Checking in at the NH

[Guest guest]

Dear Coyote:

I am so glad it went so well in the nh. Your dad knows what is going on and

is settled well. Very good. My best to all of you, love,

Josie

[Guest guest]

Hi guys. Just have to let how things went today. I have to tell you

all, it was just TOO easy!! Dad seemed to like his room, he has a

very nice QUIET room-mate (although the cost of private is not an

issue, we thought it would be less lonely for him to have someone).

There were some people across the hall making a lot of noise...thank

GOD he didnt get them for room mates! Even he commented that he wont

be able to sleep with all that noise...which was my confirmation the

he KNEW he was here to stay. So we went through the whole big entry

process, forms, meeting people, forms, started to bawl my eyes out

and felt like an idiot but thankfully Dad did not notice, labelling

his clothing, more forms....eventually it was dinner time and we

took him down to the dining room and got him settled. Asked him if

he was ok with everything, and he said " yes, everything is

good " ...then I just said " ok, then we will come back and see you

tomorrow " and he said ok. That was it.

Told Mom we would schedule tomorrows visit before lunch so we could

use the same food distraction when we try to leave. Whatever works,

huh?

Coyote

[Guest guest]

Coyote:

That's what we do too. Whomever it is that is visiting him wheels

him to the dining room and gets him settled, says his/her goodbyes to

him and then leaves while he's eating. It rarely becomes an issue if

he's distracted by something else.

Was it difficult leaving him there? My sister and my mom had a

really difficult time leaving my dad there. I was a bit more

accepting because at that point my dad was hardly able to move on his

own anymore and my mom was also becoming ill while she was tending to

him. Like you, I had confirmation of him needing to be there.

Funny, it's harder now for me to accept the fact that he'll be there

for the rest of his days than it was on that first day. You'll have

to let me know if you feel the same way.

The worst is over though Coyote. He is settled as much as he can be

on his first day and he appears to be accepting of his being there.

As far as I can see, that's a heck of a lot better than those who are

left in the nursing homes and are angry and bitter about being

there.

I hope tomorrow goes just as smoothly. I know how disconcerting it

is when things go too smoothly. Like you, it makes me wonder when

the other shoe will drop. But wouldn't it be nice if this incredibly

hard thing you and your mom did today would continue to be easy for

all those involved. It would be somewhat like life was before LBD.

Heavenly thought...

Have a good night and great day tomorrow,

Abby

[Guest guest]

Coyote,

When my MIL went to assisted living we were very worried and

concerned. ....then even more when she went to NH. However, she had

lived with her MIL who had been ill and never wanted to live with one

of her children. It was a huge relief for her to move into the NH to

have 24/7 access to someone and to not trouble her children with her

little problems etc. While we were there all the time and definitely

when she needed us...she liked the freedom of not having the family

around to worry about her all the time. I hope that your father is

feeling some comfort and relief in his new situation. Most of all, I

hope you are at peace with this decision. You have done the best

thing for him and for you. It isn't easy...but good decisions are

frequently the most difficult ones. I'll keep you and your dad in my

thoughts!

Lynn

> Hi guys. Just have to let how things went today. I have to tell you

> all, it was just TOO easy!! Dad seemed to like his room, he has a

> very nice QUIET room-mate (although the cost of private is not an

> issue, we thought it would be less lonely for him to have someone).

> There were some people across the hall making a lot of

noise...thank

> GOD he didnt get them for room mates! Even he commented that he

wont

> be able to sleep with all that noise...which was my confirmation

the

> he KNEW he was here to stay. So we went through the whole big entry

> process, forms, meeting people, forms, started to bawl my eyes out

> and felt like an idiot but thankfully Dad did not notice, labelling

> his clothing, more forms....eventually it was dinner time and we

> took him down to the dining room and got him settled. Asked him if

> he was ok with everything, and he said " yes, everything is

> good " ...then I just said " ok, then we will come back and see you

> tomorrow " and he said ok. That was it.

> Told Mom we would schedule tomorrows visit before lunch so we could

> use the same food distraction when we try to leave. Whatever works,

> huh?

> Coyote

[Guest guest]

Hi - I've been thinking of you and your parents today. I'm glad today

went well. This can be a positive step for each of you, even if some

moments don't seem so. It took my mother about 4 to 6 weeks to settle

in to the routine of her nh unit. Her caregivers are wonderful - with

her and each of the other residents. I've enjoyed getting to know her

fellow residents - they are so sweet and love attention. When a new

resident arrives they all have to adjust to someone new in their home

and then they all begin to settle down. I hadn't anticipated that the

fuller dimension of caring about each of the residents and finding

common bonds with their family members.

Tonight, as I was saying goodnight to my mother she asked me where

this place is...her own private room with all of her personal photos

and items that stir memories...where she has lived for 1 & 1/2 years. I

have developed a litany of statements to her common questions and to

this I reply, " This is your very own room in a wonderful place where

you are safe and warm and loved. All of the people who care for you

here are my friends and they each know how to reach me if you need

me. I always know right where you are and I live only a few minutes

away and I will be back to see you tomorrow night. Someone will be in

soon to check on you and help you get ready for bed. Sweet dreams, I

love you. " Sometimes, as I am leaving, I hear her say as I leave her

room, " I love you, too. You are a good daughter. Drive safely. " And I

am and I do. She continues each day to teach me important life

lessons...

