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Re: Help help help!

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> (This me leaving, this me going up in smoke)

> How can, should I, do I behave?

Vicki, I would say leave but please don't go up in smoke. Trust

your own reality. If anyone in your life is really there for you,

be with them and be thankful. If there is nobody, try to be there

for yourself. Stay away from people who want to tear that ability

away from you. Feel the support in this group.

The holidays are a rough time because we are expected to be with

family. I am doing my best to completely ignore the holidays.

- Dan

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> > (This me leaving, this me going up in smoke)

> > How can, should I, do I behave?

>

> The holidays are a rough time because we are expected to be with

> family. I am doing my best to completely ignore the holidays.

>

> - Dan

Are you in a different country? If I recall France maybe? I am

wondering because of the time.

I guess you understood the craziness. I am also wondering if others

have mothers who take on the personality of who ever they are around.

My mother today had this new personality and it was not until later

that I realized she had become her brother.

He is very sweet so it is totally out of charactor.

You are right the Holidays are rough. I am trying to become the light

I am not sure I can pull it off.

Good night, Vicki

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> Are you in a different country? If I recall France maybe?

Right, France. I am not much of a night owl. Never was.

(clarification, to deny that I am getting old).

> I am also wondering if others have mothers who take on

> the personality of who ever they are around.

Mine doesn't. She projects sweetness, light, and rationality to

everyone outside the family. She tells them what she thinks they

want to hear. When family comes to visit, she projects sweetness

and light until she runs out of it and then takes someone aside and

gives them the witch treatment. A lesson that I never properly

learned: don't ever get caught alone with her.

> You are right the Holidays are rough.

> I am trying to become the light, I am not sure I can pull it off.

Vicki, when it is rough, protecting your boundaries is enough. You

don't have to be the light. Me, if my wife makes cookies or plays

Christmas carols, I enjoy it, but I am not feeling any obligations.

- Dan

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Dan said:

Mine doesn't. She projects sweetness, light, and rationality to

everyone outside the family. She tells them what she thinks they

want to hear. When family comes to visit, she projects sweetness

and light until she runs out of it and then takes someone aside and

gives them the witch treatment. A lesson that I never properly

learned: don't ever get caught alone with her.

To Dan:

Mine does the same and behind the scenes she creates chaos that

appear to be my doing. She never means what she says or says what

she means.

She once moved onto a family members property after being told that

she and husband could bring a travel trailer there for a couple of

months. Instead they had a mobil home delierved and a septic system

installed. I told and told them not to.

I of course was blammed for not telling them.

Oh well, I must stop dwelling.

Thanks, Vicki

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