Re: What is the funniest story??

[Guest guest]

Hi Oldmominor,

This was a good proposal. I am kinda laughing that it looks like none of us have

any funny stories.

I am stretching my memory and I can't come up with any. Wow, even that my mother

has only a very vague sense of humor, I can't remember anything funny ever

happening in regards to her. Hmmmm

The only one that crosses my mind, but it was only funny to her.

We were at the lake one weekend and she took me and my younger brother out in

the boat, my father's sister went along. When we returned to the dock, my

brother jumped out to get the rope to secure the boat. He would have been about

7. Somehow, his lower leg was in front of the dock. His leg got smashed between

the boat and the dock. She was giggling to my aunt, just giggling that little

girl giggle. Showed no concern of what kind of damage this might have done to my

brothrs leg. I was horrified - could feel his " pain " , can still almost see that

sad little look on his face. She was still giggling with my aunt and before she

was out of the boat told us not to tell our father. Well, guess who giddily told

my Father? She did. This is the kind of sick little girl attention she always

sought from him. She was a lot like the woman in fatal attraction in her

relationship with my father.

So, I am sad to say this is the only story I can think of with any humor

involved in regards to something funny. It was not funny. She perceived it as

funny.

But thanks Oldmominor, for giving me another the opportunity to see another

trait in my nada. Hugs, Trompalina

> I thought in the interest of fun and lightheartedness, that I would

> ask this question. What is the funniest story you have to tell about

> BP loved one. Maybe it will help to find humor in our situations as

> well as all the horrible feelings we get. I hope no one feels this

> is inappropriate...but sometimes it helps me to be able to laugh some

> things off.

>

> I will start....

>

> My story to share is not really mine but was shared to me from my

> sister. Her and her husband took my nada for tests for a thyroid

> condition at a hospital. When she came out she was furious! My

> brother in law asked her what was the matter. For the longest time

> she wouldn't tell them what happened. Finally after several minutes

> of begging etc. she told them that the doctor she saw suggested that

> she see a psychiatrist. My sister, knowing that this would be a good

> thing, asked my nada why. My nada then related to them that she told

> the doctor she thought her husband was gay, because his penis seemed

> to have changed in shape. Could you imagine!! My brother in law

> couldn't hold it back anymore...and had to pull the car over, stepped

> outside and busted up laughing! Nada swears that it changed and of

> course since he didn't want to sleep with her anymore ...that he had

> turned gay overnight.

>

> Ok...your turn! What is your funniest story...

[Guest guest]

Hi. I can't think of a story that is funny without also being

painful, embarrasing,humiliating or sad. However, it reminded me of

the fact that my mother rarely ever laughed. She was always either

angry, restless, driven, raging, crying, etc., but rarely laughing.

Does that ring true for others as well? I agree that it is good to

laugh and to keep things light especially when the pain/grief/anger

is intense.....

[Guest guest]

That would have to be the time my mom, drunk dad and stepfather had a

fist-fight in our front yard.......Oh, wait. You said FUNNIEST

story.....

Hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm. The absolute only thing I can think of is when I

was in 6th grade and we went on a class trip to Washington D.C. My

mom came along as a chaperone (what a joke) and while we were in a

rest stop some older girls from another school squirted black ink all

over my friend's sweater. She began to cry. Her sweater was brand

new and pale pink. Well, my mom asked what happened and my friend

relayed the incident and even pointed out the girls (who were

starting to run away). My mom went charging over to them and

screamed, " OK girls! Which one of you has the ink!!! " The whole

place went silent and everyone looked. The girls, three of them who

were about 15, went completely white and looked absolutely terrified!

At the time I was too, because I knew what was coming next, but all

of a sudden my friend started laughing and pointed at her sweater:

It was disappearing ink! We watched it vanish right in front of our

eyes. My mom hollered a few things at the girls as they were making

their getaway. I'm sure they didn't try that trick on anyone else

that day.

I told my sister this story yesterday and we laughed. It's funny now

but certainly wasn't funny then. My poor little heart was in my

throat!

Actually, strike that--I don't think it's even funny now.

But the fist fight, now that's a real side splitter.................

> I thought in the interest of fun and lightheartedness, that I would

> ask this question. What is the funniest story you have to tell

about

> BP loved one. Maybe it will help to find humor in our situations

as

> well as all the horrible feelings we get. I hope no one feels this

> is inappropriate...but sometimes it helps me to be able to laugh

some

> things off.

