Re: Welcome Back PJ & Musings (6-15-07)

[Guest guest]

Dear and affirmation friends,

Thank you for the welcome back message! , I always appreciate

your sharing and your terrific attitude!

I really believe in the 12 step programs an awful lot as they have

helped me so many times in my long lifetime of 51 years! First, as an older

teenager who didn't understand all that was going on & that I came from a

somewhat dysfunctional family background -- almost like an alcoholic family, but

actually we weren't! Just the dynamics of it were there! Somehow I " found " an

office in Houston, TX that wasn't A.A., but maybe was actually an Al-Anon

Office or perhaps " Adult Children of Alcoholics " Office -- can't remember

exactly what it was. But, I remember the brochures, the really kind office

workers and bookstore and how it started to open me up to the possibility that

there was help out there. I even starting going to some kind of meetings with

my boyfriend (at the time), ...now he is my husband of 31 years! Boy, those

meetings were eye-openers to me!!! And then some years later, we went to more

meetings at another time when I lived in Houston. I'm trying to

think of some of the authors' names of the books that were discussed:

Bradshaw, Melody Beattie, and last names of Woititz, Whitfield, Fishel,

Wegscheider-Cruse, Subby, and Gravitz, & Bowden. Guess that takes me " way back " !

I guess most of these were talks on Adult Children of Alcoholics, and

Co-dependency, Al-Anon, etc. Then, even more years into my future: I went to

Overeaters Anonymous Meetings and all of that. .............Then, even more

years into the future, a friend needed moral support so I went with her to some

Narcotics Anonymous meetings for a couple of years. Gee, thinking back now --

I can see " why " the Big Book and 12 step recovery programs & that type of

healthier thinking over my old " stinking thinking " really helped myself and my

family throughout our lives!! What a history!

I apologize to anyone who might feel " out of the loop " or who might feel

this type of talk is foreign to them. Actually, you may be some of the lucky

ones out there! However, if anyone ever has any questions about any topics we

discuss in affirmations, feel free as always (around here), to send me an email

to the group, or to my mollyann365@yahoo email box. I won't mind!

I guess what I'm coming to realize is that I have such a history in so many

areas of my life!

Let's see: 1) I was adopted an an infant, 2) never knew my biological family,

even though I tried to locate them when I was an adult (through an agency), 3)

lived in somewhat a dysfunctional childhood home, although 'I was loved'. Both

my younger brothers & I were adopted (all from different people). I just wasn't

told that I was loved, nor was I hugged. They were a non-touchy family. And,

praise was rarely if ever mentioned, only criticism, and negativity and

pessimism. (Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and we have a better

relationship now than ever before, ...although it is still occasionally

strained, uptight, and tense). 4) I was sexually abused by a guitar teacher

when I was 16, and by another person who was a relative when I was only 10-12

years old. (this was back in the age of " don't go there " !, don't talk about it,

etc.) 5) I also had a sincere yearning for Christianity or for God in my

childhood and teenage life, that I couldn't seem to quench. Years

later, I figured some things out, and am now more content in that area. 6)

But, still sometimes I want to feel that enveloping, loving hug from my Heavenly

Father -- you know, that need for a physical, comforting hug! -- I know I'll

make it one of these days. 7) Had two different illnesses two " springs "

(meaning: as in a season) in a row in high school where I had to miss 2 months

of school both years -- my junior & senior year, (You should see how pale &

thin I was in my real graduation photo that spring! Ugh) 8) I broke my right

knee when I was 13 years of age which put an end to my hoped for ballet career.

(I took ballet from the age of 4 on, and the tryouts for the Allegro Ballet of

Houston were the actual night 2 hours AFTER I broke my knee in a ballet class).

Dr. said " it was one of those really weird fractures that was severe, and

couldn't happen again in a million years " !! 9) I was called a dummy and

'stupid' when a kid -- by the way, I'm not dumb or

stupid! But it took me years to realize that. Gee, I haven't even reached my

adult life yet! And, I'm exhausted just looking through all of this!

