Re: About me and mom

[Guest guest]

---

That is part of my dilema. The doctor wants to go along without

giving a definite answer about them going home. He is reluctant to

say she may never go home but that is how he feels. The plan was

supposed to be that after Mom's hip surgery and recuperation they

would go home together. He needs help all through the day so she will

not be up to that. So he would have to stay there. I have told her

that he wouldn't be able to go home her answer is that everyone says

that but her. She says that she would never tell him he was too much

for her to care for and that he couldn't go home. To take her home

and leave him would devastate him. Neither of them are saying too

much about going home. I think since Mom is with him Dad is okay with

being there. I feel that we are not giving her a chance to be at home

with Senior services and a health care person. The fly in the

ointment is that there is a certain amount of paranoia that goes with

her halucinations. She is unable to tell dreams from reality. She has

dreamed that Dad is having an affair with a 19 year old and that they

are remodeling the third floor of the house to live in. Yes I do see

the humor in that except she truly believes it. Even now with both of

them together. The answere is certainly not an easy one to figure

out. I think she might agree to stay there for him. They are having

an evaluation meeting about them next week so I will know more. To

have the discussion with her means that we all (me, doctor, nursing

staff) should agree that she could go home and be prepared to arrange

it if that is what she wants. So I have not had that discussion yet.

Thanks for your prompt reply. Rene

In LBDcaregivers , " Courage " <gaat@v...> wrote:

> Rene,

> I'm sorry to hear that you have been dealing with both your parents

being

> ill. Is there a way that your mom can return home with some in-

home care if

> this is something she would want to do?

> Courage

>

> About me and mom

>

>

> >I just found your group and here I am. I am Rene and 64 years old

and

> >I retired as of Nov 1. On Nov 25th my Dad (92) was admitted to the

> >hospital went to recuperate at a nursing home and now it looks as

> >though he won't be coming home. His short term memory is just

about

> >non existent and has an incontinence problem so there he is. In Feb

> >Mom had hip replacement surgery (arthritis) went to the same

Nursing

> >home for recuperation and they really don't want her home by

herself.

> >My mother had a lumpectomy 3 years ago and has not been herself

> >since. Or maybe just more family is noticing. I live 180 miles

away.

> >There was confusion mostly about appointments and inability to

learn

> >new things. Of course she was fine at the Dr's so what he didn't

see

> >he didn't treat. I kept telling him she was not herself but. Last

> >year in Jan. She began to have halucinations. It took awhile to get

> >set up to have her see a neurologist. Again what they don't see

they

> >don't treat. She was diagnosed with Parkinson's and treated with

> >Seroquel. Worked somewhat. It was hard for me to know too much

since

> >I was working and so far away. When she was admitted to the Nursing

> >home she was seen by a physcologist. He called to talk to me about

> >her and when he realized that the confusion etc came and went along

> >with other stuff he suggested Lewy body disease. I am not sure if

> >that is his official diagnosis but I find more things that fit her

> >situation on the LBD sites than on the others. I hope to see him

> >myself soon. I am very happy with her family doctor who calls me at

> >my home to discus the folks. I have a real problem with the idea of

> >her staying there. He thinks that it is a real tough call since he

> >considers her borderline. I feel he wants me to say that i want her

> >to stay in the nursing home. I know my Dad should stay but... I

> >don't know if she would leave him if it was offered to her. They

are

> >in the same room and everyone else seems to think that this makes

> >everything wonderful. She wants to plan dinners such as Easter and

> >to do laundry and be active. I just think of all that she has lost

in

> >such a short time. She can't even walk over and open an outside

door

> >to see what the day is like. Yep, I am really upset about this. I

> >didn't cry at all last week. This week I am planning to go for

> >Mother's Day so my thoughts are with them practically all the time.

> >Much boo hooing. My husband is great and is very supportive.

> >Well that's it for today.

> >Rene

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

---

Pat, where are you in South Carolina? My inlaws (first marriage) and

many relatives lived in . The rest of the family live near

Walterboro in Round O. I was so very lucky to have all of them in my

life they added so much. I have many happy memories of visits.

Rene

In LBDcaregivers , Pat Caldwell

<patstan19401928@y...> wrote:

> Rene, thanks for asking. Stan can do some things for himself. He

showers by himself

> and I help him dry off. I have to help him dress. He still cuts the

grass on the riding lawnmower, occasionally hitting the fence or a

bush. He no longer drives. I suspect he

> had a problem 3 or 4 years before dx'd, but I did not know what was

going on. The biggest problem he has besides his not being able to

get around good, is his not knowing me. Last night he had come to

the den to sleep on the couch and turn on the

> TV, so when I got up he say's, I wondered when you girls were going

to get up. I

> always say theres no one here but me and you. He says, thats what

they all say. That's

> my world, I'm trying to get use to it, but after nearly 2 years,

it's still hard. Thanks for listening. LOL Pat,in SC

>

> rdlemac <rdmacomber@v...> wrote:

> --

> Thanks for the response, i would be interested in his progress and

> how long things have been progressing.

