what I wanted to do for .

Tomorow my mom is going to my sisters home and I will go out with ,

probably to the parks we like, but there are some cultural activities that I may

drag

her to.

Have a great weekend. Hugs,

Josie

[Guest guest]

Sounds like a perfect weekend for all of you!!

I'm glad things are looking so good for your mom - especially in

terms of her pain relief and in terms of being able to get back to

her painting.

I hope your mom being with you is going to make everyone's life

easier.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Abby

[Guest guest]

As it turns out the dinner with friends was precisely the distraction

I needed to not think about all this stuff. I ended up laughing with

my girlfriends and we drank coolers and sweet wine and just enjoyed

ourselves sans LBD.

Until 9 pm when my mom called from my sister's house and asked me to

call the nh and check on my dad and how he was doing. Well, I blew a

fuse! Here she was at my sister's place just the two of them and she

had to interrupt my dinner to ask me to call to check on my dad. She

knew I was having company and she knew that this was pretty much the

only time I had with my friends since my March Break began but,

rather than inconvenience my sister, she called me. In the end, I

ended up feeling guilty and I called but it just bugs me that she's

too afraid to ask of my sister what she does of me yet when we argue

she never takes my side.

Again, this is family stuff that I swore would not take up too much

of my energy. Sorry to load it all on you Josie.

I'm sorry you feel as if your mom is bored and that there is little

you can do about it. I imagine it will be difficult for her until

she has the cast removed and she can go back to her painting. Thank

goodness that will be only one week away. Will she have to do any

physio once she has it removed?

I know we all have our burdens and I don't mean to complain about

them it's just that I think it's all starting to get to me. Perhaps

when I go back to work on Tuesday my mind will be filled with

something else.

Thanks Josie.

Abby

[Guest guest]

The image of your sister having found happiness because she's willing

to have her husband being such a dominant force in her life is one

that remains stuck in my mind. I always wonder at people who are so

willing to forego what they want and transform their desires into

pleasing others. To me, that's an easier existence but rarely a

happier one.

Off my grandstand now and onto all else. I just had to say that in

response to what your sister claims has kept her happy this many

years (presumably with her husband).

I did enjoy my girlfriends and our husbands took over the main

tending of our kids while we giggled and laughed. My cousin who is

in a truly lousy relationship came over with her kids after dinner

and I think a good time was had by all....or at least I hope it was.

(I've made a mental not never to serve beef brisket again. Mine was

entirely too dry...I'm not a good beef brisketer I think.)

Good for you for standing up to your mother and helping her to form a

more meaningful connection to your sister. And, as difficult as it

can be while your mom is on the mend, I'm glad she's with you.

Hope you enjoy the rest of your day in sunny Miami.

Abby --> who should be doing a whole lot more marking of my IB papers

before returning to school on Tuesday...

[Guest guest]

Josie:

The warmth that goes into your posts always makes them such a

pleasure to read. When you're not here for a while, I miss you but

I'm glad you're having a life at the same time. I hope things with

your mom have settled. Is the cast off? Does she start rehab/physio

now?

My dad did OK today but he fell asleep a bit before I left and my mom

tells me he's still pretty sleepy now. I'm hoping that transpires

into a better night for my dad and all his roommates who had to

listen to him blabber in angry Italian on Friday night! He had lots

of visitors (including my husband and kids) and I'm certain they

tired him out. He was quite belligerent and angry before we got

there this morning. Actually, I walked in at 8:30 this morning only

to have him refuse any medication or to have Ron, our very favorite

nurse there (we know them all since we've become regulars and Ron is

our hands-down favorite), take his vitals. I told Ron to leave the

meds with me and my sister and I slowly coerced him to take his meds

and calmed him down a bit. Ron was amazed at the difference 30

minutes with us made.

My dad did a whole lot less picking at things today and didn't eat

any imaginary food. He did feed himself some of his lunch (real

food). No today was a positive LBD fluctuation.

My sister and I are worried that my dad's legs are much stronger.

He's not walking but he can stand on his own. That worries us

because if he feels he can walk, he'll try to get out of bed again

and we don't want another fall. As well, my dad was a big-time

wanderer so we don't want him to begin wandering into other

residents' at the nh rooms. I don't know that my dad will be that

much stronger but now that the tumor has been removed from his

cerebellum the doctor does want him to begin walking again. That's

good news but..... I think what our social worker (who has become a

dear friend of the family throughout this) is going to do is ask that

my dad's neurologist write a note saying that my dad needs to be

restrained when he's not being observed. While I hate the idea that

my dad is tied up, having him fall - especially so soon after the

surgery = would be really dangerous. He's tied int the hospital but

he still moves to get up or tells us to continue chatting while he

goes for a nice, long walk or goes to check out the hospital's

garden. (My dad, gotta love him...and I do.)

So Josie, that's the latest on my dad. No telling what tomorrow will

bring but I'm kind of getting used to that part of LBD.

Speaking of our shared student stories, I spoke to Winivieve's father

today. He openly cried and I cried right along with him. I

commended him on how he raised his daughter to have strength and

moral fortitude. She really is such a special young girl. She's

been in there since February 19 and then last week they took her off

all medications and are waiting for nature to take its course. I've

seen more former students in the past two days from that class than I

have since I last taught them. So sad that they have to gather

together for that reason. When I left last night, they were all in

the waiting room (about 20 of them) and they were waiting their time

to go in and say goodbye to Winivieve. Very, very sad.

I've lost many of my students to death but it's always very, very

hard - even if you don't know them anymore.

Abby