Suggestions for a VERY resistant LB?

[Guest guest]

My 84 yr old LB father is now resisting all medications and blood

draws. He's always been difficult and I can usually get him to do

whatever but it's been exhausting on me (the main caregiver) to have

to drop what I'm doing and go to wherever he is (now he's at the

hospital) and talk him into taking his medications. The hospital

talked about getting a judge to declare him incompetent so they can

give him psych drugs against his will (IM). This process sounded

like " Reeces " ??? Can anyone give me some suggestions about this?

He's about to be released to a facility one hour away and I can't

keep this up... Also, how do you measure what is mid stage and what

is end stage? Thank you in advance for your help...

Tori

[Guest guest]

Once the court gets involved, you end up with some major expenses

(lots of pigs line up at the trough) and your life is no longer your

own. If your father must be declared incompetent--you go to court and

do it. Don't add the extra step of having the hospital initiate it.

But it will cost thousands of dollars to lawyers anyway.

> My 84 yr old LB father is now resisting all medications and blood

> draws. He's always been difficult and I can usually get him to do

> whatever but it's been exhausting on me (the main caregiver) to

have

> to drop what I'm doing and go to wherever he is (now he's at the

> hospital) and talk him into taking his medications. The hospital

> talked about getting a judge to declare him incompetent so they can

> give him psych drugs against his will (IM). This process sounded

> like " Reeces " ??? Can anyone give me some suggestions about this?

> He's about to be released to a facility one hour away and I can't

> keep this up... Also, how do you measure what is mid stage and

what

> is end stage? Thank you in advance for your help...

>

> Tori

[Guest guest]

Hi Tori

Sally here in the UK.

My dad (aged 67) was exactly like you describe.

He refused ANY medication - he spat it all out. He would just lash out,

fight, struggle and moan. He spit, bit and pinched all who went near him. It

was the worst time of all - he was like a caged animal desperate to escape.

The thought of our loved ones being 'force fed' medication is like something

the Nazis would do!!! It is abhorrent to me.

AND you would have to ask exactly how it would help? I can't see any

purpose. What drugs do they wish to administer?? We know that so many psycho

drugs make the LBD WORSE!!!

In the end with my dad the hospital brought in a nurse who specialised in

dealing with Autistic adults and she calmed him just by speaking gently,

accepting he didn't want drugs and coaxing him to stay calm.

This all erupted in the last 3 weeks of his life but significantly more

violent in the last week. Three days before he died the combative behaviour

stopped and he was virtually in a coma. He was rigid and could barely move.

His breathing was shallow. He hardly ever opened his eyes. He didn't

communicate. He was left alone - kept as clean as possible. Other than that

he lay unattended. His tremor stayed - till he died his body continually

jerked with a tremor.

It is extremely difficult to say what stage your dad is at. There is no

definite measure.

BUT if someone is not eating and not drinking then something is going to

give I think.

This is the nature of this bastard killer - shadow boxing all the way!

My heart goes out to you Tori.

You are doing all you can and doing a great job.

Maybe the nurses in the other facility are better placed to give your dad

the nursing care he needs.You are right ... you can't go on like this. I'm

glad you realise that you need space and recuperative time too. Is anyone

else in the family able to share this load??

Thinking of you

Hugs

Sally xx

[Guest guest]

Tori,

There is a reason he does not want to take the drugs they are giving him

in the hospital. Maybe the drugs are to strong. Maybe he has given up

and really does not want to take any anymore. If you can figure out

why, and does he really need them or would a different one work better.

Mom always took the ones that did not affect her more than she could

handle. You have a choice ( if he wants to quit) to give them to him or

ask for something else or none.

I always tried to remember that just because they are having trouble

with their brains does not mean they are stupid! And that is hard to

remember when you are running fast and furious to keep up. Remember, MDs

do not know everything.

Donna