Full Catastrophe Living Pt. 2

[Guest guest]

" The issue of control is central to coping with problems and with stress. There

are many forces at work in the world that are totally beyond our control and

others that we sometimes think are beyond our control but really aren't. To a

great extent, our ability to influence our circumstances depends on how we see

things. Our beliefs about ourselves and about our own capabilities as well as

how we see the world and the forces at play in it all affect what we will find

possible. How we see things affects how much energy we for doing things and our

choices about where to channel what energy we do have.

For instance, at those times when you are feeling overwhelmed by the pressures

in your life and you see your own efforts as ineffectual, in all likelihood you

will wind up feeling depressed and helpless. Nothing will seem controllable or

even worth trying to control. On the other hand, at those times when you are

seeing the world as threatening but only potentially overwhelming, then feelings

of insecurity rather than depression may predominate, causing you to worry

incessantly about all the things you think threaten or might threaten your sense

of control. These could be real or imagined; it hardly matters in terms of the

stress you will feel and the effect it will have on your life.

Feeling threatened can easily lead to feelings of anger and hostility and from

there to outright aggressive behavior, driven by deep instincts to protect your

position and maintain your sense of things being under control. When things do

feel " under control, " we might feel content for a moment. But when they go out

of control again, or even SEEM to be getting out of control, our deepest

insecurities can erupt. At such times we might even act in ways that are

self-destructive and hurtful to others. And we will feel anything but content.

If you have a chronic illnes or disability that prevents you from doing what you

used to be able to do, whole areas of control may go up in smoke. And if your

condition causes you physical pain that has not responded well to medical

treatment, the distress you might be feeling can be compounded by emotional

turmoil caused by knowing that your condition seems to be beyond even your

doctor's control.

What is more, our worries about control are hardly limited to our major life

problems. Some of our biggest stresses actually come from our reactions to the

smallest, most insignificant events when they threaten our sense of control in

one way or another, from the car breaking down just when you have someplace

important to go, to your children not listening to you for the tenth time in as

many minutes, to the lines being " too long " at the supermarket checkout or at

the bank.

It is not easy to find a word or phrase that really captures the broad range of

experiences in life that cause us distress and pain and that promote in us an

underlying sense of fear, insecurity, and loss of control. If we were to make a

list, it would certainly include our own vulnerability and mortality. It might

also include our collective capacity for cruelty and violence, as well as the

colossal levels of ignorance and greed, delusion and deception, that seem to

drive us and the world much of the time. What could we possibly call the sum

total of our vulnerabilities and inadequacies, our limitations and weaknesses as

people, the illnesses and injuries and disabilities we may have to live with,

the personal defeats and failures we have felt or fear in the future, the

injustices and exploitations we suffer or fear, the losses of people we love and

of our own bodies sooner or later? It would have to be a metaphor that would not

be maudlin, something that would also convey the

understanding that it is not a disaster to be alive just because we feel fear

and we suffer; it would have to convey the understanding that there is joy as

well as suffering, hope as well as despair, calm as well as agitation, love as

well as hatred, health as well as illness.

In groping to describe that aspect of the human condition that the patients in

the stress clinic and, in fact, most of us, at one time or another, need to come

to terms with and in some way transcend, I keep coming back to one line from the

movie of Nikos Kazantzakis's novel ZORBA THE GREEK. Zorba's young companion

turns to him at a certain point and inquires, " Zorba, have you ever been

married? " to which Zorba replies (paraphrasing somewhat) " Am I not a man? Of

course I've been married. Wife, house, kids, everything. . . . . . . THE FULL

CATASTROPHE! "

It was not meant to be a lament, nor does it mean that being married or having

children is a catastrophe. Zorba's response embodies a supreme appreciation for

the richness of life and the inevitability of all its dilemmas, sorrows,

tragedies, and ironies. His way is to " dance " in the gale of the full

catastrophe, to celebrate life, to laugh with it and at himself, even in the

face of personal failure and defeat. In doing so, he is never weighted down for

long, never ultimately defeated either by the world or by his own considerable

folly.

Anybody who knows the book can imagine that living with Zorba must in itself

have been quite the " full catastrophe " for his wife and children. As is so often

the case, the public hero that others admire can leave quite a trail of private

hurt in his wake. Yet ever since I first heard it, I have felt that the phrase

" the full catastrophe " captures something positive about the human spirit's

ability to come to grips with what is most difficult in life and to find within

it room to grow in strength and wisdom. For me, facing the full catastrophe

means finding and coming to terms with what is most human in ourselves. There is

not one person on the planet who does not have his or her own version of the

full catastrophe.

CATASTROPHE here does not mean disaster. Rather it means the poignant enormity

of our life experience. It includes crises and disaster but also all the little

things that go wrong and that add up. The phrase reminds us that life is always

in flux, that everything we think is permanent is actually only temporary and

constantly changing. This includes our ideas, our opinions, our relationships,

our jobs, our possessions,. our creations, our bodies, everything.

In this book we will be learning and practicing the art of embracing the full

catastrophe. We will be doing this so that rather than destroying us or robbing

us of our power and our hope, the storms of life will strengthen us as they

teach us about living, growing, and healing in a world of flux and change and

sometimes great pain. This art will involve learning to see ourselves and the

world in new ways, learning to work in new ways with our bodies and our thoughts

and feelings and perceptions, and learning to laugh at things a little more,

including ourselves, as we practice finding and maintaining our balance as best

as we can. "

This was written by Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D., in the excellent book called, " Full

Catastrophe Living " , published by Dell Publishing (A Delta Paperback), copyright

1990, 1991.

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/AffirmationstoDe-Stress

A positive thinking, positive affirmations support group, that discusses ways to

cope with the stresses of daily life. Come aboard! PJ and Gang