guilt

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

Here it is Christmas Eve and I am having more mood swings than I can

to talk about. Recently, after a year in 1/2 of not talking to my

nada she has decided that we should (here we go with that phrase

again)...wipe the slate screen and resume a mother/daughter

relationship. Usually after being away from her I run back like the

dutiful daughter but this time I am 35, have two kids, a good

marriage and no desire to see her or welcome her nasty/craziness

back into my life. She sent me a mushy Thanksgiving card after

which I called her and told her in the nicest of ways that I didn't

want to have a relationship with her...especially since when I tryed

to talk to her about what happenned it was once again like we

weren't even talking about the same situation....of course she was a

major innocent victim in her version...she ended that first

conversation a little nasty then...much to my suprise she sends me

another card a few days later....and now a sentimental Christmas

card that I got yesterday....I really, really can't stand what a

jerk she is, I'm having a get together tonight which I was looking

forward to but now I'm nervous she will show up and make a major

scene because she is just angry and crazy enough to do that. The

bottom line here now is that she has turned me into the bad guy

again, now I'm making the decision not to see her and she can

comfortably sit in the victim seat. I wish she would disappear from

the face of the earth....she is the meanest, bossiest, most

controlling person I know and she thinks really believes she is kind

and giving....I myself feel very victimized and angry right now

because she has the power to get me this scared and anxious even

when she isn't around....I feel like a prisoner....

Just needed to vent,

Thanks for listening

Penny