>

> I will start....

>

> My story to share is not really mine but was shared to me from my

> sister. Her and her husband took my nada for tests for a thyroid

> condition at a hospital. When she came out she was furious! My

> brother in law asked her what was the matter. For the longest time

> she wouldn't tell them what happened. Finally after several

minutes

> of begging etc. she told them that the doctor she saw suggested

that

> she see a psychiatrist. My sister, knowing that this would be a

good

> thing, asked my nada why. My nada then related to them that she

told

> the doctor she thought her husband was gay, because his penis

seemed

> to have changed in shape. Could you imagine!! My brother in law

> couldn't hold it back anymore...and had to pull the car over,

stepped

> outside and busted up laughing! Nada swears that it changed and of

> course since he didn't want to sleep with her anymore ...that he

had

> turned gay overnight.

>

> Ok...your turn! What is your funniest story...

[Guest guest]

Hm.....well, uhhh....(scratching head)....

We laughed when I was growing up, but it was really strange and

embarressing when I got to college and learned that laughing AT other

people or making jokes ABOUT other people wasn't the way the rest of

my friends got alot.

In fact, I'm still at a loss and have to remain quiet when my friends

are hanging out with each other. The only funny comments that pop

into my head are generally the ones that cut people down. That's what

we did for a laugh in my FOO. We'd sit around the table at dinnertime

and either debate/argue, or cut each other down. Sad.

I've memorized several jokes now (and people tell me I have a great

loud laugh) to try to unlearn this.

-- sraddha

[Guest guest]

okay, i have to say...in response to your question...that i, for one,

have MANY MANY MANY " funny " stories. and, i am quite surprised that,

so far, most people here can't think of any!!! where's ilene...she's

got good ones too...i will never forget her nada being " scarlet o

hara " and making a dress out the curtains! maybe it's the

perception. i learned early on that the only way to survive was to

laugh. sooo here ya go...laura's nada's: (i will nutshell these for

you)

1. laura puts a picture up of her dad after he passed away. nada

gets jealous. soooo, she BLOWS UP a huge picture of herself walking

a fake alligator on a leash and frames it so that laura can put it in

her house. and, yes, she checks to make sure that it is up with

every visit.

2. nada dog sits for laura over the weekend once. rather than

staying in laura's house overnight as originally planned, she

gets " scared " and drives 2 HOURS (with the labrador) to the nearest

relative. she drove there at night...and back to laura's house early

the next day just so that she can answer the phone when laura calls

to tell her everything is okay. then, the following night she makes

the 2 hour trip AGAIN...only to return the next day before laura gets

home...none the wiser.

3. when laura returns home one day. she finds ALL of her towels out

of the cabinets and hanging on ALL of her windows. keep in mind that

the windows ALL have miniblinds and are closed...but nada hangs the

towels OVER the blinds from the inside. why, you ask? well, it's

perfectly logical. laura's miniblinds aren't " thick " enough and we

can't have the people on the street seeing the shadows move around

the inside of the house, can we?

4. nada has a mysterious cast on her arm, she explains something

about " weak muscle tone " (huh?) the cast is a temporary cast...made

of fabric. but it has this pocket that one can insert some sort of

ice-gell pack. she wears this cast for OVER a YEAR...every

day...until it is tattered and torn. the ice pack never leaves the

cast and is never, EVER actually cold.

5. don't even me started on the creative food dishes... but....

nada will only eat HER bisquits. made from bisquick. (which i am

quite sure is a fine product used correctly) nada just throw it in a

pan and mixes it with water. she never measures. but she makes sure

that the bisquit batter is nice and thick and lumpy. then she gets a

tablespoon and heaps the " bisquits " into a round pan...one lump next

to the other until the pan is full. the bisquits are HUGE and shaped

like mountains growing together across the pan. dry as dirt. and

all the lumps and bumps are peaked up over the tops and cooked to a

dark brown... and, ya better eat em!!!

6. she makes cakes with bisquick too. from scratch....mmmmmmmm.

( " ethopian meal cake " as they are affectionately called behind her

back)

7. " the weanie roll. " what is that, you ask? well, that was her

hairdo from 1975-1998.