Take Care - Deb

> Hi guys. Just have to let how things went today. I have to tell you

> all, it was just TOO easy!! Dad seemed to like his room, he has a

> very nice QUIET room-mate (although the cost of private is not an

> issue, we thought it would be less lonely for him to have someone).

> There were some people across the hall making a lot of

noise...thank

> GOD he didnt get them for room mates! Even he commented that he

wont

> be able to sleep with all that noise...which was my confirmation

the

> he KNEW he was here to stay. So we went through the whole big entry

> process, forms, meeting people, forms, started to bawl my eyes out

> and felt like an idiot but thankfully Dad did not notice, labelling

> his clothing, more forms....eventually it was dinner time and we

> took him down to the dining room and got him settled. Asked him if

> he was ok with everything, and he said " yes, everything is

> good " ...then I just said " ok, then we will come back and see you

> tomorrow " and he said ok. That was it.

> Told Mom we would schedule tomorrows visit before lunch so we could

> use the same food distraction when we try to leave. Whatever works,

> huh?

> Coyote

[Guest guest]

Coyote,

Nearly bawled reading your post. It has got to be hard leaving them for the

first time even if they are ok with it. Hang in there and I hope it all

works out beautifully for your dad.

Courage

Checking in at the NH

>Hi guys. Just have to let how things went today. I have to tell you

>all, it was just TOO easy!! Dad seemed to like his room, he has a

>very nice QUIET room-mate (although the cost of private is not an

>issue, we thought it would be less lonely for him to have someone).

>There were some people across the hall making a lot of noise...thank

>GOD he didnt get them for room mates! Even he commented that he wont

>be able to sleep with all that noise...which was my confirmation the

>he KNEW he was here to stay. So we went through the whole big entry

>process, forms, meeting people, forms, started to bawl my eyes out

>and felt like an idiot but thankfully Dad did not notice, labelling

>his clothing, more forms....eventually it was dinner time and we

>took him down to the dining room and got him settled. Asked him if

>he was ok with everything, and he said " yes, everything is

>good " ...then I just said " ok, then we will come back and see you

>tomorrow " and he said ok. That was it.

>Told Mom we would schedule tomorrows visit before lunch so we could

>use the same food distraction when we try to leave. Whatever works,

>huh?

>Coyote

>

>

>

>

>Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh Deb,

What a loving daughter you are. The response to your mom brought tears to

my eyes and her response to you was wonderful. I wish that were the way it

went with my mother when she went into the retirement home but alas as usual

she was her most difficult self. She has watched and read many horror

stories about nursing homes and the care provided (or lack thereof) and can

only associate that this is what will happen to her. Like many with LBD she

" overreacts " to minor things making them a huge deal. She is at home now

and unless there is a tragedy of sorts, I don't see her going anywhere. If

she were to have a bad fall and could no longer be taken care of at home, I

know we are in for another bout of hell, as she would never adjust, never go

willingly. She cried for almost 8 months everyday begging me to take her

home, and it was not perfect but was certainly not a " bad " place.

Kath

Re: Checking in at the NH

> Hi - I've been thinking of you and your parents today. I'm glad today

> went well. This can be a positive step for each of you, even if some

> moments don't seem so. It took my mother about 4 to 6 weeks to settle

> in to the routine of her nh unit. Her caregivers are wonderful - with

> her and each of the other residents. I've enjoyed getting to know her

> fellow residents - they are so sweet and love attention. When a new

> resident arrives they all have to adjust to someone new in their home

> and then they all begin to settle down. I hadn't anticipated that the

> fuller dimension of caring about each of the residents and finding

> common bonds with their family members.

>

> Tonight, as I was saying goodnight to my mother she asked me where

> this place is...her own private room with all of her personal photos

> and items that stir memories...where she has lived for 1 & 1/2 years. I

> have developed a litany of statements to her common questions and to

> this I reply, " This is your very own room in a wonderful place where

> you are safe and warm and loved. All of the people who care for you

> here are my friends and they each know how to reach me if you need

> me. I always know right where you are and I live only a few minutes

> away and I will be back to see you tomorrow night. Someone will be in

> soon to check on you and help you get ready for bed. Sweet dreams, I

> love you. " Sometimes, as I am leaving, I hear her say as I leave her

> room, " I love you, too. You are a good daughter. Drive safely. " And I

> am and I do. She continues each day to teach me important life

> lessons...

>

> Take Care - Deb

>

>

> > Hi guys. Just have to let how things went today. I have to tell you

> > all, it was just TOO easy!! Dad seemed to like his room, he has a

> > very nice QUIET room-mate (although the cost of private is not an

> > issue, we thought it would be less lonely for him to have someone).

> > There were some people across the hall making a lot of

> noise...thank

> > GOD he didnt get them for room mates! Even he commented that he

> wont

> > be able to sleep with all that noise...which was my confirmation

> the

> > he KNEW he was here to stay. So we went through the whole big entry

> > process, forms, meeting people, forms, started to bawl my eyes out

> > and felt like an idiot but thankfully Dad did not notice, labelling

> > his clothing, more forms....eventually it was dinner time and we

> > took him down to the dining room and got him settled. Asked him if

> > he was ok with everything, and he said " yes, everything is

> > good " ...then I just said " ok, then we will come back and see you

> > tomorrow " and he said ok. That was it.

> > Told Mom we would schedule tomorrows visit before lunch so we could

> > use the same food distraction when we try to leave. Whatever works,

> > huh?

> > Coyote

>

>

>

> Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

>

>

>