Guest guest Posted December 15, 2003 Report Share Posted December 15, 2003 Dan I didn't mean to sound simplistic, or minimize the horrors that revisit us, keep us working the rest of our lives. The analogy of 'pulling myself up by the bootstraps' sounds like an ultimatum to me too. (Get normal, and do it quickly.) I can be very opinionated about 'normal' these days...all of the 'normal' people I know are pretty boring; not nearly as insightful, empathic or interesting as people who have a history -- an examined life. Like you I am physically free, and still struggle trusting my confidence in myself. I understand your 'time bomb.' It took me many years to really 'get life'...that my life is valuable and worth living, and worth laughing every day about something...even if my own mother doesn't. Take good care, Carol > Dan, you ARE free. Seems the choice really is yours. It's easy to say, a lot of people have told me that. Yes, physically I am away from my mother. She and other persecutors have no more power over me. I keep telling myself that I choose to be free, to put all that behind me. The time bomb she put in me is still ticking. Whenever I try to defuse it, it destroys me a little more. > " I think I'm just too damaged to function like a normal human. " Yes, I feel like that. My wife thinks that too. She is watching to see if I can pull myself up by the bootstraps. I feel that if I cannot do it I am expendable to her. - Dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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