Re: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in KO's

[Guest guest]

>Relax! There's no such thing as looking a little " out of place "

here! LOL! We're all a bit off the wall! Some of our nadas are the

screaming crazy types and some are the sugary sweet martyrish types,

but abuse is abuse, no matter what TONE it is delivered in. Since

most BP's never seek treatment, very few if any of us can say for

certain that our nadas and fadas are BP, but if they're behavior is

consistent with BP, then it is safe to assume they are. My nada will

never seek treatment for her problem, but I know she has BP even

though I also know it will never be confirmed by a formal diagnosis.

I was also diagnosed with PTSD last summer because of my nadas

abuse. I think all abused children experience PTSD, but we KOs seem

to experience it more severely because there is no consistency in our

childhoods. BPs are so unpredictable. I think it's different for

kids who are abused consistently because as awful as it is for them,

they know what to expect. My nada could be sweet and loving one

minute and a monster the next. It was so terrifying not knowing when

she was going to 'turn'.

I think the concept is universal for all KOs. I too have strange

triggers. Simple things like a pair of boots can set me off into a

depression because my nada once reluctantly bought me a pair of boots

I really wanted, then she put them in the trash and beat me because

she said I threw them away. I'm sure you have similar experiences

that are just so overwhelmingly unexplainable that you start to

question your own sanity. I know I do. Why would someone do

something like that to a child? If you asked her about it, she would

of course deny it and say that I am the one who's lying, but it DID

happen. I remember every horrific detail.

I hope this helps satisfy your curiosity. I've enjoyed reading your

posts and sharing with you.

Love and Blessings,

Tammy

First, I feel that I must make an explanation (for fear of being

> misunderstood). I've posted some excerpts of letters from my mom

and

> asked for your input on a couple of occasions (receiving very

helpful

> input, too, I might add). I was asking for help in understanding

> some of my mom's current behavior toward me. I'm afraid that it

> maybe has made me look a little " out of place " here, and hasn't

> represented her necessarily as a BP. However, her over-all

patterns

> of behavior for my whole life have matched very closely all that I

> have read/heard about BP's, and my personal reaction to her is

> consistent with that of being a KO. There's definitely more

> regarding my nada that I've shared about here.

>

> That being said, I was wondering if anyone can inform me about PTSD

> in KO's. Is it the same as with any child who has been

> verbally/emotionally abused, or is there something special about

BPD

> that causes the kids to experience PTSD to a higher degree than

> perhaps from other types of abusive parenting?

>

> I have PTSD, and it's interesting what sets it off; sometimes it's

> what would appear to others as " nice " things (like toys). I

> attribute that to the unique aspect of BPD that makes kindness just

> as dangerous (or more-so) as the rages. But, perhaps that's just

my

> personal experience of it and isn't a universal concept for all

KO's.

>

> Just curious! Thank you!

> Kya-Amorita

[Guest guest]

Hi Kya-Amorita

I don't know much about PTSD in KO's but I was wanting to look up

some stuff on PTSD for myself and found this to be a literal gold

mine.

Hope something there helps!

Sincerely,

http://www.bpdresources.com/ptsd.html

[Guest guest]

I think all abused children experience PTSD, but we KOs seem

> to experience it more severely because there is no consistency in

our childhoods. BPs are so unpredictable. I think it's different

for kids who are abused consistently because as awful as it is for

them, they know what to expect. My nada could be sweet and loving

one minute and a monster the next. It was so terrifying not knowing

when she was going to 'turn'.

If you asked her about it, she would of course deny it and say that I

am the one who's lying, but it DID happen.

Thank you. That makes a whole lot of sense! I feel like my whole

life I've been seeing reality, but because the most obvious things in

the world were denied by my mom, and everything was so inconsistent

and confusing, I just assumed I must be wrong somewhere. I've kept

my head buried in a fog, Zoned-out, too much because I could never

trust my basic senses (such as sight, sound, basic emotional

reactions, etc). It's a really strange thing, and I can't explain it

in words. I know what it feels like, but I can't begin to describe

it. But you put it in words that do make a lot of sense to me. And,

thanks for sharing, and for the encouragement!

Kya-Amorita

[Guest guest]

>

> Thank you. That makes a whole lot of sense! I feel like my whole

> life I've been seeing reality, but because the most obvious things

in

> the world were denied by my mom, and everything was so inconsistent

> and confusing, I just assumed I must be wrong somewhere. I've kept

> my head buried in a fog, Zoned-out, too much because I could never

> trust my basic senses (such as sight, sound, basic emotional

> reactions, etc). It's a really strange thing, and I can't explain

it

> in words.

The best I can do to explain it in words is that it's like Alice in

Wonderland (I've always HATED that story). Nothing is what it seems

and just when you think you've got it figured out, here comes the

Queen yelling " off with her head! " for either the slightest

infraction or no reason at all that you can understand. It's deeply

scary shit if you ask me. The only thing worse than the bizarre

behavior of a BP is the thought of telling anyone and expecting them

to believe you. I never told ANYONE until last summer, and even now,

there are few people I share my experience with because too many

people I know have 'bought the farm' as my therapist puts it. In

other words, they believe the image she wants them to believe, not

the reality of who she is. I am steadfast in my conviction that I

was never wrong about what happened. It happened. Just because she

lies and denies it doesn't change that fact. It's a good feeling to

stand up for yourself against impossible odds. God has always guided

me and He certainly knows the truth and that's all that matters to me.

I'm glad I was able to help. Let's keep sharing these feelings. It

is so validating sharing on this site. It's the only place where I

know strangers will believe me and that is more helpful than anyone

could ever know.

Love and Blessings,

Tammy