Re: No more nada

[Guest guest]

Tammy,

The first thing that hit me in your letter is the strength. You sound

very strong in yourself - and in your convictions. That is such a

good thing.

I believe you too. I believe you KNOW what happened. I believe you

spoke your truth. I believe you tried as hard as you could....and

then some. And I believe that you are not motivated by hate or anger.

I was listening to one of my favorite tapes today - and what jumped

out at me was that sometimes the most LOVING thing you can do is

leave someone. Loving for you...and in an odd way - even more loving

for them. I know you will follow your heart in this - as you have

been.

Yet I know parts of it will be hard - as she will probably try to hit

you in your weak spots. I guess that is why they have such a vested

interest in keeping your weak spots weak - they make easier targets.

Since somebody brought God into this and everything.... there IS that

part in the Bible where Jesus told the cripple " Pick up your bed and

WALK. "

I mean, really.... maybe when he said " turn the other cheek " he meant

to MOON them... on the way OUT

Free (not a Bible scholar - but I saw the movie)

> That's it, I've had it. My nada sent me another letter (in a

> christmas card, no less) stating that God would show me what was

> memory and what is 'imagined'. She also quoted several bible

> passages that basically said that anyone who hates their mother

can't

> be a 'disciple' of Christ. What a bunch of BS!! I have NEVER said

> that I hated her. In fact, I have always told her that I am doing

> what I am out of love and concern for her welfare. Then, she shows

> the first letter I wrote her where I vented my anger about the

abuse

> I received as a child to my brother. He then called my dad (non-

BP)

> bellowing and demanding to know what was wrong with me and that

> he 'knew for a fact' (he thinks he knows EVERYTHING for a fact -

what

> an idiot!) that NONE of it ever happened because 'he was there'.

> Yeah, right! My dad told him to shut up and that just MAYBE where

> there's smoke, there's fire. He wasn't the 'all-bad' child like I

> was and my nada usually only abused me when no one else was

around.

> Anyway, she didn't bother to show him any of the other letters I'd

> written trying to explain BPD and that I loved her and felt she

> needed therapy. I felt obligated (FOG of course) to TRY to get her

> to understand, although I certainly didn't expect anything to good

to

> come from it. Now she's telling people that I'm really crazy and

> they should pity me. It's nothing more than another one of her

> campaigns of denigration, which has been going on all my life. I

> sent her another letter today telling her that I didn't think it

was

> fair to my brother that she was dragging him into it and that she

was

> being very selfish. I also told her that I was divorcing myself

from

> her out of self-preservation and that I wanted her to leave my

family

> and me alone. I told her I would not read her e-mails or letters

or

> take her phone calls. I give up. I tried and I failed. It's not

my

> fault. I didn't do anything wrong. I feel guilty as if I did,

> though, but I know that feeling is just fleas and I can deal with

> it. I am now looking forward to a peaceful nada-free life. Does

> anyone think that will happen? Is there anything else I can do to

> get her out of my life? I know the stuff will hit the fan, and

while

> I am a little concerned about it, I really don't care. She has

made

> her bed and now she must lie in it. I didn't start this, but I am

> sure as hell going to finish it! She'll go off the deep end and

tell

> everyone what a horrible person and I am and a few of my relatives

> may try to call me to make me feel guilty, but it won't work. I

> don't have to talk to them, in fact, I REFUSE to talk to them.

They

> don't know what I know, and they won't believe me anyway, so what's

> the point?

>

> Tammy

[Guest guest]

> > That's it, I've had it. My nada sent me another letter (in a

> > christmas card, no less) stating that God would show me what was

> > memory and what is 'imagined'. She also quoted several bible

> > passages that basically said that anyone who hates their mother

> can't

> > be a 'disciple' of Christ. What a bunch of BS!! I have NEVER

said

> > that I hated her. In fact, I have always told her that I am

doing

> > what I am out of love and concern for her welfare. Then, she

shows

> > the first letter I wrote her where I vented my anger about the

> abuse

> > I received as a child to my brother. He then called my dad (non-

> BP)

> > bellowing and demanding to know what was wrong with me and that

> > he 'knew for a fact' (he thinks he knows EVERYTHING for a fact -

> what

> > an idiot!) that NONE of it ever happened because 'he was there'.

> > Yeah, right! My dad told him to shut up and that just MAYBE

where

> > there's smoke, there's fire. He wasn't the 'all-bad' child like

I

> > was and my nada usually only abused me when no one else was

> around.

> > Anyway, she didn't bother to show him any of the other letters

I'd

> > written trying to explain BPD and that I loved her and felt she

> > needed therapy. I felt obligated (FOG of course) to TRY to get

her

> > to understand, although I certainly didn't expect anything to

good

> to

> > come from it. Now she's telling people that I'm really crazy and

> > they should pity me. It's nothing more than another one of her

> > campaigns of denigration, which has been going on all my life. I

> > sent her another letter today telling her that I didn't think it

> was

> > fair to my brother that she was dragging him into it and that she

> was

> > being very selfish. I also told her that I was divorcing myself

> from

> > her out of self-preservation and that I wanted her to leave my

> family

> > and me alone. I told her I would not read her e-mails or letters

> or

> > take her phone calls. I give up. I tried and I failed. It's

not

> my

> > fault. I didn't do anything wrong. I feel guilty as if I did,

> > though, but I know that feeling is just fleas and I can deal with

> > it. I am now looking forward to a peaceful nada-free life. Does

> > anyone think that will happen? Is there anything else I can do

to

> > get her out of my life? I know the stuff will hit the fan, and

> while

> > I am a little concerned about it, I really don't care. She has

> made

> > her bed and now she must lie in it. I didn't start this, but I

am

> > sure as hell going to finish it! She'll go off the deep end and

> tell

> > everyone what a horrible person and I am and a few of my

relatives

> > may try to call me to make me feel guilty, but it won't work. I

> > don't have to talk to them, in fact, I REFUSE to talk to them.

