Guest guest Posted February 19, 2004 Report Share Posted February 19, 2004 A little humor among our sadness Pat, SC :-} HOME REMEDIES: 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. 4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for awhile, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.. AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use duct tape.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2004 Report Share Posted February 19, 2004 Pat This tickled my funny bone, thank you. Fwd:FW: Home Remedies A little humor among our sadness Pat, SC :-} HOME REMEDIES: 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. 4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for awhile, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.. AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use duct tape.. Welcome to LBDcaregivers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2004 Report Share Posted February 22, 2004 I love this. Thanks for making me laugh. M > >Reply-To: LBDcaregivers >To: LBDcaregivers >Subject: Fwd:FW: Home Remedies >Date: Thu, 19 Feb 2004 09:37:07 >MIME-Version: 1.0 >X-Sender: patstan@... >Received: from n8.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.92]) by mc1-f4.hotmail.com >with Microsoft SMTPSVC(5.0.2195.6824); Thu, 19 Feb 2004 06:36:02 -0800 >Received: from [66.218.66.158] by n8.grp.scd.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 19 Feb >2004 14:35:29 -0000 >Received: (qmail 52266 invoked from network); 19 Feb 2004 14:35:24 -0000 >Received: from unknown (66.218.66.172) by m18.grp.scd.yahoo.com with QMQP; >19 Feb 2004 14:35:24 -0000 >Received: from unknown (HELO capitol.mail.pas.earthlink.net) >(207.217.120.180) by mta4.grp.scd.yahoo.com with SMTP; 19 Feb 2004 >14:35:24 -0000 >Received: from dialup-67.73.61.174.dial1.losangeles1.level3.net >([67.73.61.174] helo=FPE)by capitol.mail.pas.earthlink.net with smtp (Exim >3.33 #1)id 1AtpGg-0004ZF-00for LBDcaregivers ; Thu, 19 Feb >2004 06:35:18 -0800 >X-Message-Info: JGTYoYF78jFIqEGUj+7yD9FaD/WypX4W >X-eGroups-Return: >sentto-2141318-25290-1077201325-cat86443=hotmail.com@... >X-Apparently-To: LBDcaregivers >Message-ID: <id.19022004093707.00000@FPE> >X-eGroups-Remote-IP: 207.217.120.180 >Mailing-List: list LBDcaregivers ; contact >LBDcaregivers-owner >Delivered-To: mailing list LBDcaregivers >Precedence: bulk >List-Unsubscribe: <mailto:LBDcaregivers-unsubscribe > >Return-Path: >sentto-2141318-25290-1077201325-cat86443=hotmail.com@... >X-OriginalArrivalTime: 19 Feb 2004 14:36:02.0746 (UTC) >FILETIME=[b30649A0:01C3F6F5] > >A little humor among our sadness Pat, SC :-} > >HOME REMEDIES: > > 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of > > >boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost > >instantly removed. > > 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting > >someone else to hold them while you chop away. > > 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply > >using the sink. > > 4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for >awhile, > >thus reducing the pressure in your veins. > > 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from > >rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button. > > 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will >be > >afraid to cough. > > 7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will >forget > >about the tooth ache.. > > AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really > >are: > > You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it > > >should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use duct tape.. > _________________________________________________________________ Take off on a romantic weekend or a family adventure to these great U.S. locations. http://special.msn.com/local/hotdestinations.armx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2004 Report Share Posted February 23, 2004 M. You're welcome, had a big laugh myself. Pat,SC -------------------------------------------------------------- I love this. Thanks for making me laugh. M > >Reply-To: LBDcaregivers >To: LBDcaregivers >Subject: Fwd:FW: Home Remedies >Date: Thu, 19 Feb 2004 09:37:07 >MIME-Version: 1.0 >X-Sender: patstan@... >Received: from n8.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.92]) by mc1-f4.hotmail.com >with Microsoft SMTPSVC(5.0.2195.6824); Thu, 19 Feb 2004 06:36:02 -0800 >Received: from [66.218.66.158] by n8.grp.scd.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 19 Feb >2004 14:35:29 -0000 >Received: (qmail 52266 invoked from network); 19 Feb 2004 14:35:24 -0000 >Received: from unknown (66.218.66.172) by m18.grp.scd.yahoo.com with QMQP; >19 Feb 2004 14:35:24 -0000 >Received: from unknown (HELO capitol.mail.pas.earthlink.net) >(207.217.120.180) by mta4.grp.scd.yahoo.com with SMTP; 19 Feb 2004 >14:35:24 -0000 >Received: from dialup-67.73.61.174.dial1.losangeles1.level3.net >([67.73.61.174] helo=FPE)by capitol.mail.pas.earthlink.net with smtp (Exim >3.33 #1)id 1AtpGg-0004ZF-00for LBDcaregivers ; Thu, 19 Feb >2004 06:35:18 -0800 >X-Message-Info: JGTYoYF78jFIqEGUj+7yD9FaD/WypX4W >X-eGroups-Return: >sentto-2141318-25290-1077201325-cat86443=hotmail.com@... >X-Apparently-To: LBDcaregivers >Message-ID: <id.19022004093707.00000@FPE> >X-eGroups-Remote-IP: 207.217.120.180 >Mailing-List: list LBDcaregivers ; contact >LBDcaregivers-owner >Delivered-To: mailing list LBDcaregivers >Precedence: bulk >List-Unsubscribe: <mailto:LBDcaregivers-unsubscribe > >Return-Path: >sentto-2141318-25290-1077201325-cat86443=hotmail.com@... >X-OriginalArrivalTime: 19 Feb 2004 14:36:02.0746 (UTC) >FILETIME=[b30649A0:01C3F6F5] > >A little humor among our sadness Pat, SC :-} > >HOME REMEDIES: > > 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of > > >boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost > >instantly removed. > > 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting > >someone else to hold them while you chop away. > > 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply > >using the sink. > > 4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for >awhile, > >thus reducing the pressure in your veins. > > 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from > >rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button. > > 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will >be > >afraid to cough. > > 7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will >forget > >about the tooth ache.. > > AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really > >are: > > You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it > > >should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use duct tape.. > _________________________________________________________________ Take off on a romantic weekend or a family adventure to these great U.S. locations. http://special.msn.com/local/hotdestinations.armx Welcome to LBDcaregivers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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