>

>

> - In LBDcaregivers , Pat Caldwell

>

[Guest guest]

Rene,

Sorry to hear about your parents. It is difficult I know. My mother was

diagnosed with LBD 2 years ago and passed this last Jan. Sometimes NH is

exactly where your parents need to be. Esp. since you live so far away. Do

you have any siblings who could help out. You are lucky to have such good

doctors.

M

Indiana

>

>Reply-To: LBDcaregivers

>To: LBDcaregivers

>Subject: About me and mom

>Date: Wed, 05 May 2004 14:18:24 -0000

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>

>I just found your group and here I am. I am Rene and 64 years old and

>I retired as of Nov 1. On Nov 25th my Dad (92) was admitted to the

>hospital went to recuperate at a nursing home and now it looks as

>though he won't be coming home. His short term memory is just about

>non existent and has an incontinence problem so there he is. In Feb

>Mom had hip replacement surgery (arthritis) went to the same Nursing

>home for recuperation and they really don't want her home by herself.

>My mother had a lumpectomy 3 years ago and has not been herself

>since. Or maybe just more family is noticing. I live 180 miles away.

>There was confusion mostly about appointments and inability to learn

>new things. Of course she was fine at the Dr's so what he didn't see

>he didn't treat. I kept telling him she was not herself but. Last

>year in Jan. She began to have halucinations. It took awhile to get

>set up to have her see a neurologist. Again what they don't see they

>don't treat. She was diagnosed with Parkinson's and treated with

>Seroquel. Worked somewhat. It was hard for me to know too much since

>I was working and so far away. When she was admitted to the Nursing

>home she was seen by a physcologist. He called to talk to me about

>her and when he realized that the confusion etc came and went along

>with other stuff he suggested Lewy body disease. I am not sure if

>that is his official diagnosis but I find more things that fit her

>situation on the LBD sites than on the others. I hope to see him

>myself soon. I am very happy with her family doctor who calls me at

>my home to discus the folks. I have a real problem with the idea of

>her staying there. He thinks that it is a real tough call since he

>considers her borderline. I feel he wants me to say that i want her

>to stay in the nursing home. I know my Dad should stay but... I

>don't know if she would leave him if it was offered to her. They are

>in the same room and everyone else seems to think that this makes

>everything wonderful. She wants to plan dinners such as Easter and

>to do laundry and be active. I just think of all that she has lost in

>such a short time. She can't even walk over and open an outside door

>to see what the day is like. Yep, I am really upset about this. I

>didn't cry at all last week. This week I am planning to go for

>Mother's Day so my thoughts are with them practically all the time.

>Much boo hooing. My husband is great and is very supportive.

>Well that's it for today.

>Rene

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Hi Rene

I am the keeper of the list of caregivers locations. Please let me know

where you are and I will add you to the list which can be found in the files

section of the LBD site. My email is skward2@....

Kath

About me and mom

> I just found your group and here I am. I am Rene and 64 years old and

> I retired as of Nov 1. On Nov 25th my Dad (92) was admitted to the

> hospital went to recuperate at a nursing home and now it looks as

> though he won't be coming home. His short term memory is just about

> non existent and has an incontinence problem so there he is. In Feb

> Mom had hip replacement surgery (arthritis) went to the same Nursing

> home for recuperation and they really don't want her home by herself.

> My mother had a lumpectomy 3 years ago and has not been herself

> since. Or maybe just more family is noticing. I live 180 miles away.

> There was confusion mostly about appointments and inability to learn

> new things. Of course she was fine at the Dr's so what he didn't see

> he didn't treat. I kept telling him she was not herself but. Last

> year in Jan. She began to have halucinations. It took awhile to get

> set up to have her see a neurologist. Again what they don't see they

> don't treat. She was diagnosed with Parkinson's and treated with

> Seroquel. Worked somewhat. It was hard for me to know too much since

> I was working and so far away. When she was admitted to the Nursing

> home she was seen by a physcologist. He called to talk to me about

> her and when he realized that the confusion etc came and went along

> with other stuff he suggested Lewy body disease. I am not sure if

> that is his official diagnosis but I find more things that fit her

> situation on the LBD sites than on the others. I hope to see him

> myself soon. I am very happy with her family doctor who calls me at

> my home to discus the folks. I have a real problem with the idea of

> her staying there. He thinks that it is a real tough call since he

> considers her borderline. I feel he wants me to say that i want her

> to stay in the nursing home. I know my Dad should stay but... I

> don't know if she would leave him if it was offered to her. They are

> in the same room and everyone else seems to think that this makes

> everything wonderful. She wants to plan dinners such as Easter and

> to do laundry and be active. I just think of all that she has lost in

> such a short time. She can't even walk over and open an outside door

> to see what the day is like. Yep, I am really upset about this. I

> didn't cry at all last week. This week I am planning to go for

> Mother's Day so my thoughts are with them practically all the time.

> Much boo hooing. My husband is great and is very supportive.

> Well that's it for today.

> Rene

>

>

>

>

>

> Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

>

>

>