Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Hi everyone, I haven't had a relationship with my nada for almost two years, having a nada free existence has been very pleasant for the most part she was leaving me alone for awhile and now she has decided that we should see each other and keeps sending me cards with what she considers kind words written on them.. Needless to say these cards are making me feel sick...I know I shouldn't open them but I do and then I throw them out right away. I told her a month ago that I did not want to resume a relationship with her and now I view these cards as subtle harassment. I am not going to have her in my life but she is making me physcically and emotionally ill by contacting me. I too believe I must have cfs even though i've never been formally diagnosed...as far back as I can remember I have been tired all the time even after going to bed at 7p.m and getting up 12 or 13 hours later. I believe that when we end our relationship with nada we do go through a period of mourning....I feel sad lately and am having big time mood swings. Is joint pain also a symptom of cfs? I have that all the time too. I thought I did good " surviving " my crazy upbringing but now I'm not sure, depression, exhaution and achiness....hmmm doesn't sound so good does it. I need to snap out of this sadness....I really wish nada would fall off the face of the earth and stop contacting me via mail. I know this post is all over the place, thanks for listening... Penny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Dear Penny, There is no " snapping out " of depression and expecting yourself to is only going to make recovery take longer. You need to be very kind and patient and in some ways indulgent with yourself to a degree that you've never known before. Being " functional " and " practical " and " sensible " will only torture your soul further. Depression is a beast that can only be tamed by love. Annette --- cmzgirl1231 wrote: > Hi everyone, > <snip> I > need to snap out > of this sadness....I really wish nada would fall off > the face of the > earth and stop contacting me via mail. > I know this post is all over the place, thanks for > listening... > > Penny http://personals.yahoo.com.au - Yahoo! Personals New people, new possibilities. FREE for a limited time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Hi Penny, I really like what Annette said in her post. Be kind to yourself and don't come down on yourself because you are feeling sad. Have you thought of simply sending the cards back to nada unopened, either " return to sender " or in a packet addressed to her? That way you send her a clear message that you will not be hoovered in, and you block her from getting into your consciousness. Just a thought. I did it with my father (fada and dishrag) and it felt very good to me. He hasn't contacted me since. Take care of yourself, Deirdre _____ From: cmzgirl1231 Sent: Tuesday, December 30, 2003 1:45 PM To: ModOasis Subject: confused and cfs Hi everyone, I haven't had a relationship with my nada for almost two years, having a nada free existence has been very pleasant for the most part she was leaving me alone for awhile and now she has decided that we should see each other and keeps sending me cards with what she considers kind words written on them.. Needless to say these cards are making me feel sick...I know I shouldn't open them but I do and then I throw them out right away. I told her a month ago that I did not want to resume a relationship with her and now I view these cards as subtle harassment. I am not going to have her in my life but she is making me physcically and emotionally ill by contacting me. I too believe I must have cfs even though i've never been formally diagnosed...as far back as I can remember I have been tired all the time even after going to bed at 7p.m and getting up 12 or 13 hours later. I believe that when we end our relationship with nada we do go through a period of mourning....I feel sad lately and am having big time mood swings. Is joint pain also a symptom of cfs? I have that all the time too. I thought I did good " surviving " my crazy upbringing but now I'm not sure, depression, exhaution and achiness....hmmm doesn't sound so good does it. I need to snap out of this sadness....I really wish nada would fall off the face of the earth and stop contacting me via mail. I know this post is all over the place, thanks for listening... Penny Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: http://www.BPDCentral.com _____ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 >I hope you all don't mind me jumping in here, but I REALLY like the way Deirdre thinks. I can't think of a better way to get the message across than to just send the garbage back! It seems like the best way to prevent being hoovered by so-called 'martyr mail' (I don't remember who on this site coined that phrase, but I think it should be added to the list - absolutely brilliant!)!! Tammy Hi Penny, > > I really like what Annette said in her post. Be kind to yourself and don't > come down on yourself because you are feeling sad. > > Have you thought of simply sending the cards back to nada unopened, either > " return to sender " or in a packet addressed to her? That way you send her a > clear message that you will not be hoovered in, and you block her from > getting into your consciousness. Just a thought. I did it with my father > (fada and dishrag) and it felt very good to me. He hasn't contacted me > since. > > Take care of yourself, > > Deirdre > > > > _____ > > From: cmzgirl1231 [mailto:cmzgirl1231@y...] > Sent: Tuesday, December 30, 2003 1:45 PM > To: ModOasis > Subject: confused and cfs > > > > Hi everyone, > > I haven't had a relationship with my nada for almost two years, > having a nada free existence has been very pleasant for the most > part she was leaving me alone for awhile and now she has decided > that we should see each other and keeps sending me cards with what > she considers kind words written on them.. Needless to say these > cards are making me feel sick...I know I shouldn't open them but I > do and then I throw them out right away. I told her a month ago > that I did not want to resume a relationship with her and now I view > these cards as subtle harassment. I am not going to have her in my > life but she is making me physcically and emotionally ill by > contacting me. > I too believe I must have cfs even though i've never been formally > diagnosed...as far back as I can remember I have been tired all the > time even after going to bed at 7p.m and getting up 12 or 13 hours > later. I believe that when we end our relationship with nada we do > go through a period of mourning....I feel sad lately and am having > big time mood swings. Is joint pain also a symptom of cfs? I have > that all the time too. I thought I did good " surviving " my crazy > upbringing but now I'm not sure, depression, exhaution and > achiness....hmmm doesn't sound so good does it. I need to snap out > of this sadness....I really wish nada would fall off the face of the > earth and stop contacting me via mail. > I know this post is all over the place, thanks for listening... > > Penny > > > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via > 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > > > _____ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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