> They

> > don't know what I know, and they won't believe me anyway, so

what's

> > the point?

> >

> > Tammy

[Guest guest]

Wow! I'm just learning about this stuff(BP). It blows me away how

what you said could be my life right now,too. I geuss it wasn't

just me all thoughs years. When I hear you talk about it helps me

realize what was really going on. That my thinking is not off.

That even though I could not explain it, things were seriously

messed up and I don't have to live this way. Thanks.

> That's it, I've had it. My nada sent me another letter (in a

> christmas card, no less) stating that God would show me what was

> memory and what is 'imagined'. She also quoted several bible

> passages that basically said that anyone who hates their mother

can't

> be a 'disciple' of Christ. What a bunch of BS!! I have NEVER

said

> that I hated her. In fact, I have always told her that I am doing

> what I am out of love and concern for her welfare. Then, she

shows

> the first letter I wrote her where I vented my anger about the

abuse

> I received as a child to my brother. He then called my dad (non-

BP)

> bellowing and demanding to know what was wrong with me and that

> he 'knew for a fact' (he thinks he knows EVERYTHING for a fact -

what

> an idiot!) that NONE of it ever happened because 'he was there'.

> Yeah, right! My dad told him to shut up and that just MAYBE where

> there's smoke, there's fire. He wasn't the 'all-bad' child like I

> was and my nada usually only abused me when no one else was

around.

> Anyway, she didn't bother to show him any of the other letters I'd

> written trying to explain BPD and that I loved her and felt she

> needed therapy. I felt obligated (FOG of course) to TRY to get

her

> to understand, although I certainly didn't expect anything to good

to

> come from it. Now she's telling people that I'm really crazy and

> they should pity me. It's nothing more than another one of her

> campaigns of denigration, which has been going on all my life. I

> sent her another letter today telling her that I didn't think it

was

> fair to my brother that she was dragging him into it and that she

was

> being very selfish. I also told her that I was divorcing myself

from

> her out of self-preservation and that I wanted her to leave my

family

> and me alone. I told her I would not read her e-mails or letters

or

> take her phone calls. I give up. I tried and I failed. It's not

my

> fault. I didn't do anything wrong. I feel guilty as if I did,

> though, but I know that feeling is just fleas and I can deal with

> it. I am now looking forward to a peaceful nada-free life. Does

> anyone think that will happen? Is there anything else I can do to

> get her out of my life? I know the stuff will hit the fan, and

while

> I am a little concerned about it, I really don't care. She has

made

> her bed and now she must lie in it. I didn't start this, but I am

> sure as hell going to finish it! She'll go off the deep end and

tell

> everyone what a horrible person and I am and a few of my relatives

> may try to call me to make me feel guilty, but it won't work. I

> don't have to talk to them, in fact, I REFUSE to talk to them.

They

> don't know what I know, and they won't believe me anyway, so

what's

> the point?

>

> Tammy

[Guest guest]

> > That's it, I've had it. My nada sent me another letter (in a

> > christmas card, no less) stating that God would show me what was

> > memory and what is 'imagined'. She also quoted several bible

> > passages that basically said that anyone who hates their mother

> can't

> > be a 'disciple' of Christ. What a bunch of BS!! I have NEVER

> said

> > that I hated her. In fact, I have always told her that I am

doing

> > what I am out of love and concern for her welfare. Then, she

> shows

> > the first letter I wrote her where I vented my anger about the

> abuse

> > I received as a child to my brother. He then called my dad (non-

> BP)

> > bellowing and demanding to know what was wrong with me and that

> > he 'knew for a fact' (he thinks he knows EVERYTHING for a fact -

> what

> > an idiot!) that NONE of it ever happened because 'he was there'.

> > Yeah, right! My dad told him to shut up and that just MAYBE

where

> > there's smoke, there's fire. He wasn't the 'all-bad' child like

I

> > was and my nada usually only abused me when no one else was

> around.

> > Anyway, she didn't bother to show him any of the other letters

I'd

> > written trying to explain BPD and that I loved her and felt she

> > needed therapy. I felt obligated (FOG of course) to TRY to get

> her

> > to understand, although I certainly didn't expect anything to

good

> to

> > come from it. Now she's telling people that I'm really crazy and

> > they should pity me. It's nothing more than another one of her

> > campaigns of denigration, which has been going on all my life. I

> > sent her another letter today telling her that I didn't think it

> was

> > fair to my brother that she was dragging him into it and that she

> was

> > being very selfish. I also told her that I was divorcing myself

> from

> > her out of self-preservation and that I wanted her to leave my

> family

> > and me alone. I told her I would not read her e-mails or letters

> or

> > take her phone calls. I give up. I tried and I failed. It's

not

> my

> > fault. I didn't do anything wrong. I feel guilty as if I did,

> > though, but I know that feeling is just fleas and I can deal with

> > it. I am now looking forward to a peaceful nada-free life. Does

> > anyone think that will happen? Is there anything else I can do

to

> > get her out of my life? I know the stuff will hit the fan, and

> while

> > I am a little concerned about it, I really don't care. She has

> made

> > her bed and now she must lie in it. I didn't start this, but I

am

> > sure as hell going to finish it! She'll go off the deep end and

> tell

> > everyone what a horrible person and I am and a few of my

relatives

> > may try to call me to make me feel guilty, but it won't work. I

> > don't have to talk to them, in fact, I REFUSE to talk to them.

> They

> > don't know what I know, and they won't believe me anyway, so

> what's

> > the point?

> >

> > Tammy