Re: Is this a good thing?

[Guest guest]

Vicki,

When I went into therapy with my BP ex-wife, the therapist said that

I should be identified as the patient for insurance purposes. I

resented it at the time, but I went along with it. I thought he was

saying that it was I who was screwing up the marriage. He really did

me a lot of harm by concentrating on what I could do to improve

things, when in fact there was nothing I could do. He helped keep me

stuck as a victim.

Now I understand that it is correct to identify the KO as the

patient. There is little that can be done for the BP in most cases.

The healing must concentrate on helping the KO to recover from the

injuries inflicted by the BP, and to learn to protect herself from

the BP. Joint therapy is valuable only if the therapist is able to

use it to see what the BP is doing.

- Dan

[Guest guest]

Dan said

He really did > me a lot of harm by concentrating on what I could do

to improve > things, when in fact there was nothing I could do. He

helped keep me > stuck as a victim.

Hi Dan,

I agree with you and see that coming, we will not be weeting together

again and I will be very clear with the therapist about my reasons

for being there.

It is so disconcerning to have a conversation with my mother, she

told me something that should make me happy last night and instead I

woke up in the middle of the night thinking " was she telling the

truth "

What I hope to achive is having people who interact with my mother

guestion what she has to say to them. In particular my daughters.

Happy Holidays and thanks for you input.

Vicki