More questions from my sister in-law

[Guest guest]

Hi there

The thing that really makes me sad is that Mom knows that she does these

stupid things and there is nothing she can do about it. At least when I ask

her why she does certain things, she seems aware that she has done or said

them, but can't help herself. Are other LO's aware of silly or wild things

that they say or do? Are they aware what they have said at the beginning,

but become unaware later on further into the disease? What are your

experiences with this.

Thanks all

-Carol

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[Guest guest]

Hi Carol, and thanks to everyone for the " me toos " on my MIL's

hallucinations.

Carol asked:

> Are other LO's aware of silly or wild things

>that they say or do? Are they aware what they have said at the beginning,

>but become unaware later on further into the disease? What are your

>experiences with this.

>

My MIL knows that she sees things. She calls them her " visitors " and

sometimes she is even able to cover up her hallucinations. Last night

she told my husband that her other son was there, and he was carrying

the same kind of hook that the children in her hallucinations carry to

rip her furniture apart. Then she said, " but it was just a dream. "

Sometimes she says that she knows they're not there, but " damn it, why

won't they leave me alone? What if they have to go to the bathroon? When

do they eat? "

One day she told my sister-in-law that she thinks she must have had a

couple of strokes because " really strange things go on in my mind. "

Sadly, this is her at her best. When she is agitated she hollers and

yells at the hallucinations and calls everyone she knows to come and do

something about them. It is so weird, because she can dial the phone,

but she won't ask the aides at assisted living to help her. It is so

frustrating for us, because although we have to go to work every

morning, she calls all night, and unless we take the phone off the hook,

we don't get any sleep. Mind, she is in a safe place with good care,

but she doesn't want the aides or nurses to know she is having " visitors. "

Well, my husband and I are off to Italy on Wednesday for 12 days. In

the past three weeks, my MIL has been kicked out of an assisted living

facility, hospitalized, and generally very aggressive and nasty toward

us. My 83 year old father was hit by a speeding car; my cousin had her

4th trach in as many months; my aunt was admitted to the hospital

yesterday, and my uncle belongs there, but hey, this is the USA and why

put a weak elderly man with vertigo, cancer and blood clots in the

hospital? My sister-in-law that was to come and spell us so we could go

away just went into her 7th or 8th drug rehab (that I know about).

AAARRGHH!

At least we are escaping if only for 12 days. Sorry for the rant, but I

can tell that this is a safe place where no one is judged for feeling

worn out and wrung out.

Thanks,

Debbie in Pittsburgh

[Guest guest]

Hi Carol,

I think in the very early stages SOME lbd patients have

some " hindsight " that kind of lets them know right after they have

done or said something...(especially when someone else points it

out!), but I think they have no idea AS they are doing/saying

something how strange it is, if that makes any sense. You are very

lucky that your mom has the insight to be straight about it. My Dad

did not have this insight...he tried his best to hide it, justify

it, blame someone else, or whatever ANYTHING but admit there's a

problem. I would say its more common that someone would not have

insight. And I think that as the disease progresses, those with

insight will lose it. Eventually the strange things your LOs do,

stop feeling so strange and you just accept them quietly and dont

bother even pointing them out. My Mom used to hound my Dad 50 times

a day about leaving the faucets/lights on everywhere he passed

one...and I was like " stop wasting all your energy " . It's easier to

just shut the thing off yourself and say nothing.

Of course, no one can really predict exactly how your Mom's pattern

of progression will go, but there is ALWAYS someone on the board who

can identify with what you are talking about!

Take care, Coyote

>

> Hi there

> The thing that really makes me sad is that Mom knows that she does

these

> stupid things and there is nothing she can do about it. At least

when I ask

> her why she does certain things, she seems aware that she has done

or said

> them, but can't help herself. Are other LO's aware of silly or

wild things

> that they say or do? Are they aware what they have said at the

beginning,

> but become unaware later on further into the disease? What are

your

> experiences with this.

>

> Thanks all

> -Carol

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Add photos to your messages with MSN Premium. Get 2 months FREE*

> http://join.msn.com/?pgmarket=en-

ca & page=byoa/prem & xAPID=1994 & DI=1034 & SU=http://hotmail.com/enca & HL=Ma

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[Guest guest]

Dear Carol:

Take this as to make light of your mom's problem, or not to make light of

your mom's problem, but we all do that occasionally. I certainly do. My dad

got

specially upset when he could not say the word he was thinking of. He always

knew when this was happening. He was not aware of his bizarre behavior.

Just realize that this is her " new " way of doing things, let her think you are

amused and having fun with her less guarded self, whenever possible. You are

all in my prayers,

Josie