8. chanel #5 1970-1980

la-air-du-temps 1980-present. and LOTS of it.

yep, you can smell her comin!

9. she tried to MAIL my children birds nests from her yard just last

month...but i stopped that before it started. but it's still funny!

there is more...but you get the picture. i actually had to delete

the funniest ones...because they were so bizarre and odd that even i

felt bad sharing them here to be laughed at!!! a walking comedy

act...if you choose look at it that way...

laura nevele

> I thought in the interest of fun and lightheartedness, that I would

> ask this question. What is the funniest story you have to tell

about

> BP loved one. Maybe it will help to find humor in our situations

as

> well as all the horrible feelings we get. I hope no one feels this

> is inappropriate...but sometimes it helps me to be able to laugh

some

> things off.

>

> I will start....

>

> My story to share is not really mine but was shared to me from my

> sister. Her and her husband took my nada for tests for a thyroid

> condition at a hospital. When she came out she was furious! My

> brother in law asked her what was the matter. For the longest time

> she wouldn't tell them what happened. Finally after several

minutes

> of begging etc. she told them that the doctor she saw suggested

that

> she see a psychiatrist. My sister, knowing that this would be a

good

> thing, asked my nada why. My nada then related to them that she

told

> the doctor she thought her husband was gay, because his penis

seemed

> to have changed in shape. Could you imagine!! My brother in law

> couldn't hold it back anymore...and had to pull the car over,

stepped

> outside and busted up laughing! Nada swears that it changed and of

> course since he didn't want to sleep with her anymore ...that he

had

> turned gay overnight.

>

> Ok...your turn! What is your funniest story...

[Guest guest]

Boy did that hit home. My n. has never read a recipe but thinks she is this

gourmet cook. I always hated asparagus..Why? she always overcooked it and

then threw gobs of salt on it. Then there is the time she made a peach cake

from peaches in the yard. Cooked it for 2--hours and when it wouldn't firm up

she put it in the freezer.

Would make a salad then add last week's brown lettuce and mushy tomatoes.

(and tell us we were fussy eaters!!!). After I was married I bought cook

books and took cooking lessons.

Debbie

> Oh my gosh. Are most nadas horrible cooks? Mine is terrible. She tried

> to make split pea soup once. She boiled the peas for like 10 minutes (they

> take at least two hours), and then put them in the blender with carrots and

> celery. It made me sick to my stomach for days.

>

[Guest guest]

ExBPD had two jokes. He told them for the more than 20 years I knew him. He

always laughed the loudestand never seemed to notice the other eyes looking at

the ceiling. I didn't think they were funny the first time he told them, so they

wore thin after so many boring repititions.

His nada thought she was amazingly entertaining though I cannot recall anything

that was.

Cooking wise, my ex could muck up toast. Eventually he was able to make a cup of

tea or coffee.

First time I had dinner at his nada's as a naive 18yr old, she had lollies on

the table, marshmallows, and every single salt and pepper shaker she owned (

must have been 6 sets), three table cloths, and the table was so full of jars of

pickles and cocktail onions and other things that remained unopened, and I had

never actually seen before. The house smelled of moth balls, and I recall a

rather unrecogniseable roast that was over cooked along with the tasteless

vegetables. It was like entering a tomb. His father sat there and said nothing

the entire time. Dish rag dad, poor man.

trompalina wrote:

Hi Oldmominor,

This was a good proposal. I am kinda laughing that it looks like none of us have

any funny stories.

I am stretching my memory and I can't come up with any. Wow, even that my mother

has only a very vague sense of humor, I can't remember anything funny ever

happening in regards to her. Hmmmm

The only one that crosses my mind, but it was only funny to her.

We were at the lake one weekend and she took me and my younger brother out in

the boat, my father's sister went along. When we returned to the dock, my

brother jumped out to get the rope to secure the boat. He would have been about

7. Somehow, his lower leg was in front of the dock. His leg got smashed between

the boat and the dock. She was giggling to my aunt, just giggling that little

girl giggle. Showed no concern of what kind of damage this might have done to my

brothrs leg. I was horrified - could feel his " pain " , can still almost see that

sad little look on his face. She was still giggling with my aunt and before she

was out of the boat told us not to tell our father. Well, guess who giddily told

my Father? She did. This is the kind of sick little girl attention she always

sought from him. She was a lot like the woman in fatal attraction in her

relationship with my father.