Then, as an adult: 1) I had a severe depression in my late 20's and early

30's brought on initially by postpartum depression (after having my 2 kids only

18 months apart, with natural childbirth and breastfeeding them). 2) My middle

child had severe asthma and nearly died during this same time period, and he had

to be life-flighted from one hospital ER to another one, after we had to drive

over an hour to reach the first ER (we lived in the country). My son had a

respiratory arrest in the 2nd ER hospital (but fortunately, it was Texas

Children's!!). We were prepared by a team of doctors that he wasn't going to

make it, and that he most probably would die. Man, was that hard to go through!

*** Today, my son is happily married and a firefighter/EMT/Paramedic and a

fitness trainer in Houston. Some irony, huh?! My oldest child (a daughter) is

happily married, in medical school training to become a doctor and has one child

(my wonderful grandson)! Had to put some

more good news in here somewhere!! Oh, and my dear 16-year old daughter, who

the doctors said we couldn't have, is very musical and an honor student and is

home-schooled! (Can't leave one of my precious children out of my story)

3) At the time of my tremendously severe depression, I also had many other

health ailments I dealt with requiring treatments, etc. Including a rare blood

disease, where I had to go for therapeutic phlebotamy's once or twice a week for

2 years at the hospital where I was there at least 2-3 hours at a time, and then

had to go back to work afterwards. (that's where they take out a pint of blood

each time and throw it away, because it had too much iron in it); 4) Many

years later after being somewhat healthy for some years, I was diagnosed with

fibromyalgia. 5) About 2 years later, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid

arthritis; and 6) then sjogren's syndrome a few months ago. (These are all

auto-immune diseases and are more extensive than just achy joints -- just for

your info.) You can't just take some advil and have it " go away " ! Forgive me

for saying that -- I look mostly healthy and normal with these diseases except

for limping sometimes, and for my fingers which are

starting to show more physical signs of rheumatoid arthritis. But, these

diseases are chronic (lifelong) and can even affect organs! And, you can't tell

that sometimes I get upset when people look at me on my bad days with my

handicapped sticker, because I look pretty normal and healthy. Sorry, venting a

bit here! 7) Of course, there have been many financial ups and downs through

the years just like everyone else .

I know there is more of this stuff in my adult life, but that is all I can

think of at the present moment. Besides, you guys might think I'm making some of

this up or exxagerating.

I assure you that none of this is made up?! Why am I sharing this with you?!

SO, you can maybe understand me a bit better. So, you will understand that I

frequently " can understand " what you might be going through and that I have

tremendous love for everyone.

That is why I voluntarily started this affirmations group back in Sept. 2002

-- to help people who needed to talk, or who needed a better way. I knew that

too many people can't afford adequate medical care, and that there needed to be

some place where people can buoy themselves up to deal with hectic,

stress-filled lives.

OH, and one of my main points that I started my " musing's " tonight was to

convey some of this. Twelve Step Recovery programs have helped me off and on

through my life immensely. And just recently, I realized that I haven't honored

that part of what has helped me and wanted to give some credit " where credit is

due! " Also, so if I occasionally branch off with what seems like 12 step

programs tools here in this affirmations group, that I believe that they can

help everyone in many ways! JUST LIKE: positive thinking, positive

affirmations, healthy eating, exercise, etc. can!!!

See, there are many tools in our toolbox to deal with grief, pain, anger,

worry, depression, anxiety, frustration, etc. etc.

Hugs, light and love, PJ

Copyright 2007 by P.J. Ray.

angelamdavey2300 wrote:

Dear PJ,

Welcome back. I truly began to miss you.

It is wonderful to be traveling with people who share their

experiences, strengths and HOPES. I too have been around 12 Step

Programs since 1979.

My primary reason was for out of control food issues. Then on to

another program for help with a loved one's issues.

My programs are like getting advanced degrees in Life 101.

What I learned just yesterday...the difference between " smartness "

and " wisdom. " Smartness comes from reading facts and the ego that

says, " look at all I know! " Wisdom comes from repeated experiences,

both happy and sad which contribute to a knowing about life.

I'll be thinking and praying for all of you and important you have

become to me.

Blessings,

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/AffirmationstoDe-Stress

A positive thinking, positive affirmations support group, that discusses ways to

cope with the stresses of daily life. Come aboard! PJ and Gang