Re: Hello Again! FREE

[Guest guest]

Free! I am so glad to read your post. I have missed you and

actually worried about you a few times. I'm relatively new with the

group posting thing and certainly people fluctuate in their

involvement, so it was silly of me to worry about you, but hey! I am

glad you're still posting!

I can realte relate to the concept of getting all of the depression/

healing/ etc done in the summer break and gearing up for the semester

just to find yourself overwhelmed differently. I keep thinking " the

time I save not talking to nada on the phone should seem like 5 extra

hours added to each day! " But it really isn't. But I can also

credit myself for taking better care of me, resting more, and just

beginning to unravel the knot that I couldn't even acknowledge last

spring and early summer. I always rely on vacation to to mend all

the wounds, clean-out the cobwebs, but I guess it taked continual

maintainance. Ugh, I always think I'll do that too... get up a

little earlier and meditate, get to school earlier and be mega-

organized, hardy-har! I used to have a post it note on the computer

that read " find the balance " but then it got lost under all the other

post it notes. I laughed when I found it months later in a fit of

disorganization. It's funny how unrealistic I can be!

Blessings,

> Big sigh!!!!!!!!!!!!

> Wow! I took this summer off from teaching to give myself the luxury

> of being depressed - figuring I could resolve everything and " get

it

> over with " and come out the other side in the fall " all better. "

>

> Welllllllllllll - it didn't quite work that way. I came out in the

> fall still deep in the hole of my self-induced, well planned

> depression - with my plate full, over-flowing in fact of things

that

> needed to be done - without the gushing flow of adreneline I am

used

> to, and lacking some of my previous coping skills.. without having

> fully settled into new ones.

>

> Soooooooooooo it's been a rough few weeks.. or month.. or some

horrid

> amount of time that I have been running as fast as I could to keep

up

> from being so far behind...kind of like treading water while

holding

> dumb-bells.

>

> So I haven't been around for awhile... trying to stay as

resourceful

> as I could to make it through this semester. I think I graded

papers

> and projects non-stop since a week or two before Thanksgiving....

> never getting " ahead, " just keeping from being as far behind. I

> generally DO teach 8 to 9 classes in the fall (Prime time for

> adjuncts), but this year it kicked my butt.

>

> One thing I am proud of - is I didn't push everything DOWN and keep

> busy. I put things ASIDE to function. And I also took care of

myself

> better. I RESTED when I was tired (such a unique experience).

>

> I thought of you all many times.... and my thoughts often made me

> smile.

>

> I turned in my final grades 2 hours ago... and it feels good to be

> back.