So, I am sad to say this is the only story I can think of with any humor

involved in regards to something funny. It was not funny. She perceived it as

funny.

But thanks Oldmominor, for giving me another the opportunity to see another

trait in my nada. Hugs, Trompalina

> I thought in the interest of fun and lightheartedness, that I would

> ask this question. What is the funniest story you have to tell about

> BP loved one. Maybe it will help to find humor in our situations as

> well as all the horrible feelings we get. I hope no one feels this

> is inappropriate...but sometimes it helps me to be able to laugh some

> things off.

>

> I will start....

>

> My story to share is not really mine but was shared to me from my

> sister. Her and her husband took my nada for tests for a thyroid

> condition at a hospital. When she came out she was furious! My

> brother in law asked her what was the matter. For the longest time

> she wouldn't tell them what happened. Finally after several minutes

> of begging etc. she told them that the doctor she saw suggested that

> she see a psychiatrist. My sister, knowing that this would be a good

> thing, asked my nada why. My nada then related to them that she told

> the doctor she thought her husband was gay, because his penis seemed

> to have changed in shape. Could you imagine!! My brother in law

> couldn't hold it back anymore...and had to pull the car over, stepped

> outside and busted up laughing! Nada swears that it changed and of

> course since he didn't want to sleep with her anymore ...that he had

> turned gay overnight.

>

> Ok...your turn! What is your funniest story...

[Guest guest]

I racked my brain to think of a funny story, and finally the food

stories brought one to mind. I told it here a long time ago, just

ignore me if you remember it.

My mother's sister came to visit. They were preparing dinner

together. They got into an argument about whether carrots should be

cooked 4 minutes (my Aunt) or 20 minutes (my mother). My mother

prolonged the argument for 20 minutes while the carrots boiled, and

then triumphantly served the soggy carrots.

I cannot recall ever seeing my mother laugh or smile, except a put-on

smile for the sake of people outside the family. I can remember her

crying only once, when someone in a recital in our home sang " Danny

Boy " . A normal person in my place might have felt loved, but to me

it was another sign that she could not see me as separate from

herself.

- Dan

[Guest guest]

My nada was always doing really funny stuff, as I got older, I could

find humor in a lot of stuff she did. Before I *got* that what she

did had nothing to do with ME, it was too embarassing to laugh at! I

have a million funny nada stories, here are a couple that come to

mind.

I took her to lunch with one of my friends once. We were sitting in

the restaurant and nada was fooling around in her giant purse. I

heard chirping! I said " Oh my God, Mom, tell me you do not have a

baby bird in there! " My friend thought this was a hillarious and

bizarre question--until nada said " No, , I have 3 babies in

here. " She pulled out this little " craft store " type bird nest

wrapped in paper towels with three featherless, wobbly headed, baby

birds in it. Nada had over 100 birds, seriously.. She was bird

crazy. I got a little annoyed and said something like " I can't

believe you have birds in your purse out in public. " Nada stopped

eating, began crying and took her birds and her food out and sat in

the car. I felt like the biggest b*tch for making my nada cry, so

then I cried too. lol

Many years before the bird craziness set in, I came home from school

one day to find baby chickens peeping away inside the deep freeze

(don't worry, it was never plugged in!) They were yellow, fluffy and

cute. Nada said she got one for me and one for sister. (no, we

didn't ASK for pet chickens.) Then they grew up into big, scary

chickens. Nada built them a cage & house outside and would let them

out to run around the back yard. She'd make us chase them and catch

them because " they needed attention. " I don't think chickens

necessarily LIKE attention. They scratched us all up and I didn't

like touching them. Nada would get mad and say " fine then, we'll

just eat them! " I was paranoid of eating chicken for a long time,

then finally, the neighbors complained, so nada & sister took them to

a farm. We lived in a residential area, not in the " country. " It

was far from " normal " to have pet chickens, I think it was probably

illegal too. But now it's funny.

My fada does stupid, funny stuff too. One thing is he has 4

refridgerators in his teeny 2 bedroom house. Two in the kitchen, one

in the laundry room and one outside. All of them are plugged in and

have stuff in them, mostly beer and soda--and prunes, lots of

prunes. blech! They disgust me, especially when he eats them, he

chomps and smacks and always used to offer them to me. " Here!! Eat

one!! " with prune bits falling out of his mouth. OK, that's not all

that funny, just nauseating. People call both of my

parents " eccentric, " but, I think that's just a nicer way of

saying " freaking insane. " lol

[Guest guest]

this one had me rolling.

a nada with a chicken fettish. too much! i could just SEE her

stomping away with her birds and crying in the car...it's funny how

my nada's face fits so nicely on the image of your nada the

story...and it isn't even my story!

kind of like my nada in her alligator phase (remember the photo her

with a fake alligator on a leash?). hee hee. she lived in

louisiana, so she was a self-proclaimed " cajun woman " - now, granted

we are NOT cajun...not even close. we lived in baton rouge in the

70's and she was never a " cajun woman " THEN...but suddenly 5 years

ago, she moved BACK to baton rouge...and she became a " cajun

woman " . i'll never forget when she called me one

day...mortified...cuz she ran over a 6 foot alligator in her

car.... " it was like a speed bump in the road!!! " she says...she

didn't see it until it was too late.

(this would only happen to her)

> My nada was always doing really funny stuff, as I got older, I

could

> find humor in a lot of stuff she did. Before I *got* that what

she

> did had nothing to do with ME, it was too embarassing to laugh

at! I

> have a million funny nada stories, here are a couple that come to

> mind.

>

> I took her to lunch with one of my friends once. We were sitting

in

> the restaurant and nada was fooling around in her giant purse. I

> heard chirping! I said " Oh my God, Mom, tell me you do not have a

> baby bird in there! " My friend thought this was a hillarious and

> bizarre question--until nada said " No, , I have 3 babies in

> here. " She pulled out this little " craft store " type bird nest

> wrapped in paper towels with three featherless, wobbly headed,

baby

> birds in it. Nada had over 100 birds, seriously.. She was bird

> crazy. I got a little annoyed and said something like " I can't

> believe you have birds in your purse out in public. " Nada stopped

> eating, began crying and took her birds and her food out and sat

in

> the car. I felt like the biggest b*tch for making my nada cry, so

> then I cried too. lol

> Many years before the bird craziness set in, I came home from

school

> one day to find baby chickens peeping away inside the deep freeze

> (don't worry, it was never plugged in!) They were yellow, fluffy

and

> cute. Nada said she got one for me and one for sister. (no, we

> didn't ASK for pet chickens.) Then they grew up into big, scary

> chickens. Nada built them a cage & house outside and would let

them

> out to run around the back yard. She'd make us chase them and

catch

> them because " they needed attention. " I don't think chickens

> necessarily LIKE attention. They scratched us all up and I didn't

> like touching them. Nada would get mad and say " fine then, we'll

> just eat them! " I was paranoid of eating chicken for a long time,

> then finally, the neighbors complained, so nada & sister took them

to

> a farm. We lived in a residential area, not in the " country. " It

> was far from " normal " to have pet chickens, I think it was

probably

> illegal too. But now it's funny.

> My fada does stupid, funny stuff too. One thing is he has 4

> refridgerators in his teeny 2 bedroom house. Two in the kitchen,

one

> in the laundry room and one outside. All of them are plugged in

and

> have stuff in them, mostly beer and soda--and prunes, lots of

> prunes. blech! They disgust me, especially when he eats them, he

> chomps and smacks and always used to offer them to me. " Here!!

Eat

> one!! " with prune bits falling out of his mouth. OK, that's not

all

> that funny, just nauseating. People call both of my

> parents " eccentric, " but, I think that's just a nicer way of

> saying " freaking insane. " lol

[Guest guest]

Yo Other KOs,

Otay, I've got one, besides the one on nada stealing flowers from graves in

the cemetery. You mean that wasn't enough? <wink, wink>.

Nada used to put a mineral rock in the plastic drinking water container in

the refrigerator. I'm not knocking natural cures, herbs or holistic medicine.

She thought it had miracle cures for her 'condition'. I was always told not

to use the orange water container because someone would make fun of her. One

day when I was very young, a friend of mine and I were thirsty and the friend

grabbed the orange container (for private use with the rocks in it) and not the

other one for company (without rocks) and said 'this has rocks in it'.

Well, try to explain that to your peer playmates at 6-7 years old.

Rita

" And she'll have fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the keyboard away " .